being a bit secretive :p

Weekend is nearing and I guess my quest to have a nice weekend at home isn't a feasible one. And I fail in wiping off the memory of an important thing which i have to attend to this weekend. The fact that our mandarin class tonight is on doesn't help a bit in nurturing my laziness -sigh- maybe i should learn few negative mandarin words to help me to whine, then I won't hesitate to practise using them here in this blog huu.

I am about to wave gynaecology ward goodbye, when I have just started to feel at home in the ward. And grabbing others' patients (haha, WITH PERMISSION) to be my clerking victims huu. How I hope I would have more chances to present cases, and run a demolishment project of all fumblings and mumblings during the show. (CPs, exams, short cases are all about showing and acting~ at least that is what the doctors keep saying!) 

I have a weak & soft side for those who feel unmotivated, because I very frequently experience the same thing. You know , probably (and I am trying very hard to put the blame) it is the oestrogenic character as opposed to the testosteronic influence. A surge or an urge to hold out your hand and reach~ reach for what?? heh heh I don't know. If you can make even a small contribution by reaching out, which in turn will put some sense in someone's brain, and make a whole big difference in the person's life, then I guess the effort is worthy of something called 'humanity'. 

And now I am wonderingly asking myself why am I jotting down all these? Probably I feel so grateful because when I am being all unreasonable and emotional, I have so many people around me who are always ready and available to knock some sense into my anomalic perception. But sometimes I see people who are in real need of some sense and motivation, but I know I am not the best person to do so, and it leaves me feeling so helpless and useless -sigh- waiting for a superman to save the day. 

It's really frustrating, but life's like that. Selfish, mean and all. I don't know, probably the best that I can do is to pray to Allah so that He will take care of everything. Do'a and tawakkal without trying? That is soooo WRONG! hmmmm