Wedding miscellaneous

It feels nice (extremely actually) to enjoy post-exam quiet days in the serene ambience of our home. I'm trying to pretend that nothing big is going on (since I am not into socializing and partying that much though if the tok kadi asks me whether I would like to bring forward my akad nikah, i won't hesitate an inch to answer a definite Yes haha). My aunt has arrived from Sarawak yesterday, and here I am, blogging. 

For my short case i got a case of breech with Dr Roszaman. Hmm nothing much, and the discussion was around external cephalic version. Dr Dalia (the new lecturer) accompanied him, she was actually trying to familiarize herself with the examination system. Anyway, it was very short (as the name implies of course), I hope it was ok, enough to cover my lumpy long case. Enough of the examination dose. 

Truthfully our house is as quiet as a grave (i am obviously lying because i can hear the sound from the switched on fan). But we are expecting the arrival of relatives tomorrow. There are things which don't happen as planned earlier. Upset? A bit. But never mind, Allah is the best planner :)

I think I've passed the hectic part for the wedding (though I think the next hectic episode starts tomorrow whooa this is so nightmarish), and as for now the only thing I'd love to do is enjoying this end of year 3 holiday to the fullest!

Come to think about it, I have finished my Year 3 MBBS which means I am now a Year 4 student. Is that important? Because I don't feel the slightest 'brainier than a week ago' when I was in Year 3 hmmm. However Year 4 promises a brighter med student life for me. I really can't wait for Year 4 to start! Ah-long dude adekah kita akan sama posting?? Really hoping for it...


How was the exam? Ok? COurse not!

So it is a day post-final-exam, I'm writing again though initially I planned to continue writing after my wedding. I have been blogging for the past 3 quiet weeks- with the only difference I save them as drafts. Reading again the pieces, I couldn't find any reason to publish them save few relevant ones huu it was the usual habit- writing nonsense.

And again my habit of writing on exams- so here goes. The best thing about our exam is, it takes only 2 days! With the first day being examined on the theory part (MCQ & PMP), second day caters the clinical aspect. I was very lucky to have my second day of exam on tuesday rather than on wednesday cause it merely means 1 whole day less for the anxiety to cause cardiomyopathy and damage my fast-beating heart.

MCQ was ~ err no comment. PMP (I don't know what do the initials stand for haha) was quite ok. It's very similar to PBL, we were given 3 cases and for each cases few questions were given (which of course we were expected to answer but that is seldom the case for me huhu). The first one was UV prolapse, 2nd was Pre-eclampsia, 3rd was antepartum haemorrhage (haha I'm giving a vague unspecific diagnosis simply because I don't have the guts to specify it :p)

As for the second day of examination, my exam started at 9am with Long Case. In this exam, I was assigned to a patient, given wonderful 60 mins to act friendly and caring to the patient though most of the time i just acted like a total irritating pest throwing basketful of privacy-breaching queries and invading her dignity by doing physical examinaition with the only justification- I'm trying to help you to become healthy...! :( , and after that a doctor would arrive at the patient's bed and ask me to present the case.

2 things that average-students (like me hoho) love to do before exam:

1. Find out the list of doctors that will take the exam (be the examiners)

2. Pray hard so that only the lenient ones will be available

2 things that average-students love to do on the exam day:

1. scan hard the doctors available in the ward

2. Pray hard that we will be taken only by the lenient ones

2 things that average-students love to do after the exam

1. Pray hard so that our examiner won't remember us for the rest of our life (The worst nightmare for me is when I meet my examiner after the exam, straightaway he/she will remember all the insane things which I have done and mentioned and written in the exam huu)

2. Walk out of the ward in a pitiful face, hoping at least the doctor will give markah kesian, meet our comrades and confess the total havoc of the exam ~sigh~

So back to my long case, I became so nervous when I saw Dr Raja Arif simply because I had a case with him during ward round once. I was dead afraid he would remember my face and have a negative perception towards me huhu. But ignoring the fact, I just went to the patient's bed, looked at her and she seemed so familiar...

Clumsily introduced myself and asked her permission to clerk her. Have I met her before? Yes.. yes.. but I simply couldn't remember.. then YES! "You were in the ward for blood transfusion.. once upon in a time" She nodded. Nightmare started to set in. She was actually Ashraf's patient which I borrowed for Hana's CEX (Haha we actually made our own CEX), and I clearly remebered that Ashraf tried to confuse Hana by telling her it was a case of Leaking Liquor (siap reka cerita lg the amount of leaking) when actually it was a case of anemia in pregnancy + HIV positive. Ok I am not prepared for this.. for HIV case. 

"Kali ni masuk hospital kenapa? Tambah darah lagi ke?" 

"Eh taklah, masuk sebab kencing manis la"

"Ha?????????????" She answered as if her diabetes was like any of her other problems.. so gaily.

I was hoping for a case of Gestational Diabetes Mellitus or Diabetes complicating pregnancy but DEFINITELY NOT THIS KIND OF DIABETES

GDM under diet control, moderate grade anemia with Hb of 7, AIDS on atiretroviral treatment.. what more could I hope for?.....

During the discussion, I tried to steer the direction towards GDM but the examiner (Dr Bahyah) was far more interested in the severe anemia (+ discussion on heart failure) + labouring patient with retroviral disease. I was a complete flunker! Reality is, I flunked almost all of the exam haha (though the Drs sympathized with me and allowed me to pass)

I'll write on shortcase later...


Written 8 days before my wedding haha

This was written 8 days before my marriage..

8 more days to go before I will be officially tied to A'thiq. Feeling? Stressful & Worried. Stressful? Yup, i think it's the continuum of yesterday's incident.. I smsed him, asking his whereabout. Told me that he was about to board the plane. Yeay Alhamdulillah! Abah told me to delay my plan to go back to Kuantan tomorrow morning. So the latest plan is to buy Shah-Alam Kuantan ticket, Saturday 9am.

Abah will fetch him from KLIA tomorrow morning. In the first place, he asked me to go to the airport with him, then he changed his mind. Feeling? I do miss him a lot and badly want to see him but.... i'd rather meet him for the first time after a long period, on our wedding day.. and i'd rather talk to him for the first time as his wife.. why? I'm dead afraid of the emotional outburst.

He called me this evening but I refused to answer. Why? Again it's the emotional outburst. I was worried that I might have cried when I listened to his voice through the phone. Why? Simply because I miss him so much, a fact that I have never shared with him

A friend called me just now, but again I refused to answer.Why? Not in the mood. I am currently extremely insane!

He told me to log into his Yahoo account for I was assigned to do something.. accidentally saw an email folder entitled Zaujahku Sayang (My beloved wife) containing all my emails. Oooppsss probably he forgot about that when he asked me to log into his account huhu. Feeling? My Lord, that was the last thing I need!! Currently in such a rindu-rindu state, I wouldn't want any induction dose sigh~

8 more days to go?? I just can't wait for his first husbandly kiss hehe. My exams? errrrr forgot bout that... :p

Written 7 days before my wedding haha again

Written 7 days before my wedding..

Me: Athiq, is there anything that you would like to share with me? I'm worried...

Athiq: Maaf.. ana belum btul2 stabil,, (T_T) xsampai ati nk cerita..xnak Batul susah ati n risau.. Lgpun kurang dari 10 hari je lg.. InsyaAllah, everything under control. I learnt a lot today.. Lots of Hikmah from Allah. Jgn bimbng sgt3 k.. Batul prepare n settlekan apa2 yg patut k.. Take Care!- P/s: hebatnya Ujian Allah.. Subahanallah! Nti memang BETUL2 berkualiti! MasyaAllah.. :)

Me: Okay.. w'pun mana mungkin hati ni tenang till i know u r perfectly ok.. waktu dgr brite, rasa nak menangis n giveup, tp bila lama fikir2 smula, baru sedar ni tarbiyah dr Allah :) kita pilih jalan sukar dengan harapan diberkatiNya, pasti ujian pun xsdikit kn? Ntah bila jd isteri, dpt brite nta xsiht d Jordan tp xdpt bantu selain dr doa, tntula tabah & sabar yg buatkn kta dpt harungi saat getir mcm tu kn? Bykan sabar n doa. Allah pasti bantu! :)

He said: Yup! That is 1 of the parts i'm really in love with you most.. Be positif k.. :) InsyaAllah ana kheir. Apa2 nnt ana maklumkn k.. at least hari akad nikah ni byk modal nk 1st talk n share wif my WIFE! (^_~) Do keep praying for us k.. Barakallahu feek! :)

Me? Eit sempat lg terlepas keluar word 'love' tu eh??! En abang, 9 hari lg before nikah kita, sabar2 eh!

Baru td dpt berita dr Ummi, A'thiq met with an accident on his way to the airport. Kesannya he couldn't board the flight which he was supposed to take.. Sepatutnya sampai Malaysia hari ni, now dah tertangguh.. aku memang risau.. sampai i couldn't concentrate on my study. I opened Dutta bat amazingly I couldn't read even a line..

Hati memang tak tenang. Risau. But of course I don't want to burden him more. So I do what I usually do- act cool huhu.

P/s I almost forgot about this.. It was really stressful huu..


It's the Wedding season!

I think it's the wedding season. I attend wedding receptions almost every weekend!

2nd May: K. Dayah + Ust Elmi in Sepang Please click here for more story :) 

*Attended this one but I had no pics

15th May: Akad K.Ac + Abg Azreen Please click here for more story

*Didn't attend

31st May: K.Nadia + Dr Azlan

*Didn't attend because it was so far away in Perak For more Pics please click here

4th June: K.Tasnim + Solah  in Kelantan

*Didn't attend due to logistic prob :p

5th June: K.Ac + Abg Azreen Kelantan 

*Didn't attend due to logistic prob too

6th June: Abang Azreen + K.Ac in Kelantan

*Again, didn't attend

6th June: Ipin + 'Atikah in Ampang Please click here for more story

*Didn't attend because tak tahu jalan

6th June: K.Sarah + Abg Rif'an in Shah Alam

*Didn't attend because I went out with ummi & abah

7th June: Ijat + Amir in Klang

*Attended this one, Alhamdulillah :)

13th june: K. Fatimah Hidayah & Ust Taufik

*Didn't attend because it was in Kedah huu so far away

14th June: Sakinah & Bukhoree

*Attended this one also

15th June: Amir & Ijat in Johor Please Click Here

*Didn't attend because I have attended the one in Klang hehe

20th June: Amalina + ?? in Terengganu Please Click Here

*Sorry adik for not attending.. my exam is just around the corner huu 

20th June: Ust Taufik & K.Fatimah Hidayah

*Didn't attend as well huhu

27th Jun: K. Mazwani & Ust Ubaidillah

*Didn't attend because if I attend then I'll be missing from mine hehe

27th June: My wedding insyaAllah. Alhamdulillah Please Click Here


4th July: Ezy (Mimi's Sister) + Halim

*Planning to attend with A'thiq insyaAllah :)

18th July: K.Mawarni + Sham in Balok, Kuantan Please Click Here

*Can't attend because hantar Athiq kat klia.. back to Jordan :(

Anymore??? :)

I am angry

8 days left before I will sit for my final 3rd year exam- O&G, and yet I don't know what am I doing right now- wasting my time. My aunt who is few years older than me got married today. Her name is Mariam (a variant of my name which is Maryam :) Still I think my name spelling is much better hik hik). Didn't attend the reception because initially thought I was going to study (Asma' and Yasir were very jealous because they couldn't use the same reason to escape from attending haha, and finally they 'polite'ly tagged Abah and Ummi to the wedding ceremony :p )

Currently feeling very irritated with Grey's anatomy. I do personally think it is not much different from Cinta Medik. Sometimes I need extra dose of hospital air by watching these medical series, you know with their hospital standard being very different from the dreadful HTAA, it definitely helps to nurture my imagination of a high-tech hospital. Probably 1 day I will have the chance to work in such environment~ Nilai Medical City here I come heh heh, everything sleek and technological will be the props of IIUM insyaAllah :p

Coming back to the original issue, I think Grey's Anatomy use the medical background merely as a background to highlight the explicit censored scenes that they were so eager to show- it was dead disgusting to think of how cheap the movie is actually!! My initial intention to treat my mind to some boggling diseases in some hospital room was dampened by the fact that bedroom scenes dominated the movie. It was in fact the doctors' on-call room, with the doctors having nothing to do than cherishing their sexual lives with each other. How much more disgusting could that be????

After 10 minutes, I decided that it was so toxic that I really needed to stop before I vomit in front of the TV, and smudging Ummi's rattan mat with bitter bilious greenish-black vomitus..

It was like yesterday when asma' and me were on our way back from Times Square (for our secret programme haha), on the KTM we met a young couple smooching in the back seats of the train. I might be wrong when I mentioned 'a young couple' because the right term should be 'a children couple'. They were so young that their age couldn't even pass 15!! The boy was putting his two legs on the lap of the girl, playing with their handphones (what else do 2 school children do??) while both of us stared at them very intensely. Initially I was sitting with them behind my back, because real truth was I very nearly vomited with rage. But then I realized that I shouldn't just ignore, so I tried to display my uneasiness, turning 180 degrees to face them directly. But of course I didn't spill a word lest they would label me as a 'busy body', instead I watched them as if I was watching a drama on TV. To my dismay, they bisik2 infront of me! They definitely knew that I hated doing that so much (watching them) and yet they also believed that I didn't have the authority to scold them~

Truth is, when you face this kind of thing, you don't watch with lust, asking yourself "Why can't I do the same thing?" instead you watch with rage, asking yourself "I have attended so many course on dakwah, and yet in this real situation, I feel so helpless. Hey kids, look here, I am a medical student, I know how many babies are being born out of wedlock! And look here girl, the bitter real truth is, once you are pregnant, your stupid boyfriend will leave you to suffer on the hospital bed (if you are lucky enough to deliver in a hospital), for Allah-knows how many hours, writhing and wriggling in extreme pain to deliver your baby. And that will only be the STARTING point of your dark horrible life in the future bla.. bla.. bla.." I was so mad, and I felt so helpless....

The real useful piece of advice that I should get was "Control your anger, for a daie calls with love.."

And tonight I get another dose of madness from watching Grey's.. I think House MD is very much better, though they still have those sexual scenes, but at least I learn a lot on medical stuff. if only.. if only.. there is a muslim medical series not much different from House MD.. if only...



Wikimapia guide to the dewan of our wedding reception insyaAllah :)

Coordinates: 3°10'17"N 101°30'51"E

click here


Very short

Why does this blog still exist? Because previously I have written on how lame I am in handling separation, including with this blog.

Thus after extensive conference and discussion, ALHAMDULILLAH, my application to write here is granted!!! Not that it would mean anything to anybody by the way, but it means everything to me :)

BUT with 1 condition:

Continue writing only after marriage! Uhuh? Syarat apekah ini?? Let it be, because in the end it still signifies that blogging will be continued after marriage insyaAllah :) 

So, holiday for another 3 weeks :) Till then.. sayonara H.A.C.O.C


Seperti Khadijah kepada Rasulullah

Today I am in the melancholic mood again after such severe diarrhea. It was due to the keropok lekor rebus that I ate this morning, I am sure.

2 days ago, I went to Kedai Buku Ansar in KP with Hana, in a vigorous search of wifey books. At that point of time, I had just realized that what I had in me was not enough for me to be a good wife. In the end, I bought two books

1. Kisah cinta sejati Khadijah  by Abdul Mun'im Muhammad Umar

2. Jalan Kebahagiaan by ...

The first chapter I read was of course on anger. Why? Because at that time I was still feeling extremely sad after being scolded by A'thiq for some reason. Kesedihan di hati masih tinggi. Why sad? Because after the scolding session, I am extra aware that I haven't done enough to make him feel happy.. Ini baru je bertunang dan duduk berjauhan.. apatah lagi jika dah berkahwin dan duduk bersama? Pasti banyak lagi kelemahanku yang akan mengecewakan dia..

Starting from there I was so determined (and still am) to change drastically. To change to be a better person. Menjadi isteri solehah yang sentiasa membahagiakan suami. Aku ingin menjadi seperti Khadijah kepada Rasulullah, sehinggakan pemergiannya meninggalkan nama, kehilangannya diiringi air mata, kesunyian hidup tanpanya mebuahkan rindu, dan meskipun dengan ketiadaannya, namanya sentiasa saja meniti dibibir Rasulullah, diungguli dan bagaimana pula perasaan dalam hati baginda? Pastinya tersangat merindui isteri tercinta!

Ya, aku ingin menjadi seperti dia. I want my presence in his life become a priceless gift. Aku begitu ingin menjadi bidadari kepada dia, menjadi ibu anak-anaknya, menjadi tempat untuk dia bermanja, menjadi temannya mengejar cinta dan redha Yang Maha Esa, beriringan dengannya menyusuri jalan mencari syurgaNya.. 

Aku ingin menjadi seperti kahdijah kepada Rasulullah....