Immensely mundane complain

The worst mood I can ever imagine.. if suddenly I get a phone call from the university office asking me, "Maryam, do you want to postpone your study? We are ready to grant your wish" I won't be needing another second to make a decision. yep, that is what i am seriously thinking right now.. to extend my study.. awful and awful. Professional exam is just around the corner, and I can't feel the aura.. worse is most of the times I think I don't want to care, the only thing I want is for May to arrive and hey presto! Off to be with abang for good huhuu.

Sape yang paling kesian? Abang. Why? Because I nag and complain and cry to him every single day. Batul, it's NEW YEAR!!! He's having his hectic specialized 2-week postings and I guess that adds up to the burden haissy. Plus, he's busy during the weekend... kesian abang and yet I can't control myself.. Abang told me that he used to be a bad tempered person before marriage, but he claimed to be a different person now that he's a husband... No wonder about that... because he get such an annoying cry baby wife huu. Yes he rarely (extremely rare) raises up his voice.. but I feel guilty (padan muka diri sendiri) :( When I think of going to his place, I want him to be around all the time.. I don't even want him to attend class huu. Nak jadi possessive macamane lagi??? Well, i think that's quite true, when I was around, abang went out to play at midnight, after I've fallen asleep. Speaking of being left alone, i even cried when he went to the mosque huuu. Absurd~ Tapi kena tinggal lama kat malaysia boleh pulak? not left with any other option I guess. Oh God, he's going to be a houseman after all!!! Why and why and why do i behave this way?? [fatrah geram dengan diri sendiri]

I have to ask baby Ameer, nanti nak duduk kat jordan tak?? :p Tapi kalau daddy busy, kita tinggal berdua je la huhuu

InsyaAllah I'll be moving out soon. I think staying in the hostel gives me a not-so-good environment.. less opportunity to have life, PLUS more time to whine, and the pathologic internet connection which means more opportunity to disturb abang huhuu. And seriously thinking of starting baking again, as if I don't have enough things in my hands... until before the baby arrives insyaAllah. Probably encouraged by the cafe owner who keeps asking me when will I send my cakes...sehinggalah naik segan nak beli kat cafe dia huu. And because I can't think of better things to do... and yet the exam is around the corner! Well, if you have been dragging your whole body to complete the whole medic affair for the past 5 years, another 5 months do feel like 5o years.. :(

They'll be flying to Sarawak (and i miss another wedding) this weekend,
And abang will sit for his Anaes exam tomorrow.. may Allah help you, abang..
And another hectic weekend for him..
Guess I'm head over heel in love with you abang, so i'll be missing you much!
And I am for uncountable times, stuck here....


Anonymous said...


maryam, u dont know me but i'm kinda like your silent reader :). be strong ok? look at the bright side, at least you are married n have a wonderful husband tht you can always share your feelings to, your ups and down...for me, i'm not lucky as you...trying really hard wanting to get married during studies but only to be turned down by not understanding people, having to wait for years n still, be strong...u have so much in front of you...and you are very lucky :)

Ummu Ameer said...

thank you anonymous :) a husband to share my never-ending downs hehe, that poor man! be strong also! i'm sure you have so much to look forward to, at least a wedding to be enjoyed :D

Anonymous said...

come on! stop whining..x kesian ke kat husband? u need to be strong..da nak jadi mak orang pun..coz u are lucky enough to have a husband..kalau org tu janda,she doesn't have husband to nag kan?hope u can think straight..sorry for being harsh..

Ummu Ameer said...

erkkk?? oooppsss sorry :D it's habit i guess :p

Farah Dina said...

Salam kak Maryam.

I should have another a year + few days more to complete my study by the end of 2012, yet I've extended it to be 2 years till 2013 cause I need to follow my husband, be back to Malaysia for a year. On my single days, I think I was lucky to finish my study earlier than some others do, but now not anymore.

You're the lucky one to have another few months to go to complete it. Sangat sayang kalau nak extend. Just wait, the day will come. I am waiting for a year to pass me quickly from last April (eagerly waiting to study again), now the waiting is much more precious cause my baby will be born around march. Dah tak rasa rugi sangat extend berbanding masa mula-mula dulu.

Sacrifices need us to think many times. Your Ameer is a lucky baby, when he born he'll see his mommy as an 'in few months time doctor to be'. Me, my baby need to wait another 2 years!

Ameer pun mesti tak sabar nak mommy dia habiskan beberapa bulan tu, complete study, nak pergi duk Jordan with his daddy. The same way my baby does when being seduce with the life in London next. We're carrying excited babies indeed!

Ummu Iffah said...

salam kak..
jgn extend yer...
rezeki anak iallah akan mudahkan tiap urusan kite..
ayah sy cakap, pertolongan Allah tu bukan semestinya bermksud Allah selesaikn tiap kesushn kite...
tp, paling bsr adlh Allah bg kite ksabaran..
sbb tu org mukmin yg dibntu Allah, hatinya tenang dgn kesabaran dlm dugaan..

ameer pasti jd tabah dwsa nnti berkat ktabahan mummy dia.ameen

Anonymous said...

Salam Maryam..
Semoga Maryam tabah dalam menjalani hidup sebagai marriage student dan berjauhan dgn suami..
Kamu sangat2 bersyukur Maryam kerana dianugerahkan suami yang beriman yg baik yg sgt2 memahami dan menerima segala2nya..hidup kamu sgt bertuah..
Maryam, kamu seorang bijaksana dalam pelajaran..sayang sangat kalau extend study..
Suatu ketika dulu betapa ramai excellent student berebut2 untuk mendapat tempat belajar Medicine..Alhamdulillah Allah menempatkan kamu dlm bidang ini dan masih kekal lagi sehingga ke tahap ini
Anak kamu yang bakal lahir nanti pasti mewarisi gen cerdik kamu berdua..
Anak kamu sememangnya bertuah kerana mampunyai mummy and daddy seperti kamu berdua
Teruskan usaha menuntut ilmu..jadikan anak dalam kandungan sebagai suatu inspirasi dan suami yang berjauhan sebagai satu aspirasi
Jgn sesekali mengalah dgn ujian..
May Allah bless U and ur baby

-ur silent reader-an anoynimous-
really love n enjoy read ur story ur life..kehidupan maryam lebih baik dari saya..