Yes? Oh yes, I'm in such a fragile mood. After the old folk home visit? Nope. Missing abang? Of course. Worried about something? Sure. Depressed? Of course not. Going home? InsyaAllah tomorrow! :p
Well, I mentioned once that I was eagerly waiting for something. I guess it won't be a secret anymore huu. It's abang's homecoming in 2 weeks time insyaAllah :)
I dedicate this song to abang (have been listening to it for quite some time but TODAY, it gives me a new meaning...). And today it moves me to tears.. the emotional me? Oh it's just me missing abang every now and then
Di daun yang ikut mengalir lembut
Terbawa sungai ke ujung mata
Dan aku mulai takut terbawa cinta
Menghirup rindu yang sesakkan dada
Jalanku hampa dan kusentuh dia
Terasa hangat oh didalam hati
Kupegang erat dan kuhalangi waktu
Tak urung jua kulihatnya pergi
Tak pernah kuragu dan slalu kuingat
Kerlingan matamu dan sentuhan hangat
Ku saat itu takut mencari makna
Tumbuhkan rasa yg sesakkan dada
Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja
Semua kutrima apa adanya
Mata terpejam dan hati menggumam
Di ruang rindu kita bertemu
Abang, everything about that song is true, except for the 'Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja' because I know pemergian abang adalah satu perjuangan yang kita saling merelakan, kepulangan abang adalah saat yg sangat3 dinantikan, dan antara dua itu, kita saling merindu..
I cracked jokes and laughed when I sent you back to Jordan for the first time after our marriage..
Would I be able to laugh for the second time?
I prevented myself from crying when you kissed me goodbye
Would I be able to do that again?
I keep teasing you now when I see you cry while webcaming or during phone calls
I wonder can I stay that calm after this?
I have (after trying very hard) adjusted and adapted to your absence
Would I be able to adjust following another separation?
And for all those reasons.. I'm worried of your homecoming because it will surely lead to the second separation. And yet I miss you unnegotiably, abang! Abang, be patient for another 1 1/2 year ok :) Surely you can do it!