I hate it when I'm nasty especially to abang. I really hate it when I can see the pain in his eyes to bear with me. I really hate it when I can't even control my own physical and emotional strength.. And due to that, currently I want to be far far far away from him until I'm all done with the pregnancy, just to avoid hurting him. Pregnancy is indeed a test. It tests my patience, abang's patience.. it tests our iman. It tests our relationship and how far we manage to sacrifice for each other..
I have improved a lot, really I have. But I still can't tolerate most food. My greatest achievement so far ehehe- I prepared nasi maglubah for abang and his friends yesterday.. but I couldn't eat it myself anyway. Abang minta aku suapkan, I said makan sendiri (jahatnye huuu) sebab I can't stand the smell. Abang kissed my cheek and I cried because his smell induced the nausea. Today I cook chicken curry with potatoes, it smells really tasty but when I tried to eat the chicken, i Just felt like vomiting so I eat the potato only. But when I'm sick, I cried to him, lapar pun ngadu kat abang jugak... moga baby dilindungi dari jadi mengada-ngada macam mommy huu
I'm really looking forward the days when I can laugh and smile with abang again, when I can stop frowning and snapping at people, when I can be cheeky with my baby, when I can treat abang as how he should be treated- like a king and make him happy... when I can enjoy all the wonderful things in life, when I can be a grateful and grateful servant of Him... may Allah help me go through this smoothly huuu