I can't explain the guilt

I can't explain the guilt..when I look at the stat counter. I just can't explain the guilt when I realize that this blog has been visited. I just can't explain it huu

To anybody who is reading this blog.. please, Please and PLEASE don't waste your time here huu. I'm not writing anything beneficial anyway. I am rumbling aimlessly here, probably trying to sort out my hectic life, or smothen my jumbled-up experience, or soothen my roller coaster emotion.. I need some space to be my own self huu. Suddenly I regret announcing the address in my friendster.. and if you don't mind just forget about its existence k.. coz whenever you read this.. I just can't explain the guilt..


reader said...


I did read your blog today (I branched off from another blog of my friend), I hope I'm not blamed for visiting since you said no one should visit it. Huhu! Anyway, I liked some entries and I can identify with them.


Ummu Ameer said...

huhu..=P up to you. anyway, what is meant by " identify with them"..?

reader said...

"Identify with them"?

I mean I'm be in the same position, situation or state as you may be in relation to certain times or certain situations, or I may be feeling the same, doing the same or facing the same problems, hopes and aspirations. So, that's what I meany by "identify with them."

Secondly, a question for a question, and I hope I'm not offending you. If you feel so, I'm very sorry and I tender an apology in advance. Does the tag Ummuameer suggest that you would name your child (son) as Ameer, that's if God blesses you with a son (child) knowing that a parent (in the Arabic tradition of course) takes the name of his/her first child. So in your case, if you bear a son as your first child, that would be Ameer. So, you will be called Ummuameer. But what would happen if it is a daughter, would the tagline/nickname change? Hehe! Anyway, even if the intended child doesn't come first, still an exception is given and the parent can be called by his/chose name, say, your 1st child is a girl, second a boy, you can be Ummuammer still. Or Ameer can die (God forbid), the 2nd child's name would have to be used like UmmuKhalid, (etc), or the Ameer tagline can be still retained as a remembrance of the departed child. That's how I know it, I may be wrong though.

Ummu Ameer said...

Not an offence dear Reader, As far as i know you are right =) and yes, the kunyah Ummu Ameer hints to the reader that i aspire to name my first son as Ameer =) Not necessarily my first son would be my first child right..? But i am not so sure regarding the second name used should the child die. Rasulullah used the name Abul Qasim, and even after his son died, he still used the name Abul Qasim.. am i right?

reader said...

You are right regarding the retention of the kunyah even if the 1st child dies as the Holy Prophet (pbuh) retained his kunyah too. But notice that it is not the tradition always but an exception. And in any case, the Prophet (pbuh) didn't have many sons (other sons) apart from Qasim and Ibrahim who both died for him to take another kunyah. That's why he lost both his sons, the Arab pagans said Muhammad (pbuh) has become an Abtar (A man who has no posterity. I.e sons) and then Allah s.w revealed Surah Al-Kauthar in which Allah the Almighty said:

"Surely your enemy is the one who shall be without posterity." (108: 03)

The other exception this kunyah concept has is that a man/woman may be blessed with daughters first before having sons, however when the mother/father get a son(s), they take the son's name. In your case, you are blessed with one or two daughters before you get a son, then you take the abuammer kunyah. But that has created some rambles as women today complain that it is sexist and ignores girls.

The other exception this concept has is that you may take a kunyah that has no bearing on your children or the ones you have. In other words, you can call yourself Ummuammer though you may never have a son called Ameer or you may never even get a son. (Insya' Allah you will have them). An example is like the late Palestinian President Yasser Arafat who popularly carried the kunyah Abu-Ammar though he had a son. He had only one daughter but he was always referred to as a Abu-Ammar. It indicates a desire for a child not born that should have been named Ammar.

Concerning the kunyah of the Holy Prophet (pbuh), no one is allowed to carry it. In other words, we can take the name Muhammad but not Abal-Qasim as indicated by the following Hadith.

This Hadîth has a story behind it. It is related in Sahîh Muslim from Anas b. Mâlik that in the graveyard of Madinah known as al-Baqî`, a man called out to another man by the kunyah Abû al-Qâsim. Because of this, Allah's Messenger (pbuh) turned around and looked at him. The man said: “O Messenger of Allah! I did not mean you. I was calling so-and-so.”

Allah's Messenger (peace be upon him) said: “Use my name when naming yourselves but do not use my kunyah as a kunyah for yourselves.” (Sahîh Muslim)

That's why Muslim men across all nations carry the glorious name of the Prophet (pbuh) but you will never hear a Muslim man/father nicknamed Abal-Qasim. I hope I shed light on this concept and may God bless us all. Allahuma Amin.

reader said...


1. While talking about Yasser Arafat, I said he had a son which is not correct. He didn't have a son at all. I left the word "NOT" when writing that part.

2. I should have written "When" rather than "why" when talking about the Prophet (pbuh) losing his sons.

3. Referring to you, I wrote "abuammer", it should be Ummuammer.

Additional Information

The name can be given as a nickname though it may have no relation with children. It may be given because of something that is unique to that person, such as Abu Hurayrah (lit. father of the kitten). The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave him this nickname because he would often carry a cat or kitten with him. Another example is the nickname Abu Turaab (father of dust) which was the kunyah of ‘Ali (may Allaah be pleased with him). Some say the Prophet (pbuh) gave him this nickname when he saw him with dust on his back and shoulders. Others say it is because of his verocity in wars and raising dust against the enemy. That's why there is the saying: Islam was saved through the generosity of Khadija and the sword of Ali.

You can also carry it though you have no son/daughter named the kunyah you carry, like Abu-Bakr. Abu-Bakr didn't have a son named Bakri. In this case, it was just a nickname because his children's names were: Among his children were: ‘Abd-Allaah, ‘Abd al-Rahmaan, Muhammad, ‘Aa’ishah, Asmaa’ and Umm kalthoom. It is well known that Abu Bakr’s real name was ‘Abd-Allaah. Although it was reported that his name was ‘Ateeq, the correct view is that this was one of his attributes (‘Ateeq = freed, i.e., from the Fire). (Al-‘Istee’aab by Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr, 8/963; al-Isaabah, 4/170-171).

So there you go. It is quite an interesting concept that's popular in certain Arab communities/countries (Gulf in particular) and other non-Arab Muslim societies like the Malays.

To prolong the debate which I find quite useful as we learn much more than we know, (I hope that's it), why did you settle for the name Ameer.

1. Do you want him to be a political leader (Ameer [Amir] in Arabic).

2. An exceptionally good child who is Ameer in his education, religiosity and manners?

3. Or you simply liked it? Or heard it from others? Or....



ummu ameer said...

Both no 1 and 2. ameer in everything good.. ameer of the muslim ummah insyaAllah =)