26th January 2009

Though I think it is a bit late, but I am still very happy to start blogging about my wedding planning :) To start with, my engagement took place on 27th May 2007 (whoa such a long time ago!!). It was a small occassion but significant (to me at least hehe). 
That was the first time I met his family.. and such a big family!! I have 5 siblings, and the 
youngest was 14 at that time, he has 10 siblings and the youngest was 3 months old!!!!

I clearly remembered that day, I was SOOO tired of cooking (we cooked ourselves huuu) that I went to sleep at 11am. And when his family arrived at around zohr, I was fast asleep!!!

Only when my mum cried at the top of her lung and Umar playfully told me "Bapak mertua mu da sampai", I drowsily walked to the bathroom to take my bath!! Haha and truthfully I was not anxious at all, probably because he was not around (he was faraway in Jordan. Trust me I couldn't even breathe when he was around and still.... so if i faint on my wedding day, you should remember the provisional diagnosis- Hypoxemic attack secondary to psychosomatic apnea k).. so I think I passed gracefully :)

But I didn't receive my engagement ring until later- somewhere in August. That was explained by his homecoming from jordan during his holiday. He bought my ring himself in Jordan :) And he came with his cousin to meet my abah. Yup, you are right, I didn' dare to meet him, 
and he went back with frustration after handing in the ring and we exchanged our gifts (ummi was the mediator hik hik). 
I just wanted to avoid the apnea :p

Truthfully we wanted to get married a.s.a.p but my abah couldn't disagree more. So we 'pestered' him until he finally said "YES" 2 years later!!! Can you just imagine the emotional roller coaster ride that we went through the whole 2.5 years!! (the engagement was 6 months after he first proposed me) It was damn terrible. I wanted to talk to him so much, I wanted to share my life with him, I wanted to feel cared and loved by him.. but everything was just... IMPOSSIBLE.

We rarely sms each other back then. And by the word 'rarely', it means EXTREMELY RARE. Don't even mention phone call, it was to me (my personal opinion back then when i was such a inexperience perfectionist) the most sinful thing haha. But i was extremely depressed. And we fought each other almost everyday, and I didn't even know why did we agree to get engaged! It felt like hell.

Ummi helped us a lot. Whenever he was depressed, and he just didn't know how to handle my terrible EQ and emotional breakdown, he would consult Ummi. Whenever I refused to contact or contacted by him (which was almost all the time), 
he would consult Ummi and asked her how I am doing. Whenever I felt like breaking up with him, 
I would consult Ummi. Whenever I felt the depression was too much to be handled, I would 
consult Ummi. So you see she was and is still our relationship counsellor. She is just soo great, 
we love her sooo much!!

My advise: if you are such a strict person on Islamic syariah esp on muamalat, and you won't feel at ease having free communication with the opposite sex, or you want to avoid any syubhah, please don't be engaged for too long. It was a disaster, and it was terrible. Many a time I thought of breaking up, because the relationship was so stressful (He was a great person to me, and the fact that I couldn't share my life with him throughout the engagement period was so unbearable, that I just wanted to forget about him and marry somebody else)

But alhamdulillah after 2 years being engaged, we have learnt a lot. We still fight each other now, but we become friends again after just a short while. We learnt not to be egoistic. Most of the time (remember that, akhi) I would be the one who apologize first eventhough I feel it is not my fault, and he would follow (It feels so nice :>) We don't involve Ummi in our occassional little fights anymore hehe. We sms each other occasionally, and YM, and call but we are still very careful and strict on the forbidden romantic part huhuu. Everything is very sophisticated and formal, and I think I sound like a robot on the phone! -sigh-.waiting for the day..

I have grown close to his family especially his sister who quite frequently calls me, thanks Huda:) And I found out that I have so much in common with his sister, Eizzah regarding cooking, and we just can't stop exchanging recipes whenever we meet! or even through sms haha. And his mum is such a great tailor that I can't wait to learn something from her!! because I am also fond of sewing. Allah has planned everything perfectly insyaAllah.

There is so much to tell! I'll write from time to time insyaAllah :)


I can't wait for the End Block Holiday!!

Finally, i find the time to write something here!! yup, i don't write much these days..probably because I am too busy brooding (again) hehe and creating a whole new set of internal conflicts in me (shh it's the "Why the heck am I doing medicine??" again) :p. so before i'll be off to the next meeting in umm 10 minutes time.. allow me to clear off some hanging cobwebs (a-ti-shoo). I'm now doing Internal Medicine, IM, interNal meDicine, iNtErNaL mEdIcInE- pheww the posting which proudly won the "highest-failure-rate award" -SIGH-

Failure and pass is a very subjective matter. To think that it is quite unfair and unjust to judge the hardwork throughout the posting in the few critical minutes of presentation 
(well, clinical exam is all about acting by the way), I can only say to those who 
failed "Please be patient, it was indeed a test from Him"..... this worldly examination is nothing compared 
to the LIFE EXAMINATION. now we can resit and repeat, but that is of course not the case in akhirah...
May Allah guide us all..

Remind me to write on HIV/ AIDS later..something which happened in the ward..-sigh- I'm dying to share it now, but really I just can't escape the meeting this time around (up-rolling my eyeballs, but I'm not fitting!!)

By the way I'll insyaAllah be going home tomorrow :D so probably I'll have more time to write..on so many things!!! and to Kak Chik, I'm still waiting for the niqab guide ehehehe :)


I think it is time for me to write, but I was dead afraid that I'll (AGAIN!) write on negativism, becase the thing is.. I am currently disampuk hantu jahat. Pheww. What I really want right now is

1. to go back home
2. to spend my holiday at home
3. to be home
4. to have my meal at home
5. to go to the toilet in my house
6. to sleep and get up in my own bed back home
7. everything that is associated with home!!!

But do i realize that we don't always get what we want..? The palestinians want a piece of land where they can call 'home'..they have it but it is not peaceful as how a home should be..

The Israels want the Palestinians home, to be their own home. They are stealers!!

The palestinians are grieving, so am I. And so are the muslims from around the globe..

Can anybody please allow me to go home??... -sob sob sob- 


I don't know why..

I don't know why but I always feel tempted to write regrding parents, birrul walidain.. Or more specific regarding ummi wa abi..

Today abah is having the usual gouty attack- an illness which he has been living with for almost 20 years. How intensively heart breaking to see him limping around..and usually he won't walk much. If you have never seen someone having gouty attack, please believe me it is very painful.. Imagine if i inject a syringe of water into your joint causing it to swell, how painful would that be...?.. hmm i have never experienced it myself as well, so i wouldn't know for sure..

After I had my lunch alone, because my parents had their lunch in bed huu.. I walked pass their bedroom to go upstairs..and their bedroom door was ajar (p/s: ajar means partially opened :p ) and i saw them performing congregational zuhr prayer..with abah sitting on a chair (of course, how could ummi possibly be the imam?? hehe). Terkasima seketika memerhatikan mereka.. dan rasa sayu.. 
We are getting bigger and they are growing older.. Kalau dulu bila melihat ayah kita, 
seorang lelaki gagah perkasa, and stronger than Ultraman, more super than Superman, 
dan bila lihat mak kita, wanita jelita dan sempurna, padanya kita harapkan kasih sayang dan belaian manja..
but now when we look at our parents, we see 2 frail beings, who needs our love and care.. it makes me think.. mampukah aku untuk menjadi anak yang solehah dan berikan jagaan sempurna, layanan istimewa.. sesempurna jagaan dan seistimewa layanan mereka...??......

Appreciate your parents, and love them!!! Their sacrifices could never be repaid.. in eternity..

Twilight Saga, please??

Only 1 day left, of my precious and rare holiday..before i regretfully ride the bus and depart for Kuantan.. and in the remaining 1 day, i have so many things to do..I want to bake, I want to complete sewing the curtain which have been abandoned ( I started making it during my 2 months holiday after professional exam..almost half a year ago ~huu) , I want to write endlessly (probably I have to put that aside as it can be done in Kuantan)..and after spending 1 whole day repainting and spring-cleaning my room yesterday, i think i deserve to have a nice break.. which means reading the Twilight Saga huu. It belongs to my sis, and she is continuously influencing me to read it -_-

But looking at the books which I have brought home (konon-konon la for holiday reading), a pang GUILT invades my tempted heart..and I just can't decide. You can read the twilight saga, no harm in doing that :) 
but I choose the latter just to assure myself that at least I do 'something more Islamic' today :p

You see, our whole life is an ibadah as long as the itention is for Allah, but in everything we do we have to choose a better ibadah :) Happy 'ibadat'ing everybody!!

Don't worry, I'll carefully choose an interesting book and share the review in

By the way I am going to share the room-makeover in If you have nothing interesting to do..feel free to visit this new and sparse blog :)


IIUM Mega Assembly Uploaded!!

This is the video which I have promised earlier..but i do have to apologize because it is not a complete video..most of the interesting parts including the gimmick- a palestinian womn holding her dead baby, Bush dummy etc were not included..ASIFAH (Sorry) everybody..

And if u wanna have a peek at the pics taken, go to :)


Khaibar khaibar ya Yahud, Jaisyu muhammad saufa ya'ud!!

I am not from TV3 who is responsible to make a report on the event (haha i have no other intention besides to publicly mention, TV3 came to cover the demonstration)

But i do feel excited to write something about it anyway (pictures will follow later k as I can't find my hp's cable thus i can't transfer the pictures & video -gosh!! + gasp- into Lavender kun -and to acknowledge that Lavender kun is so ancient that it isn't supplemented with bluetooth device- )

First of all, it was raining mildly, quite a dark and damp day which allowed the MC (fakhru please take note) to use the line "Cuaca seakan memahami....bla bla bla" Such a perfect dramatic setting!!?? :p

It was held immediately after Jumuah prayer, in front of UIAM Kuantan mosque, which disabled the people from going back without attending the demo (segan barangkali??)

There were so many people, tha when "Allahuakbar" was cried out loud, I was surprised that none of the glasses in Kuliyyah of Medicine building broke!!! huu extreme exaggeration~

It started with speech given by Dean of Kuliyyah of Medicine, Dr Fauzi Rani followed by speech from few other lecturers and students. Next came the Donation, Gimmick, Resolution etc

Towards the end of the demonstration, a small group o students insisted that the Bush dummy should be burnt. But we didn't do it because it wasn't academic. At last instead of shouting "Hancur Hancur Hancur Israil", the line "Bersurai bersurai pergi kelas" was heard.. And Mr Azmi (Campus director) just smiled gleefully..


Mak cakap dengan Abah

I was reading a patient's folder, when I overheard a conversation sourcing from the next bed.. I feel tempted to jot it down in my notebook (instead of jotting down the patient's history or lab investigations...)

Patient: Ya Allah ambillah nyawaku
Wife: Hissy, usah kabor (Eh, don't say that!)
Patient: Dah tu abah sakit. Abah nak bantal putih, mak ambil kat rumah
Wife: Nak buat apa?
Patient: Nak letak kat kepala. Telepon la rumah, suruh bawak bantal tu
Wife: Mintak bantal kat misi je
Patient: Jangan mintak (warning). Cukuplah 1 bantal untuk abah, yang lain untuk pesakit lain
Patient: Ya Allah, mak tak jaga abah
Wife: Mak jaga abah la ni..Sabarlah abah..
Patient: Abah sabar. Mak yang tak sabar..

And the conversation went on.. I felt touched just by listening.. and surely i gained something