I am angry

8 days left before I will sit for my final 3rd year exam- O&G, and yet I don't know what am I doing right now- wasting my time. My aunt who is few years older than me got married today. Her name is Mariam (a variant of my name which is Maryam :) Still I think my name spelling is much better hik hik). Didn't attend the reception because initially thought I was going to study (Asma' and Yasir were very jealous because they couldn't use the same reason to escape from attending haha, and finally they 'polite'ly tagged Abah and Ummi to the wedding ceremony :p )

Currently feeling very irritated with Grey's anatomy. I do personally think it is not much different from Cinta Medik. Sometimes I need extra dose of hospital air by watching these medical series, you know with their hospital standard being very different from the dreadful HTAA, it definitely helps to nurture my imagination of a high-tech hospital. Probably 1 day I will have the chance to work in such environment~ Nilai Medical City here I come heh heh, everything sleek and technological will be the props of IIUM insyaAllah :p

Coming back to the original issue, I think Grey's Anatomy use the medical background merely as a background to highlight the explicit censored scenes that they were so eager to show- it was dead disgusting to think of how cheap the movie is actually!! My initial intention to treat my mind to some boggling diseases in some hospital room was dampened by the fact that bedroom scenes dominated the movie. It was in fact the doctors' on-call room, with the doctors having nothing to do than cherishing their sexual lives with each other. How much more disgusting could that be????

After 10 minutes, I decided that it was so toxic that I really needed to stop before I vomit in front of the TV, and smudging Ummi's rattan mat with bitter bilious greenish-black vomitus..

It was like yesterday when asma' and me were on our way back from Times Square (for our secret programme haha), on the KTM we met a young couple smooching in the back seats of the train. I might be wrong when I mentioned 'a young couple' because the right term should be 'a children couple'. They were so young that their age couldn't even pass 15!! The boy was putting his two legs on the lap of the girl, playing with their handphones (what else do 2 school children do??) while both of us stared at them very intensely. Initially I was sitting with them behind my back, because real truth was I very nearly vomited with rage. But then I realized that I shouldn't just ignore, so I tried to display my uneasiness, turning 180 degrees to face them directly. But of course I didn't spill a word lest they would label me as a 'busy body', instead I watched them as if I was watching a drama on TV. To my dismay, they bisik2 infront of me! They definitely knew that I hated doing that so much (watching them) and yet they also believed that I didn't have the authority to scold them~

Truth is, when you face this kind of thing, you don't watch with lust, asking yourself "Why can't I do the same thing?" instead you watch with rage, asking yourself "I have attended so many course on dakwah, and yet in this real situation, I feel so helpless. Hey kids, look here, I am a medical student, I know how many babies are being born out of wedlock! And look here girl, the bitter real truth is, once you are pregnant, your stupid boyfriend will leave you to suffer on the hospital bed (if you are lucky enough to deliver in a hospital), for Allah-knows how many hours, writhing and wriggling in extreme pain to deliver your baby. And that will only be the STARTING point of your dark horrible life in the future bla.. bla.. bla.." I was so mad, and I felt so helpless....

The real useful piece of advice that I should get was "Control your anger, for a daie calls with love.."

And tonight I get another dose of madness from watching Grey's.. I think House MD is very much better, though they still have those sexual scenes, but at least I learn a lot on medical stuff. if only.. if only.. there is a muslim medical series not much different from House MD.. if only...

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