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Saturday

Un-ortho-ing myself but paediatric-ing instead

2 things which I did yesterday:

1st: I accidentally burnt Abang's towel huhu. Not used to the heater :p and not realizing it as well until abang told me to remove it. No wonder I perceived a nice baking smell, just like a bread in the oven.. and to discover that the towel acquired a burnt black patch huu

2nd: Aku dah hangitkan nasi huhuu. (As if abang is using a dapur arang)I have never cooked rice other than using a rice cooker huuu.

But yesterday we went out for a walk since the weather was not very cold yesterday. And the pics- haha mesti orang pelik why do we have to take a pic in front of the cyber cafe. It is very near to Abang's house, and abang said that was where he used to go and send me emails to propose me before our engagement; when he first arrived in Jordan. He didn't have an internet connection installed in the house then. And I really appreciate all that :.)Of course back in those days, phone calls or sms were strictly prohibited, to think that I would 'scold' him hard when he smsed me haha, and would never answer his phone calls (it's funny to remember those things :D)

Being a 'dedicated' paksa-rela medical student, I have started browsing through Nelson textbook of Paeds today hahaha. Will InsyaAllah join abang in the hospital tomorrow, and kecuakan, since I met Zai yesterday (Pak Can's sis in law, a final year medical student in JUST) and she said there are many malignant doctors in KAUH (King Abdullah University Hospital) huuu and since Paeds was my first clinical posting, some 1500 years ago (1.5 years ago), I just can't retrieve any paed stuff from my brain huu.

Decided to do some revision with Abang after subuh, but ended blogging since Abang is more interested in getting some sleep. Claimed that it is his weekend huuu. As for me I still have this jet lag, since I couldn't stay up after 5pm (which equals to 11pm in Malaysia) and will wake up at around 9pm (3am in Malaysia), unable to fall asleep again after that huu. Kesian Abang terlepas usrah, terlepas makan2 with his friends since he probably doesn't want to leave me alone while I'm sleeping. Tapi bila abang tido and I feel bored, I will try many things to wake him up such as holding his hand with my icy cold fingers hehe :p

Friday

Lepas satu, satu... :)

My first bird’s view of Jordan was, “Ya Allah this country is very orange!!!” From the sky one could see that Jordan is not a well developed country, sometimes you kind of feel that you ride a a time machine and enter the old Arabic world :D but it is unique in its own way. The airport is quite small, and I think it resembles UIA Gombak- the square area beside the big mosque. It’s not snowing but it is COLD!!! Abang fetched me at the airport, and I cried when I hug him, I just couldn’t believe that he was real right in front of me. But 1 thing I noted, the Arabs were not very open in showing affection. Everybody kind of stared at us when I hugged Abang, and held his hand; that made me feel a bit uneasy. Abang said they were kind of suspicious, looking at two very young lovebirds. I guess that’s true since the Arabs appear very mature for their age, and probably looking at us they just couldn’t believe that we’re married. Hey, I’m a woman in niqab, hugging my husband!!! Another thing, I always see the Arabs, when they walk as a couple, they like to leave the wife far behind. That’s especially true when the wife is struggling with their kids. That is not kind at all, and far from romantic isn’t it? Huuu

By the way, the long journey was so unbearable, and I dread another KL-Jordan journey. Tapi dapat bersama abang, terubat segala kepenatan Alhamdulillah  And terasa terharu dengan pengorbanan Abang yang slalu balik Malaysia, bukan mudah tu..

So we took a bus from the airport to the town of Amman. Then we took the second bus from Amman (Amman is something like KL- the centre of everything) to go to Abang’s place, Irbid. Unfortunately, my pink trolley bag was stolen on the 2nd bus huuu, and that ruined the mood a bit. My clothes, Abang’s food and my pink-chan all disappeared in a puff huuu. It was very late, It was very cold, and Abang went to the police station to lodge a report while I sat quietly in his house, wondering how will I survive in Jordan without my clothes huuu. And the laptop? Well I don’t intend to buy a new one in the near future, guess I will be paper-savvy for the time being in making my medical notes. Tapi sempat pesan kat Abang belikan potato sandwich (Abang slalu sgt ckp dia makan potato sandwich so I really want to taste it now that I’m in Jordan hehe, and yup it’s delicious- something like KFC twister)

He asked me, masih sedih beg hilang ke? I said no and smiled. Tapi memang terasa seakan lepas satu, satu aku diuji. Mungkin lately terlalu banyak berita gembira yang Allah berikan, maka Dia tak mahu aku terlalai dalam kegembiraan tu. During the revision week I started the moist chocolate cake business, and it was selling just like a hot cake. And I even received an order of a birthday cake from the cafĂ© owner where I sent my cakes; for her daughter (of course I had to decline the offer as I am in Jordan during her daughter’s birthday). Anyway it was my first day with Abang after 4 months of living far away from each other, I wont permit the incident to ruin the happy mood  Mungkin akan ada lagi berita gembira yang Allah nak bagi lepas ni? :D

Hmm the news spread fast, I wonder.. and ramaila kawan2 abang (akhawat) who offer to lend me their clothes, sungguh terharu huu.. and I have many houses to visit :D insyaAllah

I am supposed to go to the hospital with Abang today, but I’m still trying to sort out the problem of lacking clothes huu so I stay at home. I just don’t know what to do and sleep most of the time, clad in the telekung, curled in front of the heater huu. Yup it is terribly cold. One of the things that you’ll hate most in this kind of weather is absolutely the toilet. You take so long to enter the toilet, mandi cincai boncai, and ran out of it in a split second, to sit quietly in front of the heater hehe. Luckily Abang has 3 heaters in the room. So I sit quietly in front of 1 of the heaters, and Abang would make a run for the other one hehe. Pastu nampak macam gaduh pulak, menghadap heater masing2 haha. My shampoo and facial cleanser are also turning into the consistency of a toothpaste!!

Today, I made a brave step to enter Abang’s kitchen  I am not interested to peek my nose into the family matter between abang and his housemate :p but I did wonder about urusan rumahtangga mereka since I found 2 wrenches at their stove. And I had to work hard to make the room something you can call a kitchen huu. Now I understand that only the rarest few of andro species can have a good chemistry with a kitchen!! Huu sorry to abang and of course his housemate (who is staying at his friend’s house currently) for I had to make a thorough spring cleaning and throw away most of the things (which had happily reached their expiry date last year!!!) But of course I still don’t have the nerve to open the fridge; taking heed of Abang’s advice :p. Earlier I wrote that Abang was very anxious to clean his kitchen, simply because I made a threat haha that I won’t cook for him should the kitchen appears dirty.. but of course la abang sayang, it’s not usual that I get to stay with you, and of course I will cook for you! Huhuu. Tapi apabila diperhatikan kitchen abang, as compared to mine, aku dengan berbesar hatinya memberikan grade ‘Mandatory Fail’ hahahaha. Abang mesti bangga neh!!! But today I still hesitate to cook anything, first because I think we have to do the grocery shopping first, secondly because I’m still not used to the extremely cold weather. I just want to curl in front of the heater and do nothing. Tambah lagi bilik abang ni sangat best and kemas :p My lips has also started to have painful cracks, and I pray that I’ll be healthy throughout my stay here insyaAllah 
Tak sabarnya tunggu Abang balik dari hospital!!!

Wednesday

A terrible night, but hoping for a brighter day :)

It was an extremely eventful night.. Ummi and Abah dropped me at KLIA at around 12.30am. That was considered quite early as the flight was scheduled at 2.55am, but considering that I didn’t want to disturb their sleeping time, I didn’t mind. I initially thought I’d do just fine, I mean it’s not the first time I board a plane alone. So I checked in, but was found that my luggage was 5kg in excess!! It’s not our fault by the way because we were made to understand that our weight limit should be 10kg more than the normal limit as it is a student rate. By the way the student status was not written on the ticket..so after giving such a pitiful reaction (well my parents had gone home and I couldn’t pass anything to them should I want to reduce the weight, but in the same time my husband is far away in Jordan, and he was the one who purchased the ticket, and I was left in such a bizarre state not knowing what to do. I frantically tried to call Abang repetitively but was unanswered. It was his sleeping time too (T_T) and I just wanted to cry.. Should I pay, I need to pay RM500 for the 5kg wuuuu. So in the end, Abang finally woke up hehe, he called the personnel and finally we were given a discount of RM200, and I paid.



That was when the second problem arose. I had USD with me and no RM. But when I handed in the USD note, he refused to receive it as it was the old version of USD note. It was produced in 1996, and they only accept notes produced in 2003 onwards.. I was about to scream and said “Susahla camni. Satu satu masalah. Manalah saya tahu KLIA ni tak terima duit mcmni,” in a trembled voice which warned of a coming crying episode. At last he called Maybank and they accepted the note, but the third problem arose..



He refused to give exchange in USD, but gave in RM instead, I was so depressed. He said I need to go to the bank and exchange myself (not that he refused but he didn’t have USD with him- what a terrible service!!!)



It was late, and I was fed-up. So I went straight to the departure hall. Abang was so worried that I have no USD with me except the USD20 that ummi gave earlier huhu.. Of course I need to pay for the visa in Jordan airport later, so he severely insisted that I go and find a money exchanger. So I had to leave my boarding ticket with the personnel, went out again in search of a money exchanger huu and I only wanted to sleep at that time.Finally I managed to board the plane. I apologized to abang sebab susahkan abang, and buat abang risau sgt3 huu. Tp abang said never mind as long as I arrive safely.. insyaAllah.


In the plane, I sat beside the window, and 2 big elderly Iranian ladies sat on my left who didn’t speak English but tried to be friendly and make a conversation with me in the flight. Well 1 thing I think they commented on my outfit especially the sleeves. Rasa macam ayam cakap dengan itik huuu. First of course I had a problem to go to the toilet due to ‘road block’ but never mind about that :p But when it came to meal time, I requested for some simple English meal- hashbrown potatoes, chicken sausage, cheese omelette and some salad as the main course. The irony is the Iranian ladies were given chicken rendang and rice haha. So when I opened my food container, they stared and stared and stared at me, and finally they called the stewardess to exchange their meal just like mine. The thing is the meal was out of stock. So the stewardess tried to convince them that the chicken rice is delicious haha. But they were still not satisfied and called the stewardess for the second time, but still if there’s no stock, then there is no stock huuu. The stewardess speaks English and they speak Iranian language so I don’t how did they manage to come to a term by the way, but throughout the conversation they kept pointing to my food. I guess in the end they managed to accept the fate :p… but still they didn’t eat their food and stared at me finishing my food.. Aku pun buat tak tahu je. When I felt full, I still had a bun, croissants, fruit salad, and few other titbits. Aku dengan tak malunya, pergi ambil the air-sickness bag and stuff the remaining food inside them (ni Ummi yang ajar kitorang buat sejak kecik lagi okay :D. I think that’s what we do every time we board the plane haha. I forgot to ask Asma & Yasir whether they did that recently during the trip to Sarawak). To put in simpler words, I took the untouched food, put them in the paper vomiting bag, and stuff it in my handbag. You wouldn't want to waste the food, wouldn't u? Surprisingly the Iranian ladies did the same!!! No wonder they didn’t eat their food, they wanted to take away. But probably because they have never done that before, they had some difficulty in sealing the bag, so I expertly offered my service for free, preparing their food package hahaha. Mengarut betul.’



Alhamdulillah currently I have arrived in Doha (well I have to confess that this is the first time I hear of such name huu) and have a 6 hour transit time before I continue to Amman. And I have to admit too that after 4 months of separation with Abang, I feel nervous to meet him again huu though we talk to each other every day. The feeling is no different compared to when we were about to get married. Surprisingly Abang admits experiencing the same feeling. On our wedding, I think each of us ate 2 suapan of rice each during makan beradab. Rasa nak muntah probably due to the anxiety. And now I feel like vomiting again huuu. To my coursemates who are getting married, Selamat Pengantin Baru J Barakallahulakuma wajamaabainakuma filkheir!


I'm anticipating polyarticular stiffness after a long period of immobilization in the airport..


Notes on the journey will be continued later.. :D

Tuesday

my ortho exam

Ortho exam officially ended!! :D But I can't say it was a good one either. First thing the MCQ was.... teruk la jugak.. but the One Best Answer was worst. Teringat dulu aku suka gaduh dgn abang, exam sape lagi susah, because in his Univ, they use the OBA, but we use MCQ. UIA has just started the OBA system, and it was... terrible huu. The PMP was quite ok, except that i didn;t know how to answer.. and endep writing nonsense. 2 cases- the first was Osteoarthritis and the 2nd one was open fracture of tibia IIIA complicated by wound infection. As for the Viva, I think most of us got the same Q, and I totally flunked this one wuuu. There were 4 questions- 1st on knee joint anatomy, 2nd on principle of Closed Manipulative Reduction of fracture, 3rd on managing a patient with Diabetic Foot Ulcer, and 4th on managing a patient with neck of femur fracture. I had thought block, and couldn't find the right word for the oral exam huu. When I was asked what is the function of ACL, I answered "To prevent the anterior movement of tibia from the femur" At the back of my mind, I knew there was a specific word for it but I just couldn't recall.. The examiner gave me a scrutinizing and suspiciois look, "Do you mean anterior tibial translation?" "Yes!!! That's the word and the PCL is to prevent posterior tibial translation" haha tried to cover up tp tk menjadi sgt la. And regarding the CMR, I said "We do counterreaction" and was replied with, "What???" "CounterREACTION" The examiner just nodded questioningly. "What do you mean by that?" Then I answered "If the fracture is displaced dorsally then we apply the force towards the opposite direction which is volarly.. we reverse it" He nodded again, "Hmmm there's a specific word for it..." Yup, I knew but I couldn't recall the word, and immediately after I stepped out of the room, suddenly the word counterTRACTION popped in my mind huuuu. I look at the door and felt like bursting into the room, and said "Dr I found the word. It's countertraction!!!" But of course I didn't do that or Razaq (the next candidate) would have a heart attack haha. That was just a small dose of what I have experienced in the exam, but overall I think I did very bad wuuuuuu.

In the long case, I made a diagnosis of osteomyelitis. Well i really don't know the diagnosis actually, and for the short cases the first was open supracondylar fracture femur on Bohler Braun frame, and the second was external fixator + ilizarov. Everybody knows this case hehe.

The difference in our exam is (Medicine as a whole) it is a 1-to-1 exam. You are being examined individually, and that's when you hope that the examiner won't remember you forever after the exam huuu.. for all the nonsense that you have committed to in the exam.. ahhh but holiday is next in the line.. and I just want to un-medicine myself for a while... :)

Sunday

It Iis Sunday people and I'm writing nonsense

Today is Sunday (smiling). It's SUNDAY people!!! (smiling even wider :D). People should be feeling happy on Sunday before the monday blue ruins the next day. Or in our case before the exam ruins our Monday and Tuesday huuu. And today is sunday :D It means I'll be home the day after next insyaAllah :) My family will be back from Sarawak tonight and I feel so happy to know that they'll be nearby (though it's 240km away) but at least there's no sea to separate us hehe.

Reading on all kind of arthritis is depressing. The fact that I'm unable to answer the MCQ even after reading makes the whole thing even more depressing

I'm turning into a better driver these days. Well you do need some turning points in life. Of course when you are carrying boxes of chocolate cakes in the backseat of your car, you start to count the number of road bumps and memorize the location of all the puddles along the way. Well the car speed reduces to half too!!! Each time I decelerate or come to a road bump, the 1st thing that anxiously comes to mind is, "How are my cakes? Are they safe and sound in the backseat??" Huu at times it can be distressing, but well, that's the life of a cake seller :P Mimi said I am independent, Abang said I'm a survivor haha (just because I do business??) but I enquired, "Is it because I am a mata duitan??" I'm sure my brothers think that my suggestion is more agreeable hahaha.

Reaching Monday in few hours..... I'm actually writing this nonsense just to make time travels faster, but the fact that I haven't finished revising makes me feel uneasy -sigh- but I guess the coming holiday is more important huu plus that there's nothing much can be done in the few hours left.... (when you have so many topics to be covered, you just don't know where to start and end up abandoning all..) again regretting the time which has been wasted throughout the posting huuuuuuuu

Saturday

Exam

It has been that long huh? A week without any blogging activity. Don't get me wrong, I wasn't trying any weird recipe of soups out of my Ortho notes, and yup no food poisoning either. (Well I only hope to be ortho-wiser, that's all ~sigh~) Today is Saturday and tomorrow will be the last day without exam!!!! And the exam syndrome has just started which consists of

1. Asking abang repeatedly what if I fail my exam, and I have to do remedial posting and I won't be going to Jordan for elective. Abang kata if dah berusaha, tapi still tak dpt buat elective, itulah yg terbaik dari Allah :)

2. Revision week intolerancy which practically results in me going out everyday. (and I tried hard to search for the purposes as well) Keluar untuk cari baju abang, esok keluar utk cari pewangi yg abang nak, lepastu keluar untuk cari adaptor and extension wire yang abang nak, lepastu g collect parcel dari abang... I'm definitely good at finding alasan haha

3. Feel sorry for myself for not being able to join the family trip to Sarawak this weekend, and start wondering all over again, what am I doing all alone in Kuantan??? And what is it with the ambition to be a doctor?? Confused huu

4. It is always during the revision week when I'll be flooded with ideas (probably because of the excessive time of doing nothing), and this time around I start selling cakes! Yup cakes. I guess it started when I was so excited with my new oven and I couldn't resist the temptation to try it out (though the ortho notes were screaming for some attention), and I baked cake everyday, thus the idea of selling cake haha. So yes moist chocolate cake with rich chocolate topping :) Planning to expand the menu as well, but probably after the holiday insyaAllah

5. Most importantly, examination makes me feel close to Him..because everytime I think of the exam, then I start thinking of life as the real exam.. the feeling is, I think I'm not good enough to be judged by human beings (the Doctors of course), though at times I think I have done my best, working hard throughout the posting then how can I ever think of obtaining a pass once being judged byAllah the Almighty??? The most that I'll get is a failure in Ortho posting, I can always do a remedial, if not I have 2 years of extra clinical years to spare, or worst, I will be kicked out of medical school, and that's it in this very short life, for I will leave everything behind once the grave gives a call. Maybe I won't even have the chance to complete my medical training when my time in this world is up.. but do I work hard to face that real exam?? I always take things for granted....

And for that reason, I am most grateful to have this exam as a reminder that life is very short, and that I should be preparing for the ultimate judgement.. And i like that feeling of helplessness as a servant of Him..

I know.. I know most of the times I have this negativism on Medicine; on why must I do medicine, on why must I be a career woman when I want to be a housewife, on why do I have to be a doctor and experience a life which to most people is 'suck', but hey

"Life is movement, movement is life!"

Monday

Merapu

-Smiling- smiling all the way to reach bilateral tragus haha. Ummi and Abah finally visited this house yesterday :) though it was just a day trip. And I cooked the whole day yesterday, celebrating the visit of few friends. And I baked for the past 2 days :D, perhaps I forgot to mention that the coming exam is actually a baking exam :p ( I am sort of confused that it is actually an Orthopaedic exam!) Well they say all work and no play makes Jack a dull man, but excessive play and no work makes me a lousy person huhuu. Ok, ok, I'm off to work.. :p

Abang bersungguh2 ‘renovate’ dapur dia.. I wonder why… I asked him renovate apa, dia kata aku menyibuk je :p I told him that I like to menyibuk kat dia, so he told me he has cleaned the kitchen many times sampai dah jemu.. I wonder why… Abang….. kenapa rajin sangat??? Abang mesti tersipu2 je nak jawab, ngeh3

Another 8 days before my exam will be over… Just to update myself, I’ve been staying far from Abang for almost 4 months! And throughout that period, I had passed my Comm Med & Public Health posting, I had done my Forensic posting, and now I’m about to finish my Orthopaedic posting and sit for the exam insyaAllah. Pheww that’s long.

But I’m still sulking for not being able to join my family's balik kampung trip :( Never mind, I’m coming home in 1 week time insyaAllah! And while writing this, I receive a message from Ummi, just to tell me that Yasir’s blood group is A haha. I asked her how did he came to know about it, she said he tested at Alam Medic and paid RM 15 huuu… apekah?? Ummi’s blood group is A and Abah is B, but the 4 of us (except for Umar who’s freaking afraid to test his blood- correction, he’s afraid of needle to be specific) all belong to Group A :D

In few hours the countdown will reach 7 days!!! But my study isn't progressing that well huuu.. I want the holiday but I don't want the exam. Would that be possible?? hmm.........................

Saturday

Come and VOTE!

I don't write that often, since I'm deprived of a decent internet connection in the house. Another 11 days before my exam will be over!! Ah and sure I can't wait for that. Doing the countdown but surprisingly time doesn't bother to move an inch, and I'm stuck in a period called revision week. Making an achevement too, whenI for the first time don't go back during revision week huuu, I guess the presence of Indon workers in the house compound isn' that pleasant, and my family is looking forward a trip back to Sarawak which makes my presence at home even further insignificant ~sigh~

It's Saturday, and I guess today I should at least start flipping through the notes.. (after one whole Friday of doing nothing). Taking into consideration the level of ortho knowledge I have right now, procastination is absolutely not a feasible choice. All sent- logbook, 4 case writeups, 20 case summaries, 10 on call sheets... I'm done with Ortho!!!! for now... Pray that I can pass the exam well, and receive my much-awaited holiday with gratitude huuu.

Eagerly waiting for the Pilihan Raya Kampus as well- It's on Thursday guys, so don't forget to do the least that you are able to do (applied to me as well huu) - COME and VOTE!!! :D

Alhamdulillah

Praise be to Allah, for I have savely moved out from IIUM. It was muscle-aching and dead tiring- moving the furnitures especially... and of course screwing the DIY things.. That's the drawback of not having an andro homo sapien to help out I guess.. And I did the climbing activities as well, to hang the curtain. But Instead of buying the RM100 expensive steel ladder, I just bought an RM10 plastic stool huuu.

Everything done in 2 days..but the result?? Myalgia, arthralgia just name them. But currently I am in UIA to spend the night hehe. First thing because the bad internet connection in UIA is actually far better than the Celcom broadband.. at least I can still skype with abang here, though at times we just have to bear with repeated sudden disconnection.

Another thing is I really want my family to come and spend a night or 2 in the house.. but I guess I can't expect too much when I'm married.. sort of have to be a little independent, I'm not a little kid anymore.. with Ummi busy being a contractor (a bit of renovation work going on in our house, and she's busy supervising the indonesian workers perhaps??!!) but yup I'm brooding over it..

Dikala bersedih ni, teringat kat abang.. but the time difference becomes the limitation. And I'm trying hard to wake him up and chat with me.. sungguh tak patut! He had never woken me up before just because he needs me huu, well maybe that's the hard fact he has to bear with- an inconsiderate wife haha. So I tried another strategy- by making the Secret Recipe owner richer by few ringgits- while I sinfully consumed hundreds of Black Forest calories, hoping it would induce the secretion of happy neurotransmitters- guess it's not working anyway.

Now the final week of Orthopaedic finally arrives!!!! Am I glad that A&E posting has finished!!! But it means a thick compilation of notes to be emergently digested, ahh I am not very keen in doing that...thinking of going back AGAIN!??

Sunday

The prayer for guidance

And when My servants question thee concerning Me, then surely I am nigh. I answer the prayer of the suppliant when he crieth unto Me. So let them hear My call and let them trust in Me, in order that they may be led aright
(Al-Baqarah 2:186)

4th January 2010 Alhamdulillah :) And I'm accelerating towards becoming part of the archeological world. This year I turn TUH-WEN-TI FOUR!! And Abang? TUWENNNTI FAIVVE. Abang asked me my new-year azam. Err should I have 1? Never thought about it before, new year seems so insignifcant huu. So he created 1 for me (a secret of course hehee), I guess the only thing is I should comply, isn't it? Brilliant~

Will insyaAllah shortly be on my way back to Kuantan, with loads of motivation ( I hope) and surely a Shika full of things!! opps it turn into a bangla-shy car today hehe (no offense to the bangla, it's just that bangladeshis like to ride a motorcycle in a trio hehe). Will try to capture a pic of the poor Shika :p Ok, honestly I'm abusing Shika by making him carry my washing machine to Kuantan hoho. I'm off to Kuantan for good- until the final exam isyaAllah :D Do pray for me..

I just can't believe it that I managed to make it to the 9th Ortho week- which obviously will be the most terrible week because I'll be posted in the Accident & Emergncy Department throughout, and it merely means a 8am-to12am-daily timetable.. wonder how will I manage though.. Case write-up finale which should be submitted on Friday, my CPC presentation which is also scheduled on Friday.. I thought I would make good use of the weekend by completing the writeup and the presentation slides... but it took an ungly turn haha when I didn't even manage to read the journals which I'd brought home. Looks like I purposely plan for a crammer 9th-week.. Serves me right I guess... :(

Discussing on a different issue, surprisingly I was asked by few people on Istikharah prayer within the past week! When you perform istikharah, must it be answered with a dream? and I was even asked, did I dream of anything when I performed istikharah before marrying Abang? Seriously I can't remember, but I think I didn't...

I found a link which clearly explains on istikharah, do read it here http://www.beautifulislam.net/articles/dreams_istikharah.htm
and another very interesting article here..
http://www.readingislam.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=IslamOnline-English-AAbout_Islam/AskAboutIslamE/AskAboutIslamE&cid=1123996016698

Friday

Dear Abang..

I'm home :) woke up, fresh and bright this morning, with a very positive attitude towards the high stack of ortho notes, journals and library books (considering the exam is just around the corenr) but my mood is spoilt.. Abang bersedih, aku pun ikut sedih huuu... luckily I am planning to go out shopping with ummi, to buy things for abang, well at least i have something exciting to do.. shopping for abang is indeed exciting because abang's shopping list consists of unexpectd trivial things hehe. Things which I hadn't expected earlier, and I laughed at it :D

How I hope u'll be ok, sayang.. Really miss the cheerful you