Today I really hate myself

Today I really really really extremely hate myself!!! For being ignorance, for being such a dork, for being sucha lazy person, for being such an arghh.... i just can explain this frustration! I should blame my sleep duration which added up to almost 10 hours last night. Or I might have to accuse my ever wandering mind for being such an extensive traveler. Wait a second, I should give my failing memory a lesson, for denying to process any recalling activity . But in the end I blame my own self for my own weaknesses..

I read on the techniques to assess ascites, and yet when I was asked to demonstrate it on a patient, I backed out. I was asked about intestinal obstruction and I answered "I don't know". I didn't even have the slightest idea
what intestinal obstruction was, when I had encountered the matter for countless times in preclinical years!
I have just read on pyloric stenosis in paediatric just few hours before and I couldn't recall that. And my mind couldn't stay intact throughout the bedside teaching class. Ahh have I committed a major sin, when I don't fulfill the trust and amanah as a student? I really should improve, I really should improve.. Astaghfirullah.