26th January 2009

Though I think it is a bit late, but I am still very happy to start blogging about my wedding planning :) To start with, my engagement took place on 27th May 2007 (whoa such a long time ago!!). It was a small occassion but significant (to me at least hehe). 
That was the first time I met his family.. and such a big family!! I have 5 siblings, and the 
youngest was 14 at that time, he has 10 siblings and the youngest was 3 months old!!!!

I clearly remembered that day, I was SOOO tired of cooking (we cooked ourselves huuu) that I went to sleep at 11am. And when his family arrived at around zohr, I was fast asleep!!!

Only when my mum cried at the top of her lung and Umar playfully told me "Bapak mertua mu da sampai", I drowsily walked to the bathroom to take my bath!! Haha and truthfully I was not anxious at all, probably because he was not around (he was faraway in Jordan. Trust me I couldn't even breathe when he was around and still.... so if i faint on my wedding day, you should remember the provisional diagnosis- Hypoxemic attack secondary to psychosomatic apnea k).. so I think I passed gracefully :)

But I didn't receive my engagement ring until later- somewhere in August. That was explained by his homecoming from jordan during his holiday. He bought my ring himself in Jordan :) And he came with his cousin to meet my abah. Yup, you are right, I didn' dare to meet him, 
and he went back with frustration after handing in the ring and we exchanged our gifts (ummi was the mediator hik hik). 
I just wanted to avoid the apnea :p

Truthfully we wanted to get married a.s.a.p but my abah couldn't disagree more. So we 'pestered' him until he finally said "YES" 2 years later!!! Can you just imagine the emotional roller coaster ride that we went through the whole 2.5 years!! (the engagement was 6 months after he first proposed me) It was damn terrible. I wanted to talk to him so much, I wanted to share my life with him, I wanted to feel cared and loved by him.. but everything was just... IMPOSSIBLE.

We rarely sms each other back then. And by the word 'rarely', it means EXTREMELY RARE. Don't even mention phone call, it was to me (my personal opinion back then when i was such a inexperience perfectionist) the most sinful thing haha. But i was extremely depressed. And we fought each other almost everyday, and I didn't even know why did we agree to get engaged! It felt like hell.

Ummi helped us a lot. Whenever he was depressed, and he just didn't know how to handle my terrible EQ and emotional breakdown, he would consult Ummi. Whenever I refused to contact or contacted by him (which was almost all the time), 
he would consult Ummi and asked her how I am doing. Whenever I felt like breaking up with him, 
I would consult Ummi. Whenever I felt the depression was too much to be handled, I would 
consult Ummi. So you see she was and is still our relationship counsellor. She is just soo great, 
we love her sooo much!!

My advise: if you are such a strict person on Islamic syariah esp on muamalat, and you won't feel at ease having free communication with the opposite sex, or you want to avoid any syubhah, please don't be engaged for too long. It was a disaster, and it was terrible. Many a time I thought of breaking up, because the relationship was so stressful (He was a great person to me, and the fact that I couldn't share my life with him throughout the engagement period was so unbearable, that I just wanted to forget about him and marry somebody else)

But alhamdulillah after 2 years being engaged, we have learnt a lot. We still fight each other now, but we become friends again after just a short while. We learnt not to be egoistic. Most of the time (remember that, akhi) I would be the one who apologize first eventhough I feel it is not my fault, and he would follow (It feels so nice :>) We don't involve Ummi in our occassional little fights anymore hehe. We sms each other occasionally, and YM, and call but we are still very careful and strict on the forbidden romantic part huhuu. Everything is very sophisticated and formal, and I think I sound like a robot on the phone! -sigh-.waiting for the day..

I have grown close to his family especially his sister who quite frequently calls me, thanks Huda:) And I found out that I have so much in common with his sister, Eizzah regarding cooking, and we just can't stop exchanging recipes whenever we meet! or even through sms haha. And his mum is such a great tailor that I can't wait to learn something from her!! because I am also fond of sewing. Allah has planned everything perfectly insyaAllah.

There is so much to tell! I'll write from time to time insyaAllah :)