this is my dumpster :D

Probably the Diabetes CPG was made and meant not to be read as a whole (by medical student huu) because after trying very vigorously, it seems like I still can get nowhere with it. Or is it just me??? Hmmm

6 more days to go.. and I'm praying hard for something wonderful to happen huhu. An approved application? Quite close..

I received a wonderful news yesterday. Somebody is getting married? aha!!! :D Selamat Pengantin Baru!

It's the second day of Ramadhan. And I have just received a warning from Abang hahaha. Just to practice Qishas, I presented him with a warning as well. Takut tak? Mesti abang cuak nih hehe. Nak drill your memorization, Abang!! :p

And I can't wait to go to the clinic. Isn't that superbly weird?? I think so huuuu...

By the way, membeli belahlah di gerai SRC/ MRC dekat CF Bro k! Ada jual kurma :)

Monolog Hati

Tak sampai sejam Ramadhan akan tiba.. Pastinya penantian yang mendebarkan tapi tetap jua tidak mampu bersabar.. sebagaimana berdebarnya aku menunggu kepulangan abang dan hati berharap cepat saja masa beralalu agar dapat terus kutiba di saat waktu itu…seindah pertemuan pertama selepas akad nikah insyaAllah

Sebentar sahaja lagi tarawih pertama akan diadakan. Niat di hati ingin menyertai tarawih di Masjid UIAM di KOM (Kuliyyah of Medicine). Sempatkah aku? Bunyi guruh sedari tadi mengacah2 perasaan. Mungkin terpaksa bertarawih di mahallah sahaja seandainya hujan turun.
Ramadhan meninggalkan banyak kenangan yang mengundang syahdu. Aku masih ingat, suatu waktu dahulu, aku dan asma berjaga pada malam ganjil dalam sepuluh malam terakhir. Bukan calang2 berjaga, malah berjaga sehingga ke waktu subuh. Pastinya misi mencari lailatul Qadr. Dengan masing2 ditemani sehelai kertas, tertulis atasnya senarai doa yg ingin kami pinta apabila bertemu lailatul Qadr. Tingkap bilik kami buka.. kerana ingin melihat pokok yang turun bersujud. Dan segelas air kami letakkan diatas meja, agar dapat kami sedari kehadiran Lailatul Qadr apabila air tersebut membeku. Apabila dikenang semua itu, pasti aku tergelak sendiri. Naif sungguh kami di waktu itu. Dan cetek pula ilmu tentang malam istimewa. Malam seribu bulan, bukan bermakna air akan membeku, bukan pula pokok akan bersujud semuanya, bukan langit menjadi cerah.. yang penting beramal, dan ganjarannya pasti tersedia!

Masih juga kuingat Ramadhan kami di rumah lama.. banjir teruk diwaktu itu. Aku yg tidur ditingkat atas pastinya enggan bersahur kerana tidak mahu meredah air banjir ditingkat bawah.. Dan setiap pagi, Ummi lah yang akan meletakkan nasi dan lauk didalam pinggan dan memberikan kepadaku yang duduk menanti di tangga.. Sungguh aku benar2 sepatutnya malu dengan Ummi! Dan kami berbuka puasa dalam keadaan rumah yang berlecah.

Suatu waktu dahulu, Ramadhan kutemui sewaktu menduduki SPM. Dan Ummi sangat risau aku berpuasa ketika menjawab peperiksaan. Sungguh Allah itu mengetahui hati bimbang seorang Ummi. Aku ditaqdirkan cuti berpuasa sehingga tamat peperiksaan. Dan setiap hari, Ummi pastinya akan bawa aku pulang kerumah untuk makan tengahari walaupun aku berkeras untuk menumpang solat zohor dirumah kawan berhampiran sekolah. Tersenyum aku mengenangkan semua itu.

Teringat juga suatu Ramadhan 3 tahun lalu.. ketika aku sangat buntu untuk membuat pilihan tatkala menerima lamaran seseorang.. sedangkan hati terpaut pada seorang akh lain dan aku tidak tahu apakah dia dapat menerimaku.. Masih kuingat tarikh itu 25 ramadhan ketika aku benar2 menangis dan berharap, dlm kegelapan aku mengemis simpati dariNya agar ditunjukkan jalan keluar.. sehinggalah seminggu kemudian aku mendapat SMS dari dia yang sangat kupuja, yang langsung melamar terus kepada ummi dan abah.. sungguh Allah selalu tidak mengabaikan hambanya.. sehingga kini Allah menghadiahkan dia kepadaku, menjadi suami yang sangat setia.. ahh pastilah aku insan yang paling bahagia. ALHAMDULILLAH untuk pemberian ini.

Masih kuingat ramadhan aku di Kuantan, sungguh aku sangat suka beriktikaf pada sepuluh malam terakhir di Masjid Negeri Kuantan. Memang pada dasarnya kami tidak dibenarkan untuk bermalam disitu, tetapi setelah kupujuk rayu kepada pak guard, dia mengizinkan juga tdengan syarat lampu besar tidak boleh dinyalakan.. dan kami dikunci dalam masjid. sungguh syahdu apabila bersendirian (meskipun ada beberapa akhawat lain) didalam rumah Allah yang sangat luas, begitu terasa kekerdilan seorang hamba. Pada tahun pertama, aku kesitu dengan menaiki kereta Pak Teh (prebet sapu). Pada tahun kedua, aku sudah memiliki kereta sendiri hadiah dari abah- Fiat Brava yang aku panggil Shika. Pada tahun ketiga, aku kesana menaiki Naza Suria juga pemberian abah yang aku panggil Shika Jr. Pada tahun keempat? Terpulang pada abang..

Teringat juga Ramadhan yang baru sahaja berlalu pergi, ketika posting pertama aku dlm tahun klinikal- mana mungkin aku lupa ketika aku berpuasa di Temerloh, sungguh memori yang sangat bermakna apabila kami selalu berbuka puasa di dalam bas untuk pulang ke Kuantan. Dan kami bertarawih di rumah, masak untuk berbuka.. terasa bagai baru sahaja ramadhan itu berlalu.. dan kini aku bakal bertemu ramadhan lagi..

Bagaimana pula dengan ramadhan kali ini? Ah tentulah ramadhan ini bakal menjadi ramadhan paling bermakna insyaAllah :) kerana ramadhan kali ini aku tidak bersendiri lagi, ramadhan kali ini aku berdua. Kalau dahulu setiap kali tibanya ramadhan dan setiap kali tibanya syawal, pasti aku tertunggu2 SMS dari tunangku, mesej formal yang mengucapkan Selamat Berpuasa dan Selamat Hari Raya. Tapi kini aku tidak sabar menunggu ucapan mesra dari kekasih yang sangat aku cintai, untuk mengucapkan selamat berpuasa!

Sayang, InsyaAllah lagi sejam bermula Ramadhan. Kesyahduan Ramadhan sudah sangat3 terasa.. Moga kita sama-sama memasuki Ramadhan dengan hati yang insaf, dan keluar darinya dengan diri yang jauh lebih bertaqwa.. Rapatkan dirimu dengan kalamNya, wahai HAAFIDZUL QURAN. Sungguh aku sangat bertuah dapat dicintai oleh hamba yang hatinya sangat mencintai Pencipta!
Ingatan mesra dari Zaujah Sayang

Pastinya aku akan menunggu ramadhan seterus2nya.. ketika kami tidak lagi berdua tapi ditemani buah hati, dari benih cinta tautan kasih antara aku dan abang. Ah tidak sabar untuk ku tunggu waktu itu

P/s aku suka panggil Sayang dengan gelaran Hafidzul Quran walaupun Sayang acapkali berendah diri menegaskan banyak hafazan yang dia tak mampu pegang.. Itu satu doa untukmu, Sayang. Agar kau lebih bersemangat untuk hafaz kembali bahagian dari Quran yang terlepas dari genggamanmu

Letto – Sejenak (untuk mengahrgai Ramadhan..)

sebelum waktumu terasa terburu
sebelum lelahmu menutup mata
adakah langkahmu terisi ambisi
apakah kalbumu terasa sunyi

luangkanlah sejenak detik dalam hidupmu
berikanlah rindumu pada denting waktu
luangkanlah sejenak detik dalam sibukmu
dan lihatlah warna kemesraan dan cinta

sebelum hidupmu terhalang nafasmu
sesudah nafsumu tak terbelenggu
indahnya membisu tandai yang berlalu
bahasa tubuhmu mengartikan rindu

luangkanlah sejenak detik dalam hidupmu
berikanlah rindumu pada denting waktu
luangkanlah sejenak detik dalam sibukmu
dan lihatlah warna kemesraan dan cinta

yang tlah semu.. yang telah semu

[WARNING: A wife's personal rambling]

[WARNING: This is a personal rambling]

I am still thinking of a dream which I had 2 days ago. it was abang's radix coco. Because I like crying so much, when Abang was around, he used to make a big cup of Radix Cocoa to 'pujuk' huhuu because he knew I like cocoa drink so much. Buat dalam cawan plastik oren yg besar with ices. And he would sprinkle some cocoa powder on top. Huu it was really delicious that I dream of it. Exactly the orange plastic cup, the ices and the sprinkled cocoa powder

At the clinic we were given the chance to clerk a patient with a history of domestic violence. If you think the patient is a woman, then you are definitely wrong. HE. A 20-something man who married a 20-something woman. The wife cheated on the husband and got pregnant, the husband was very depressed and tried to commit suicide.. it was a typical case anyway, but still... Something about the case, and someone comparing the case with our (abang and me) condition left me in such an unstable mood. I just can't explain what is it, it's neither anger nor sad, neither anxiety nor depression, it's just... unexplainable.. But 1 thing for sure, it makes me appreciate abang more and more, it makes me miss abang more and more and it makes me --- more and more.. Kerinduan yang amat sangat kat abang, wallahua'lam (He knows Best!!)...

What really touched my heart was when the Dr mention that one of his patient (a man who also had a similar marital problem) said, "How could she give my Right (haq) to other man???" Really it is extremely depressing, and I wonder, do I really and strictly take good care of Abang's haq as a my superb husband? For him only, and only for him?.. Continue crying.. Being a wife is definitely not as simple as ABC especially when you are not sure whether you have done your best to fulfill your husband's Haq. Of course not in our case, based on mutual consent :)

Well some people are wondering why am I being so open about our relationship. Simply because there's no such thing in the Islamic Syariat that says "Don't tell others about your marital relationship" (the only prohibited thing is to tell others your bedroom secret). Even Aisyah (ummul mukminin r.a) told Rasulullah about 9 wives who tell about the good things and bad things of their husbands' (without mentioning name) for the purpose of taking some ibrah. One has the option whether to read it or not but I will continue writing anyway huuu. As for me, I do something that is lawful, so why not? Well, probably because I think I had enough of premarital quarrels with abang haha (truthfully we launched World War before our marriage haha, Ummi je la yang tau and selalu jadi orang tengah huu. Bergaduh tak habis2 sebab nak bercinta dah tak boleh haha. I wrote more about us before marriage in abu-ameer.blogspot.com) so now is the time for revenge hehe.

I used to practise ghaddul basr (lowering of the gaze), but now that I have a handsome husband (semua husband pun handsome in their wives' eyes, don't worry :D), why shouldn't I find the satisfaction in studying his face? Ini baru la cuci mata yg sebenarnya, bukan cam org lelaki yg mata keranjang k, lagi merosakkan hati ade la. P/s seriously abang semakin handsome skrg sejak dia ada rambut mcm porcupine hehehe :p

I never touched an ajnabi man before, now that I have someone whom I can touch, why shouldn't I make myself happy in doing so? Pegang tangan 24 jam pun takpe :D

We never had the chance to act lovey-dovey to each other before, so now that we are able to do so, why not? Nak panggil sayang sejuta kali pun no problem

The issue is, whenever an unmarried couple appears publicly, showing love and affection to each other, nobody raise any question. It seems normal. When a married couple act all lovey-dovey, people start to give a weird stare- as if "Eh dah kawen pun gatal lagi?" APA SEMUA NI????

As for me, I really like it when Abang says, "HALAL!" :D Macam dapat kelulusan SIRIM plak hahaha

Abang yang handsome dgn rambut porcupine! Ni gambar abang waktu dia g buat lwtn ambil belajar kat farm kot.. bersempena subject yg dia amek Animal Health. Dah rindu tak dpt jumpa, tengok gambar pun ok la :D

I said: Abang, kambing tu comel laa

Abang said: Errkkk?? Sayang, itu keldai la!!!

I said: huuuu...... macam kambing je....

Iman sebesar cawan?

I hope there's nothing wrong with me brooding here AGAIN. Hey I haven't used today's dose by the way huu. Today is the worst so far I think. Nothing much except that I feel a bit uneasy when my private life is being discussed and pried into huhuuu. And it seems like I haven't learnt a thing throughout my 4 years of MBBS. No doubt the terrible feeling. Of course that's the case when a student choose to fall in love with another student. Suprisingly I have no regret with regards to the 'romance over knowledge' issue. Haha because I enjoy having abang soo much, no doubt :D Well, probably next tuesday promises a brighter day -sigh-

Ramadhan Ramadhan do come my way and bring along with you sakeenah and rahmah. At least let me experience the peaceful feeling that have long gone. Looking forward celebrating Ramadhan with abang.. And expand a bit (if possible) iman sebesar cawan.

Second pessimistic mumble of the day

Can I have the honour of complaining here again and again? Because my personal kaunter aduan is so faraway in Jordan huu, busy with his final exam. I am actually stuck with the case write-up, not having the slightest idea on how should I move forward -sigh- thus the redirection towards this virtual dumpster huhu. It's totally depressing when a patient doesn't even care of his own condition, and yet the doctors have to be the mommy, practically warning them to take medication n such. Haha now I know what did Ummi feels when I very frequently refused to take medication huhu. Speaking about compliance, I think I'm the worst patient ~sigh again~

A Family Medicine case write up is definitely much tougher than the clinical ones e.g surgery, IM. The main reason is because we have to explore in depth regarding social and psychological history, or in simpler words, a patient-centred approach rather than disease-centered approach. Of course when I have been trained for 1 solid year with disease-centred approach, currently in FM, the issue of empathy, digging and continue digging on abuse, issue of compliance and such seems like a very big, hard-to-handle deal. When a patient comes with persistent hypertension, you should suspect stress-related condition e.g family problem rather than...the patient doesn't even care about his/her BP thus the dumping of his/her antihypertensive tablets into the dustbin. When one see a purpura on the skin of a patient, one should suspect abuse rather than a fall or a senile purpura. When one sees a pregnant lady with poor spacing, one should suspect some degree of depression in the mother, blaming her husband for being so incosiderate and such. Sometimes thing doesn't reflect the real scenario. I really want to have my own baby but Abang is extremely worried because he won't be around to lend his helping hands. If I get pregnant, should he be blamed? I'm placing him in a tight situation and yet the society is being judgmental. The Doctors will be judgmental (Hehe abang jgn mare k :p) That was just a real time example. Ahh as a doctor, I have to learn to be a nosy person.

The problem with staying up late at night is one can't stop consuming some calories. I continue on from Pisang goreng to keropok lekor to Cocopie to Munchy oat cookies to biskut beras ahh it's and endless grievous list. The only thing that is retarded is the progression of my case write up. Ahh and thinking of my video recording tomorrow (we have to record a video while clerking a patient and show the video in the class during video session)..

I should b going back to my case report huuuu. Doing the countdown. Looking forward Abang's arrival :) Missing Abang like mad huu

Today's pessimism

I shouldn't feel too happy in view of my unfinished case write-up. And yet I'm thinking of starting the second one huu because I'm pretty sure I won't have time to do it when Athiq is around ~sigh~ a not so hectic life of Family Medicine nowadays but yet tiring.. I wonder why. How I hope Athiq will appear this instant right in front of me huu~ Another 9 days that of course are perceived as 9 years before his arrival, really I can't wait for that moment! May Allah be with us along the way..

Family Medicine isn't that bad. Especially when I have started to feel at ease roaming the KK Beserah compound plus lazing around and socializing with my group mates in the discussion room (uprolling my eyeballs. Huh, such a blissful life) Well, the scandal was there, yet I feel indifferent. I guess people can spit on my face and I can remain feeling indifferent huu. A very schizophrenic trait which I'm having- living in my own world haha (with my family of course).

Lately I enjoy the clinic posting so much. Especially when Dr Aznan takes the class. Why? Empowering. Because I feel that he gives us chances to handle patients, of course under his supervision. And I am currently feeling very excited to manipulate the Ultrasound machine hahaha (Ah-Long Dude, we definitely have an important mission before the posting ends!! :P)

And today Ah-Long Dude and me spent quality time in the Emergency Room, doing wound dressing (incompetently of course) and venepuncture. Of course my patient, a nenek who had diabetic foot 'berleter' throughout the procedure because she was not really confident in me hahaha, I just pretended that I was deaf. In this kind of thing where skill is needed, you won't get the skill if you don't practise. And in the process of acquiring the skill, of course many will complain. It is as if they are made to be 'guinea pig'. It's quite true in a sense. As if I have other options... (sigh again).

I am still brooding over the Ulu Tembeling riverine trip, especially when Abang will be in Kedah for 1 week while I face the river with fear, and phobia and anxiety huu that is so unfair :(. I am hoping for the impossible- for him to join the trip. What a pathetic childish wish.

Anyway, Good Luck Abang in your final exam :) Do your best! Happy Fasting everybody

This is the first entry REALLY3 MEANT FOR PUBLIC :D

I don't know how do I end up in the industry, but fact is I guess I am now a self-authorized dealers of abaya, jubah, blouses and tudung huu and huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. It's not my business actually (as I personally think that I should start a business with a different nature, namely.....) but I'm helping my stepmum to expand her business.. and since I like blogging so much, I think abah is trying to hint that I should at least do something profitable rather than mumbling aimlessly here haha, so I guess that's it. Do visit ummuameerboutique.blogspot.com (Yeah yeah I know I'm taking all the fame by putting my name 'Ummu Ameer's Boutique' haha, but hey I am the one who created the new blog geee so I guess there's nothing really wrong with that..) Nak tengok2 je pun boleh, kalau nak beli lagi bagus :D But I have to apologize before hand for the terrible photos, because
1. First, I don't have the wealth to hire a professional photographer
2. It wasn't me (who took the photograph) or else it would be worse
3. My sis took the photos in half an hour, and she had to cover racks and racks of jubah, she was so tired and I think she got a hypoglycaemic attack thus the tremor huhu
4. I was rushing to go back home from my stepmum's house because I had a virtual YM date with A'thiq so I urged Asma' to just take whatever pic that she could and get done with it.

Haven't uploaded many more, so keep checking it out k (the blog) :)

A love letter for Abang from his wife who is madly in love.

I should be reading the latest Diabetes CPG for the tutorial tomorrow.. and yet I can't stop myself from writing this..
Yes? Oh yes, I'm in such a fragile mood. After the old folk home visit? Nope. Missing abang? Of course. Worried about something? Sure. Depressed? Of course not. Going home? InsyaAllah tomorrow! :p
Well, I mentioned once that I was eagerly waiting for something. I guess it won't be a secret anymore huu. It's abang's homecoming in 2 weeks time insyaAllah :)

I dedicate this song to abang (have been listening to it for quite some time but TODAY, it gives me a new meaning...). And today it moves me to tears.. the emotional me? Oh it's just me missing abang every now and then

Di daun yang ikut mengalir lembut

Terbawa sungai ke ujung mata

Dan aku mulai takut terbawa cinta

Menghirup rindu yang sesakkan dada

Jalanku hampa dan kusentuh dia

Terasa hangat oh didalam hati

Kupegang erat dan kuhalangi waktu

Tak urung jua kulihatnya pergi

Tak pernah kuragu dan slalu kuingat

Kerlingan matamu dan sentuhan hangat

Ku saat itu takut mencari makna

Tumbuhkan rasa yg sesakkan dada

Chorus 2x:

Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja

Semua kutrima apa adanya

Mata terpejam dan hati menggumam

Di ruang rindu kita bertemu

Abang, everything about that song is true, except for the 'Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja' because I know pemergian abang adalah satu perjuangan yang kita saling merelakan, kepulangan abang adalah saat yg sangat3 dinantikan, dan antara dua itu, kita saling merindu..

I cracked jokes and laughed when I sent you back to Jordan for the first time after our marriage..
Would I be able to laugh for the second time?
I prevented myself from crying when you kissed me goodbye
Would I be able to do that again?
I keep teasing you now when I see you cry while webcaming or during phone calls
I wonder can I stay that calm after this?
I have (after trying very hard) adjusted and adapted to your absence
Would I be able to adjust following another separation?

And for all those reasons.. I'm worried of your homecoming because it will surely lead to the second separation. And yet I miss you unnegotiably, abang! Abang, be patient for another 1 1/2 year ok :) Surely you can do it!

Photos Photos Photos. Just Photos

I want to delete these photos from Lavender-kun's memory.. thus the uploading activity :D

A Family Medicine trip to an old folk charity institution today taught me a lot regarding old folks, or more specific: abandoned old folks. We started our journey to Al Muktafi Billah Shah (AMBS) town (That was the first time I listened to such~~~ name. Never knew before that the town existed huhuuu) at 7.20am, arrived there at around 9.30am, after having our breakfast at the nearby stall. We were given a briefing about the place before we went to the wards. There were 4 wards in total. And my experience upon entering the first ward? My feeling? Everyhting was so pitiful. I was wondering how could the family just abandon them?... Memang sedih bila masuk ward ni...

Next we went to a ward which was much much much better than the first (becuase the residents were mostly sociable :) and well groomed). We picked cases and clerked. To be truthful I think I chit chatted with the nenek rather than clerking her huhu. A 71 year old widow with no children (takde rezqi anak).. she was very appreciative of our visit which made me feel so happy. But of course what she hid behind that happiness.. Wallahua'lam. And I knew some cases whereby the children sent them and never come back.. We were lectured on birrul walidain (by the nenek), that one shouldn't forget the parents no matter what. I am sure I learnt much more on humanity compared to clinical medicine.. alhamdulillah a tazkirah for those who are destined to be busy in the near future :) After that we followed Dr Aznan, looking at referred cases, it was a very joyful experience (haha only those who followed know the reason behind it ). At around 1.45pm we headed back. On the way back, they managed to persuade pak cik driver to stop at a very gigantic tasik. Tasik puteri or besi or somthing that sounds similar to that huu. Me? Of course I refused to even leave the bus so I took a nap instead on the bus hehe. Reason? My family definitely knows why :p Well the lake was so big, and it didn't appear that safe huuu.

Some of the students walking towards the wards

Well, what else do we do in Family Medicine Posting??

Going to KK of course!! Evidenced by this picture:

A stall located few hundred metres from KK Balok :p Enjoying the ABC and keropok lekor huh?? Hehe

This was when I joined Papisma Medical Check-up 3 weeks ago if I'm not mistaken.. in Rompin

In the car on the way to Rompin.

This was where the medical checkup activity took place.

Melancholic Mood. Now it's the baby talk

I can't decide whether I enjoy Family Medicine or not. I guess it isn't as hectic as Ortho (because I understand that Ortho students are undergoing an unimaginable torture haha), but still relaxation isn't equal to joy. Sometimes I think I kinda miss paying a visit to HTAA huhuu.
KK Beserah isn't that bad by the way in view of the fact that we mingled with urine(S) for the whole half day today, practically helping the lab stuff doing UFEME, dipstix test n such. And I for the first time poked the vein of Ah-Long Dude!! Haha, while she poked mine as well, and feeling at home and soo at ease utilizing the FBC machine, analyzing our own blood sample. Hahaha what can be more exciting?

By the way the negative feeling due to my extremely lousy seminar presentation yesterday persists. An undelicious aftertaste that lingers yuckk. Well as usual its the failure of preparation issue. It was on Erectile Dysfunction (yup it was obscene, and I enjoyed it to the most!!). I guess that was the main reason I kept procrastinating in preparing the slides until the day of the presentation. The stuff was a bit unfavourable huhu. The nauseous experience which forced me to adopt a sitting sleeping position wasn't supporting me at all. Never mind, at least i'm done with the seminar, Alhamdulillah :)

Well, the fact that one of my lecturer has a 'fixed false belief or make-belief' that I'm pregnant, is getting on my nerve nowadays huu. And I had to make a sheepish remark in the lecture hall that I'm not a pregnant lady huu. And I'm not susceptible to serious H1N1 illness insyaAllah. Why me? Why not Wani? Why???? Although at times (or more truthful, 'most of the time') I am hoping that it is true huu and I can't counter the depression of getting repeated negative UPT result.. The Dr kept saying that whenever a woman come to you with depression, the diagnosis is Pregnancy haha. That's absurd! Well, what's the point of getting married if you don't want to become a parent, isn't it? -Sigh- Another little talk with another lecturer today, pertaining to the issue of parenting kind of lit up my hope a bit.. just a bit.. because he asked me regarding my plan to have a baby and made it sound like "What's the problem of having a baby? No problemo" And for that little hope which I am trying to cling on to.. ahh it produces chest tightness which is unbearable.. maybe I should just forget about the issue.

Ahh I'm eagerly waiting for something to happen.......... :) Definitely not the Ulu Tembeling Riverine Trip!!!!! Can I escape that trip? huuu

Cheap offer. Of course it's cheap because it's an OFFER!!

I am stealing this opportunity to write something, because I know 1 or 2 people are anxiously waiting for some kind of evolution/ new stock to appear on this page huu. It's now 10:46am, WEDNESDAY. Hey it's the office hour of a working day! and here I am blogging. Today is my 3rd day of Family Medicine posting, obviously I should be in KK Beserah (where I am posted for 5 weeks).

For the past few days, since the last time I put up the last post, I've been dying to jot down some titbits. For example, how was the Nasyeed Concert? Oh it was great, I spent the night in bed with high temperature (I didn't attend it actually because I had fever, so 4 tickects down the bin. I guess it was A'thiq's doa hehe as he was very reluctant to let me go for some reason which I am going to tell immediately after this haha)

His reason was "Memanglah itu konsert nasyid, tp still CONCERT. Abang risau nanti ada percampuran lelaki perempuan. Abang risau, kalaulah ayang pergi tempat camtu, and ditaqdirkan meninggal kat situ.. macam meninggal dunia dlm keadaan tak mulia (kemaksiatan??)" Huu abang...!!!! Abang, your wish was granted by Allah the Almighty! :)

And almost the whole family was down with ILI (Influenza Like Illness) during the weekend. Please be patient everybody, especially Ummi and Abah who had very high temperature. I have just recently recovered from tonsillitis and ILI, but became infected by the virus again arghhh. This time around cough was more prominent. I think I disturbed the whole class with my cough (huuuuu). 

However after I arrived in UIA from home last Sunday, new symptoms started to show up. I woke up during the night with extreme nausea and throw up till almost Subuh. Plus diarrhea. Its neither anorexia nervosa nor bullimia because I'm still feeling serene for maintaining my pre-marriage body weight. Having initially thought it was due to the feverish body, I assumed I needed to report to the clinic the next day, but then the the fever subsided except for few fluctuating temperatures. But the puking occasion continued. Well, my roomates who were awaken up during the extremely early morning by the unmusical sound of vomiting started to wonder I guess whether I am pregnant. Truthfully I start to wonder myself (plus the worry) whether I am really... you know haha. Especially when I started to feel nausea during clinic hours.

Oh common medical student, don't be ridiculous haha. I am finally relieved when I realized that I have not been taking Cimetidine for a long time. No wonder of the nausea, vomiting, diarrhea and abdominal pain. I thought the gastritis has long resolved. A visit to UIAM clinic today presented me with a prescription of Losec (Omeprazole) Haha I guess that would be my slimming pill for the time being. Plus MC (Medical Certificate). 

Truthfully the Dr was quite surprise when I told her my chief complaint was 'sakit perut'. 

Dr: Maryam, awak datang bukan sebab batuk, selesema, demam ke???? (Haha I guess nowadays everybody come with the chief complain of cough, flu and fever)

Me: No.

Dr: Awak takde symptom tu ke?

Me: Ada. Dah lama. Tp itu tak penting, Dr.

Dr: Tak penting???? Habis apa yg penting??

Me: Sakit perut ni yg penting (I even carried the plastic bag from K.Ana's cafe, because I felt like throwing up all the time huuu)

Then I was given a lecture that should I have the symptoms of ILI, I should go to the clinic and take a week break. I was persuaded to take a 1 week break, JUST BECAUSE I HAVE COUGH!! Huu demam pun dah takde.. Of course I won't feel happy when I think of my 1 week MC while my colleagues (especially Ah-Long Dude) are vigorusly filling up their logbooks at the clinic!!!

Me: Dr, susahlah kalau cuti seminggu. Saya banyak lecture, nak penuhkan logbook lagi etc..

Dr: Sebabtula tak baik2 awak ni, because you refuse to take a rest. Just take a week break, don't think of classes. Ini arahan Dean, Prof Fauzi ni..

Me: Aaaa????

I was even told to do a Chest X Ray should the cough continue for 1 month. Now I am suspected of having TB??? Huuu definitely no TB workout for me!! I meet people with URTI symptoms everyday- in the class, at the toilet, in my own hostel room, in my own house, in the clinic, in the cafe.. basically everywhere! No wonder of the prolonged and relapsing cough and flu huu. 

And finally the nurse asked for my confirmation for so many times, "Maryam betul ke MC awak ni satu hari je? Skrg kita tgh OFFER ni.." Huh? Is there such thing?- Offer of MC! And now I feel happy with only 1 day MC :p Such over-propagated pandemic of H1N1~ H1N1 is realbut don't be too everwhelmed k :)