The worst mood I can ever imagine.. if suddenly I get a phone call from the university office asking me, "Maryam, do you want to postpone your study? We are ready to grant your wish" I won't be needing another second to make a decision. yep, that is what i am seriously thinking right now.. to extend my study.. awful and awful. Professional exam is just around the corner, and I can't feel the aura.. worse is most of the times I think I don't want to care, the only thing I want is for May to arrive and hey presto! Off to be with abang for good huhuu.
Sape yang paling kesian? Abang. Why? Because I nag and complain and cry to him every single day. Batul, it's NEW YEAR!!! He's having his hectic specialized 2-week postings and I guess that adds up to the burden haissy. Plus, he's busy during the weekend... kesian abang and yet I can't control myself.. Abang told me that he used to be a bad tempered person before marriage, but he claimed to be a different person now that he's a husband... No wonder about that... because he get such an annoying cry baby wife huu. Yes he rarely (extremely rare) raises up his voice.. but I feel guilty (padan muka diri sendiri) :( When I think of going to his place, I want him to be around all the time.. I don't even want him to attend class huu. Nak jadi possessive macamane lagi??? Well, i think that's quite true, when I was around, abang went out to play at midnight, after I've fallen asleep. Speaking of being left alone, i even cried when he went to the mosque huuu. Absurd~ Tapi kena tinggal lama kat malaysia boleh pulak? not left with any other option I guess. Oh God, he's going to be a houseman after all!!! Why and why and why do i behave this way?? [fatrah geram dengan diri sendiri]
I have to ask baby Ameer, nanti nak duduk kat jordan tak?? :p Tapi kalau daddy busy, kita tinggal berdua je la huhuu
InsyaAllah I'll be moving out soon. I think staying in the hostel gives me a not-so-good environment.. less opportunity to have life, PLUS more time to whine, and the pathologic internet connection which means more opportunity to disturb abang huhuu. And seriously thinking of starting baking again, as if I don't have enough things in my hands... until before the baby arrives insyaAllah. Probably encouraged by the cafe owner who keeps asking me when will I send my cakes...sehinggalah naik segan nak beli kat cafe dia huu. And because I can't think of better things to do... and yet the exam is around the corner! Well, if you have been dragging your whole body to complete the whole medic affair for the past 5 years, another 5 months do feel like 5o years.. :(
They'll be flying to Sarawak (and i miss another wedding) this weekend,
And abang will sit for his Anaes exam tomorrow.. may Allah help you, abang..
And another hectic weekend for him..
Guess I'm head over heel in love with you abang, so i'll be missing you much!
And I am for uncountable times, stuck here....
Anakanda ke-5 , Uzair
3 months ago