You Make Me Feel Brand New

Current song: You Make Me Feel Brand New by Simply Red (because it reminds me of my much-missed Umar), but allow me to dedicate this sound to my dearest Ummi and Abah

My love, I'll never find the words, my love
To tell you how I feel, my love
Mere words, could not, explain
Precious love, you held my life within your hands
Created everything I am
Taught me how to live again

Only you, cared when I needed a friend
Believed in me through thick and thin
This song is for you, filled with gratitude and love…

Chorus:
God bless you, you make me feel brand new
For God blessed me with you
You make me feel brand new
I sing this song cause you……make me feel brand new

My love, whenever I was insecure
You filled me up and made me sure
You gave, my pride, back to me
Precious friend, with you I'll always have a friend
You're someone who I can depend
To walk a path that sometimes bends

Without you, life has no meaning or rhyme
Like notes to a song out of time
How can I repay, you for having faith in me. . . . .

Chorus:
God bless you, you make me feel brand new
For God blessed me with you
You make me feel brand new
I sing this song for you. . . .

1 hour and 44 minutes before I ride the university bus to Temerloh. Temerloh again??! That is at least better than wasting my tears and cry my heart out within the 4 walls that bound my cubicle, 
inquiring myself how sure I am that I want to do medicine?
Ah I just don't know because even if I want to walk out, I just can't see any opening or exit. For I have just realized that this is not the kind of life that I want astaghfirullah.. I am stuck.. Ya Allah give me strength to just move on.. To contribute to the Muslim Ummah in anyway I am capable of, be it small but at least I have something to offer.. Give me strength o The Almighty, O King of kings..
I was introduced to a new concept, when Dr Emad asked, "Doing medicine, is it Fardhu Kifayah or Fardhu Ain?" The answer is Fardhu Kifayah when we haven't entered medical school, but it is Fadhu Ain once we have been admitted to medical school. We are expected to graduate, and help the Muslim Ummah. This is not even a sacrifice, it is a kewajipan. I am doing the least that I can do, and still I feel it is very burdensome. That reflects the level of my faith. My faith in this short worldly life, my faith in 
the everlasting hereafter.. my faith in what Allah has promised to those who do jihad.. How very scanty.. Astaghfirullah..