The fact and fate finally accepted! Err it's not very suitable for reading huu

I guess my "be-happy' regime works so far (hahaha) Alhamdulillah, does one really need a regime just to be happy??? (wonder.. wonder) :p But today I managed to FINALLY almost finish my part of the obs notes- save 2: Obs Analgesia & post partum haemorrhage (huu after such a looong time), and because I have decided that I should at last act like a mature and responsible medical student (and here I am innocently wondering why does that sounds so weird and nerdy??) and happily accept the fact that I'm an MS!! btw MS doesn't mean Multiple Sclerosis or Mitral Stenosis, it is the nurses' way of addressing Medical Student~

So here I am feeling happy despite being at the end of 4th week of O&G posting and my logbook is far from full.. no worry, it signals that i have to work harder :) And so many things just don't work the way i want them to be but then again almost everything in this world happens to be like that (huh). 

If I were to be given the opportunity to choose, then I would choose to be the Sleeping Beauty (it coincides with my main interest which is sleeping) huu, and wait for a handsome prince to come my way, plant a kiss which would waken me up in a dreamland. But still in reality I choose to stay wide awake in the labour room (though sometimes i keep drifting into dreamless slumber in the ward pantry huu) or roaming the gloomy HTAA compound (probably because I am guessing it right that nobody is going to fulfill the silly dream of the sleeping beauty hehe:p), clad in the ugly and much-despised white coats (instead of flowing glittering white ball gown or lacey and frilly sweet white nighties embedded with cute silk pink roses), allowing my olfactory receptors to recognize & digest the nauseating smell of liquour and ketone breath (well I'm going to smell that way when I deliver a baby as well huu) instead of delightfully enjoying the scent of lovely chocolate fragrance or the homely bread smell in our kitchen..

I choose to force myself to stay wide awake while enduring 'boring' yet extremely important lectures in the dull lecture halls or the not-so-attractive seminar rooms instead of lazing around with Ummi watching Indonesian sinetron (gah)

I choose to be drilled while doing presentations to the Doctors or to be scolded by the nurses  instead of relaxing at home enjoying cup after cup of chocolate drink while entertaining myself with books (because obviously i don't really drink caffeine, including cappucino haha)

So the point is, if one think being a doctor is glamorous, then the person is deviated 36o degrees! I have choosen a path which i was not familiar with (there isn't even a doctor in my family), i have gone through the long and extra dark phase of resentment and regret, BUT I THINK (lately) i have just started to accept everything with gratitude :) Alhamdulillah I think I am in the acceptance phase :) How I hope I will continue to be in acceptance throughout the worst period which is housemanship years!

But still in the not-so-bright a life, He continues to entertain me with things that I love doing (hehe). Occasioanlly the poor MS still had the chance to step into the cool shopping complex last week.. and treated myself to a pair of wedges! (hahaha) 

And because I am not-so-happy-to-go-to-the-hospital-yet-i-feel-so-guilty, He send the rain (the dark clouds threaten me with buffaloes-and-elephant rain) so that it justifies my feeling hehe. Alhamdulillah. But still the ovarian teratoma case which i intend to present in the operation theatre tomorrow awaits me (hopefully i can present huu)

If i still have the chance, I would like to say thank you to Ummi & Abah who had bravely and patiently endured my resentment and regret all these years , my extra dose of crying and sulking, my ample whining and stress huu

Thank you to my sisters who have shown their endless support in my accidental quest to become a doctor.

My 2 brothers whom I love very much just for being my brothers!!

Thank you to my comrades who have helped me in going through the worst period in Kuantan, especially the clinical years huu

Thank you Kak fatin for your own recipe of Chicken Soup which managed to boost a little of my motivation

Thank you to those who have imparted their knowledge to me throughout my 23 years of life

Thank you Prof Nasa for the fatherly talk which succeded in planting a bit of positivism in me

Thank you to those who have existed in my life, excellently playing any role be it big or small in my life play

Thank you to you who have opened the gate of your life and allowed me to walk through it.. and be a significant part residing in your heart

above all, THANK YOU ALLAH for granting me such a wonderful life in this world, surrounded by wonderful people. And I am begging You for Your mercy and love to grant me with such wonderful life in the hereafter..