Today, ALHAMDULILLAH i anchored my ship at a new point charted on my navigation map- I had my first clinical examination! Ok I may sound like a a hopeless brat, sorry about that but it really meant something big to me.. Alhamdulillah.
Ok the exam was like this, today we were divided into 3 groups. The first group would start their session at 11.30am, 2nd group at 12pm and the third group at 12.30pm. Being such an unsensible don't-steal-my-parking-space sissy, i have to confess that i headed for the hospital at 7am when actually i was scheduled to start at 12.30pm- I was in the 3rd group. It's not a joke, it is extra-unimaginable-stress to find a parking space near the hospital nowadays -sigh-
Carrying the heavy load of anxiety in my chest (I should just be thankful to Allah that it didn't produce any precordial bulging or displace my apex beat), I headed to the ward with Mimi -one of my best buddy =)- repeating along the way how to do a Central Nervous System examination, we were exactly acting like 2 parrots.. and to acknowledge that in Malay parrots are called Kakak Tua -gosh, we were like 2 ancient sisters-
I guess everybody was anxious, proven by a phone call which i received from a friend, who asked me how to clerk an asthma case. Well you see in the last precious minutes, the normal feeling is.. suddenly an extremely efficient vacuum cleaner has sucked and cleared everything from our mind. I guess if we percuss the brain, the normal result is hyperresonance huuu
But i was at least relieved by the fact that my turn would be 4 hours away.. so i had around 240 minutes to prepare.. and to sulk. It was not a mystery anyway when we arrived in the ward, none of the 3rd year medical students was around, it was still to early. And we actually took the opportunity to smack each other (whoaa!! actually we tried to find deep tendon reflex in each other hehe) for uncountable times! What a joke hehe
Not much later, a friend arrived.. and few others.. so you can just imagine when someone asked "Crept is heard during which phase? Inspiratory or expiratory?" It was answered by this, "Should we do a complete abdominal examination if we are asked to do haematological system examination?", or when someone asked "Apa finding dalam meningitis?", it was answered by exclamation of "Ya Allah, tak baca langsung pasal HIV" etc. And out of nowhere someone religiously recited the components of Glasgow coma scale, BUT OF COURSE the popular choosen words were: Cuak, Takut, Berdebar, Ketaq etc..-SIGH-
Suddenly the door of the was opened, and... Dr Wahab (our head of pediatric department, our lecturer) made his holy appearance. It was SOO HOLY that an aura of paroxysmal panic spread into the room and diffused through our skins and directly to visceras especially the heart and intestine..because it did produce a symptom of palpitation, tachycardia, shortness of breath, and abdominal cramp.. they call it psychosomatic pain. If anyone just can't imagine the situation, ask Harry Potter regarding his experiences while encountering the dementors and being offered death kisses, or when encountering hollows in Bleach.. i am more than sure the experience is exactly the same huu.
And suddenly Dr wahab told us all to start the exam, despite our group designation. I was about to drop dead on the floor, but at least the remain of strong-will forced me to gather myself up and just brave any obstacles that awaits.. just like a macho warrior, off to the battlefield hahaha.
But alhamdulillah 4 of us was assigned to patients in the same cubicle, and we actually discussed regarding our case! It was not different from the daily ward activity, everybody was talking to each other.. and of course i helped myself to the patient's folder, and brushed my skill in copying the vital signs and anthropometric meaurements haha. Those who were a bit unlucky, they had to do all that by theirselves..

I can't find the right words to describe how grateful I am..because i won't be feeling relieved if only Allah hasn't helped me in the examination. I can assure that i got a simple case (febrile fit), a cooperative patient (2 year old boy who was very active and obey commands and CUTE!), and a lenient lecturer (Prof Aye Aye who helped me a lot throughout my presentation, and smiled to make me feel relax perhaps though I know that many a times i made mistakes). Then the rest was depending on whether I have studied or not (which i do not dare to comment.. due to the hopeless syndrome crisis which i got before the exam).. and of course taqdir. Allah knows what is best for me.

To think that the mother of my patient told me what the doctor has told her..
Mum: Doktor kata tonsil dia bengkak, merah
Me (dalam hati): Good, now i don't have to find the reason for fever
Mum: Ha ni bengkak ni (while showing towards the left submandibular lymphadenopathy measuring 1 cm x 1 cm)
Me (dalam hati): Ya Allah, excellent! Probably i would have missed the lymphadenopathy if she hadn't mentioned it earlier

For the short case, I had to comment a Down Syndrome patient to Dr Siti Noor. A very sweet and nice Dr, but very intelligent also which made me feel very inferior to her hehe. It should be an easy case, but as i was experiencing absence seizure at that time, i kind of zoom out huu. And the fact that i was asked regarding the anatomy of hands (i don't even remember the middle phalanges exist!!!!) did not help at all! Worst was I had a facial muscle cramp which started when I was smiling, and obviously that resulted in me smiling throughout the short case even when Dr said (Do you want to go back to year 1 and learn anatomy?" OMG, i am very sure it looked like a pasted smile but what to do.. everything was over.. But alhamdulillah ala kulli hal..

Special thanks to MIMI, Ghaus, Salam and Afiq who helped me to relax during the clerking phase (by showing that you all were cuak too and made me realize i was not the only candidate who menggelabah tahap extreme huu), and who helped me to relax before the presentation by entertaining my killer question of "How can we rule out meningitis?" Jazakumullah.

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