9th June 2010

This was written on 9th June 2010..

I was in Syria, joining a tour to Halab, a 5-hour drive from Damascus. It was late, and we were on our way back. We departed from Homs (where 13 1st water turbines were located) at around 7.30pm. After only 10 minutes drive, the bus suddenly stopped, and a simple diagnosis of 'running out of gas' was made. While waiting for the driver to manage the problem, most of us got down from the bus. Some had their dinner, and some just linger around for some fresh Syrian air. Abang and me walked down the the rows of shops. It was nearly dark, and the Maghrib prayer could be heard from a nearby mosque. The similar design which could be found in other parts of Syria. We intended to find a cyber cafe as 2 days of internet-free is something unbearable nowadays. And we found a pharmacy (which was actually extremely abundant in Syria. Really I thought they were more abundant than grocery stores in Malaysia). We bought a Urine Pregnancy Test.

After approximately 20 minutes we were informed that the bus was again ready to start the journey. The next destination was Khalid al Walid mosque. People were excited to reach there for many reasons. As for us, we wanted to do the UPT. We arrived when Isya' was approaching. Everybody was excited to witness the maqam of Khalid al Walid. The mosque nazir urged me to perform my prayer fast as he wanted to lock the women section. I wondered why as it was not yet Isya'. Didn't the Syrian women perform Isya' in the mosque?? Then I understood. He wanted to lock the women section of maqam khalid al walid. He understood wrongly. I'm sure many people came there to pray before the maqam, but definitely not me. Abang urged me to perform my wudhu' fast while he held my handbag and waited outside the women's rest room.

I took my time to do the UPT (Obviously abang had forgotten about that then). To my surprise, it came out positive! I couldn't believe my two eyes, and I couldn't believe my urine. I was taking antibiotic at that time for UTI, and i thought probably the antibiotic residue produce a false positive result. It was a strip of paper, soaked in urine, and I wasn't sure how could I show it to abang. So I snapped few pics using my phone camera. The sound of the camera shutter was loud, and I was anxious that people might thought I took some pornographic pics in the toilet. After some 15 minutes, I disposed the strip in the dust bin of Khalid al Walid mosque, went out of the toilet, took my wudhu' and met abang. I smiled throughout, and that gave away the good news. Abang hugged me tight, saying Alhamdulillah repeatedly.

When we first arrived in Syria, abang told me to pray hard to get pregnant. He told me to read surah Maryam and Thoha. I asked why (my habit of questioning everything [REALLY EVERY SINGLE THING]) And he usually gives me stupid answer hehe and we always laugh together after that. So he said, "Ayang kenalah selalu baca surah Maryam and Thoha, sebab kalau kita dapat baby girl, kita boleh bg nama Maryam Suri. Kalau anak lelaki kita bagi Ameer Thoha." We laughed. That was one of the stupidest answer Abang could give to make me laugh hahaha. The Syrian people don't call Syria as Syria, but they call it Suria.

When we bought the UPT, abang jokingly said, "Kalau positive, kena bagi nama Ameer Khalid al Walid la, sebab kat Masjid Khalid Al Walid". I snorted. He kept giving me a list of unacceptable names.

Today is 9th June 2010, and it has been 5 days since my 1st Urine Pregnancy Test (on 5th June 2010). I am still not convinced that I'm a pregnant mommy. Not yet until I can see with my own eyes my baby on the ultrasound scan.

But as for now, 3 UPT tests were done in a row. And I suspect it is now 2 to 3 weeks old! Well a medical student if possible would like to diagnose her own pregnancy at 2 to 3 days old! Haha. Now I wonder how come the patients in the hospital some of them did not detect the pregnancy until it has reached 5 months old! That's weird.I have started taking supplement for pregnant mothers- Pregnacare. Alhamdulillah this is actually a very much wanted and planned pregnancy.

My heart is not spacious enough to be filled with gratitude. The pregnancy arrived when abang and me has started researching on IVF, Clomid and do the financial planning should we can't conceive naturally. The pregnancy arrived when we has started crying and hug each other whenever I feel some contraction pain which I thought was a premenstrual syndrome. The pregnancy arrived when we had chosen a date to undergo some fertility treatment. Subahanallah allahuakbar walillahilhamd.

I do my best to help abang with his study. We have two days left before the exam. Abang is really working hard. He didn't sleep last night. As for me, I'm a person who can't study during the last minutes before an exam. I accompany abang, but of course while I'm sleeping hehe. I also tire easily now, plus the nausea. Now I'm afraid of GTD (Gestational Trophoblastic Disease) for my nausea vomiting starts very early in the pregnancy. I could only hope for the best to rationalize the symptom- a twin pregnancy! Well that's the downside of being a medical student/ doctor. You tend to think of the worse that one can get. How can't I when I see all kind of cases in pregnant mommies ~sigh~

Abang bribed me- he bought me two snickers and I had to help him with his study. I guess that's fine with me, though after 20 minutes I fell asleep haha. May Allah gives us the best, May Allah eases our urusan.. ameen