I'm experiencing poverty of thoughts, truly! Is there any external force who has just taken away my mind? This is definitely not good.
I guess being a wife has some of its adverse effects- cognitive degradation for example (for some type of wives huhu including me I think). What to say, I have earlier jot somewhere in this blog about succumbing to the wifey disease. The reason of this specific article writing is to say "Hye Abang! ^_^" whom I know visits this blog for Allah-knows-how-many-thousands-of-times in a day, but is usually met with depression when I don't update (which is the usual case nowadays). Haha abang, that is so you!! (said while imagining muka tegang Abang bila tengah stress. I can always laugh when I imagine your stressful face which i personally think is quite cute actually :p)
To those who are about to experience toxicity out of romance overdose which sources from this page, please take heed of my sincere medical advice: Don't visit this page for the immediate few months haha.
Actually yesterday I wanted to write on something, in relation to an extremely wonderful Quote which I have just read, but the internet wasn't very cooperative so I had to depressingly cancel the intention. However, I still think I can share the Quote now...
Had it been a near gain (booty in front of them) and an easy journey, they would have followed you, but the distance (Tabuk expedition) was long for them, and they would swear by Allâh, "If we only could, we would certainly have come forth with you." They destroy their ownselves, and Allâh knows that they are liars
Kalau yang kamu serukan kepada mereka itu keuntungan yang mudah
diperoleh dan perjalanan yang tidak seberapa jauh, pastilah
mereka mengikutimu, tetapi tempat yang dituju itu amat jauh
terasa oleh mereka. Mereka akan bersumpah dengan (nama) Allah:
"Jikalau kami sanggup tentulah kami berangkat bersama-samamu." Mereka
membinasakan diri mereka sendiri dan Allah mengetahui bahwa
sesungguhnya mereka benar-benar orang-orang yang berdusta.
Based on a kuliyyah which I had the chance of collecting some hikmah from it..
Whenever the word Rejab is being mentioned, automatically we'll think about Isra' Mikraj. The often-forgotten history is regarding Perang Tabuk which also took place in Rejab. I have no intention to elaborate more on this war now (because I am too lazy to continue typing), well you can read in the Quran, Surah Taubah.. but I was really hooked to the specific verse which I have pasted above..
It kinda ring a bell in mind, or like a pebble, with a throw, manages to disturb the water in a pond, creating concentric patterns which I hope will stay longer and not disappear so fast.. (because inzar or a reminder is something which we should very hurrily grab. It doesn't stay long).. only then I re-realized that we have such a long journey to go, as a human, as a muslim, as a servant, as a vicegerent, as a.....
The correct words are "Carried Away". Well sometimes after marriage, I tend to ponder why did we (or precisely: I. haha because I think I was the one who urged A'thiq to marry me asap :p) insisted very vigorously on a marriage. I can still vaguely recall something that resolved around- jaga muamalat, jaga iman, jaga hafazan, jaga kesucian keturunan, to help each other to be a better muslim and muslimah, semakin rajin bangun tahajjud sebab qiamullail sama2 kan, semakin rajin baca quran and iadah sama2, semakin bersemangat to get involved in islamic activities and programmes etc. The 'takkan org gerakan islami pun bercinta jugak?' sorts of things. Well, I am absolutely sure those who are currently bericnta anta anti nih very actively use these reasons hahahaha.
AFTER MARRIAGE, I am trying very hard to determine how many percents of the alasan that we had used to get the permission to get married, are actually being CARRIED OUT? When I am sure I actually get CARRIED AWAY.. (luckily I have someone who keep reminding me)
Let us muhasabah,
1. Qiamullail makin mantap ke? Ehemm especially when your spouse hug you through the night, I am sure that is much tougher to combat compared to the Shaytan's handcuff or ikatan or whatsoever
2. Quran: semakin banyak baca ke? Wellll.... I am sure baca 2 tiga ayat je, itupun if sempat. You know bersembang sambil saling mengenali between husband and wife secara lebih mendalam pun ibadah jugak hehe
3. Mosque: how frequent would your visit be? Because.... bila abang kata "Abang pergi solat kat masjid ye" then the wife starts to make a sad face, "Abang solat kat rumah pun, berjamaah jugak. Kalau abang pergi masjid, nanti saya solat sendiri" Huu that is tough
4. Attending programmes: "Err saya tak dpt dtg la, sebab suami saya ada rumah, tak manis pulak saya sebagai isteri keluar merata-rata" or "Maf la ana tak dpt dtg program hari ni, zaujah ana tak berapa sihat"
5... Well I can continue up to let say... 100? Huhuuu
I am writing this to remind MYSELF especially, that my journey is a long one.. And I have a very long way to go. Abang pun macam tu jugak.
Okay, after the lengthy luahan perasaan, especially to Abang (and to those who want to take some ibrah/ pengajaran), gelaran seorang Hamba Allah adalah gelaran yang sangat berat, because it depicts a long journey to be traversed. And here in this world, NOTHING can be called a destination. This is the beginning, thus make a good headstart, then definitely you won't regret when 1 day you finally arrive at the true ending. And yet, the ending, is also a beginning to an life of forever (akhirah). Perkahwinan pun bukan suka2, sebab ada tanggungjawab berat that one has to carry..........
Suddenly I am reminded of something, after our marriage.. 1 day A'thiq said to me "Murahnya abang beli ayang ni. RM80 je" I said, "Prostitute pun lg mahal kalau diukur dengan nilaian wang. Tp abang beli amanah (means myself) ni dengan bayaran tanggungjawab yang sgt besar" He nodded and kept quiet. In those few silent moments, I was touched. Everything about Islam is beautiful. Nampak murah dgn nilaian material, tapi sbnrnya mahal dengan ukuran tanggungjawab. Nampak sukar untuk ditempuhi ujian, tapi sbnrnya dah dibekalkan kekuatan dlm jiwa untuk menghadapinya. Nampak panjang dan jauh perjalanan, tapi sebenarnya Allah tidak membiarkan kita sesat dan lelah sendiri.. Al-Quran dan as-Sunnah sentiasa ada sbg panduan.
Well, actually abang ada program malam ni, dah start terasa sunyi. Apa ni??? Kata je nak jadi isteri seorang mujahid...