I guess I'm insane! Few more months left before I graduate insyaAllah, and I'm still thinking of quitting? Dude!!!!! Or better still, postponing the final year. I don't know what's wrong with me, but I'm really not in the -student-mode- (malas yang melampau) and I can't push myself to be in that mode, and I just want to go back home and stay with Ummi, doing nothing. How awful does that sound?.......Pemalas giler2.
Is it that bad? Hah. Rephrase --> Is medicine that bad? or.. Is the mind that rotten? Huhu either way. InsyaAllah abang will be home in 1 week, and I'm trying hard to finish my on-calls before that..which explains the dull and grumpy weekend in Kuantan ~sigh~ I really want to hug and kiss and chew Safiyya!
Surely abang will be surprised, the wife that has always been slim-mlim (haha), dah buncit pun haha. In no time, the wife will be all bloated up!
Moving into the second trimester, few changes have to take place. I start taking the Enfamama milk although the taste is not that encouraging huu. I rarely vomit these days but the nausea is still there. And I'm yet waiting for the dinasourous appetite to set in huu. Guess I'm tired of doing a shopping spree at the pasar malam and later throwing away untouched food. Stowing away the high heels, I opt for a pair of unfashionable Bata Comfit sandal because when you stand for 1 whole day in the ward, the shoes really can't accomodate the swelling feet. It's not much yet, but the feet do swell! And I start to look at my baju kurung with distaste huu. The kain has started to strangle the waist! If I wear it too low,then it'd sweep the street clean, if I wear it too high it would cause an even more severe dyspnea. Haisyy. In the end, can I just wear nothing?? _Depressed mode_ 1 thing, I can't tolerate chicken now, but I have to eat nasi lemak every single day!!!! Ketagih pulak tu dengan nasi lemak kat Rescue. How unhealthy huuu.
Abang, do ur best in the exam! (Chewah pandai nasihatkan abang, walhal diri sendiri pun malas).
Saturday
Tuesday
Mummy Katts :D
Alhamdulillah my sister gave birth to a healthy 3.4kg baby on 25th July 2010, via C-sect (sebab baby degil tanak kuar dari perut ok despite repeated induction!!)
Now I'm the proud Mummy Kats to such an adorable Safiyya Amani bt Mohd Hafidz hehe. Well, if you wonder how does that name come by, please be informed that my original name went through such a tremendous evolution since I was small.
The given name is Maryam al Batul, but in primary school, my friends called me Ayam Batu. Then an uncle called me Beh-Aaa-Teh-Uuu-Le (read it bahasa baku ok) because I learnt to spell using phonic. I read ABC, instead of Ay, Bi, Si, Di, I read as Aaa, Beh, Ceh, De, Ee, and when I was asked to spell my name, just imagine huu. Then my sibs started calling me Katoles instead of Batul, and now it has again evolved (for quite some time) to Katts huu.
So Mummy Katts as it is. My elder sis is mama, and my younger sis will be Ummi :) Me? 'Mommy' as I prefer my baby to call me :D
Eh safiyya tengah sing choir ke ni?? Nganga mulut nanti masuk lalat pulak :p
Aaaa safiyya mengamuk! Macam muka kakak la huu.
Now I'm the proud Mummy Kats to such an adorable Safiyya Amani bt Mohd Hafidz hehe. Well, if you wonder how does that name come by, please be informed that my original name went through such a tremendous evolution since I was small.
The given name is Maryam al Batul, but in primary school, my friends called me Ayam Batu. Then an uncle called me Beh-Aaa-Teh-Uuu-Le (read it bahasa baku ok) because I learnt to spell using phonic. I read ABC, instead of Ay, Bi, Si, Di, I read as Aaa, Beh, Ceh, De, Ee, and when I was asked to spell my name, just imagine huu. Then my sibs started calling me Katoles instead of Batul, and now it has again evolved (for quite some time) to Katts huu.
So Mummy Katts as it is. My elder sis is mama, and my younger sis will be Ummi :) Me? 'Mommy' as I prefer my baby to call me :D
Safiyya dalam pangkuan nenek (ummi). Safiyya ni cam amoi la! mata dah la sepet, pastu muka cam tak bersalah je, walaupun selepas 3 hari degil tanak kuar!!!
Eh safiyya tengah sing choir ke ni?? Nganga mulut nanti masuk lalat pulak :p
Aaaa safiyya mengamuk! Macam muka kakak la huu.True and superbly true, a baby is a bundle of joy! Safiyya Amani really brings joy to our family, the first grandchild to Ummi and Abah, and the first niece to us. Geram tengok pipi Safiyya chubby, rasa nak gigit-gigit-gigit!!!!
Bila tengok Safiyya ni chubby sangat, rasa semangat plak nak minum susu and eat healthy foods so that our baby will be as chubby as her hehe. (As my bro puts it, kakak ni semua benda utk kesihatan dia minum!!) Pastu nanti our baby nak keluar, Mummy juga yg siksa nak meneran huu :D
Saturday
Ni cerita Nuffnang
When I was in Jordan, everybody (fellow bloggers) were busy with the 'blog and get paid' activity, by using Nuffnang, adsense, answering questionnaire and such. What inspired me most was when I read Ibu and Walid Damia's blog, regarding their earning which reached hundreds, just by using Nuffnang! So I tried my best to explain abang regarding this Nuffnang, and ended putting the banner in my blog haha.
Abang was being skeptic in the throughout (he never believes that one can easily earn anything huu) but I tried my luck anyway. After 2 weeks, there were still no earning but the blog traffick was quite high reaching hundreds. Then i had to meekly inform abang by saying "Abang, tak dpt duit pun letak Nuffnang.. traffick high tapi takde org nak click banner tu kot huu" Memangla iklan yg Nuffnang letak tu pun tak best langsung huu. Abang laughed, he really laughed macam nak pecah perut, that I was infected :D He said "kan abang da cakap" me: "tapi tikah dapat duit banyak"
Another 2 weeks, I checked again, I said abang ada RM0.25 je. This time around I couldn't stop laughing. Abang sindir2 la sambil ketawa gila2 "dah tak payah nak sibuk2 cari duit kat blog, abang kan tanggung ayang". I was still feeling rebellious, "Bukan takde duit, tapi org lain tulis blog, dapat duit" siap buat muka cebik lagi
Today after 2 weeks in malaysia, for the first time I check my Nuffnang account. Baru RM0.50!!! Kalau abang dgr mesti dia gelak lagi haha. Sesungguhnya memangla nak cancel Nuffnang tu.
Abang was being skeptic in the throughout (he never believes that one can easily earn anything huu) but I tried my luck anyway. After 2 weeks, there were still no earning but the blog traffick was quite high reaching hundreds. Then i had to meekly inform abang by saying "Abang, tak dpt duit pun letak Nuffnang.. traffick high tapi takde org nak click banner tu kot huu" Memangla iklan yg Nuffnang letak tu pun tak best langsung huu. Abang laughed, he really laughed macam nak pecah perut, that I was infected :D He said "kan abang da cakap" me: "tapi tikah dapat duit banyak"
Another 2 weeks, I checked again, I said abang ada RM0.25 je. This time around I couldn't stop laughing. Abang sindir2 la sambil ketawa gila2 "dah tak payah nak sibuk2 cari duit kat blog, abang kan tanggung ayang". I was still feeling rebellious, "Bukan takde duit, tapi org lain tulis blog, dapat duit" siap buat muka cebik lagi
Today after 2 weeks in malaysia, for the first time I check my Nuffnang account. Baru RM0.50!!! Kalau abang dgr mesti dia gelak lagi haha. Sesungguhnya memangla nak cancel Nuffnang tu.
Friday
Ni post yang langsung tak best!
Tomorrow baby will be entering the 12th week (I made a mistake, the week changes every saturday). But the pregnancy sickness isn't showing any sign to cessate..haissy.
I was down with fever and tonsilitis yesterday, and ended having hyperemesis as well..I vomited for more than 10 times in a period of 12 hours, which prompted me to go to the A&E dept..as a patient. It strongly reminded me of the earlier part of the pregnancy huuu...and brought back all the ugly memory. The doctor told me to come again today to be admitted should the vomiting continue , but alhamdulillah it is now better, and I'm more than willing to be admitted to Ummi's house huu.
Being a medical student, I thought of so many thing yesterday. Well, I had so many respiratory patients for the past 3 weeks- a patient with MDR TB, RVD positive with PCP, klebsiella pneumonia... and considering that a pregnant lady have some degree of immunosuppression or rather susceptibility to ifxn, I was so worried when I started having URTI yesterday. I was ready to tell mimi, that should she find me in an altered state of consciousness, bring me to the hosp asap, and please consider either pneumonia or meningitis huuu. I was of course a bit off the track, plus the headache that was quite severe..and repeatedly examine myself looking for Brudzinski sign (for meningitis). Well, when you have a baby inside you, you really want to make sure the baby is safe and sound huuu.
Every single day, I keep receiving comments like "Maryam, pucat sangat!!", "Maryam, awak nampak tak sihat", "Maryam, ok tak ni?" and truth is I never quite feel my own self during the pregnancy huuu. Imagine the feeling like your body is being taken over, but it's for the good of my baby, then it doesn't matter at all :) But really when I assess myself, I think my Hb is around 8 only. And many a times, I feel like surrendering myself to the ward for IV fluid, for blood transfusion..pregnancy is indeed a physiological stress on the body, at least for me. I have to sit down during bedside teachings, I very frequently skip the classes, and teachings with clinic time slip and MC. Well at least I'm still a medical student, and I have no other responsibility except towards my own self and study...just imagine if I'm a real doctor..everything would be worse. Maybe I should consider taking a cuti tanpa gaji huuu.
Today and for the past few days, I become very emotional..and I even cry when I'm driving..sebabnya?? I tell abang to just feel enough with a child, really I don't want to get pregnant again for the rest of my life huuu... tapi bila cakap camtu, takut abang poligami for the purpose of getting children..hmm org perempuan suka fikir ngarut2.. mengandung tu susah, susah dan susah, dan sangat menguji iman dan kesabaran.... T_T
I was down with fever and tonsilitis yesterday, and ended having hyperemesis as well..I vomited for more than 10 times in a period of 12 hours, which prompted me to go to the A&E dept..as a patient. It strongly reminded me of the earlier part of the pregnancy huuu...and brought back all the ugly memory. The doctor told me to come again today to be admitted should the vomiting continue , but alhamdulillah it is now better, and I'm more than willing to be admitted to Ummi's house huu.
Being a medical student, I thought of so many thing yesterday. Well, I had so many respiratory patients for the past 3 weeks- a patient with MDR TB, RVD positive with PCP, klebsiella pneumonia... and considering that a pregnant lady have some degree of immunosuppression or rather susceptibility to ifxn, I was so worried when I started having URTI yesterday. I was ready to tell mimi, that should she find me in an altered state of consciousness, bring me to the hosp asap, and please consider either pneumonia or meningitis huuu. I was of course a bit off the track, plus the headache that was quite severe..and repeatedly examine myself looking for Brudzinski sign (for meningitis). Well, when you have a baby inside you, you really want to make sure the baby is safe and sound huuu.
Every single day, I keep receiving comments like "Maryam, pucat sangat!!", "Maryam, awak nampak tak sihat", "Maryam, ok tak ni?" and truth is I never quite feel my own self during the pregnancy huuu. Imagine the feeling like your body is being taken over, but it's for the good of my baby, then it doesn't matter at all :) But really when I assess myself, I think my Hb is around 8 only. And many a times, I feel like surrendering myself to the ward for IV fluid, for blood transfusion..pregnancy is indeed a physiological stress on the body, at least for me. I have to sit down during bedside teachings, I very frequently skip the classes, and teachings with clinic time slip and MC. Well at least I'm still a medical student, and I have no other responsibility except towards my own self and study...just imagine if I'm a real doctor..everything would be worse. Maybe I should consider taking a cuti tanpa gaji huuu.
Today and for the past few days, I become very emotional..and I even cry when I'm driving..sebabnya?? I tell abang to just feel enough with a child, really I don't want to get pregnant again for the rest of my life huuu... tapi bila cakap camtu, takut abang poligami for the purpose of getting children..hmm org perempuan suka fikir ngarut2.. mengandung tu susah, susah dan susah, dan sangat menguji iman dan kesabaran.... T_T
Saturday
I haven't updated for long, it's not so much about the final year aura but the 1st trim is still not over yet. Now I'm more determined than ever to just feel enough with whatever that I have.. a lovely daughter perhaps? haha. (abang, silalah bersifat qanaah juga ok :p)
Tomorrow will be the 11th week (the week changes every sunday), I still vomit once daily, in the morning, and that explains why I usually come late to the ward huu..sometimes I really question my own commitment in being an IM (internal medicine) students..with the unnegligible absence, excessive sleeping while pretending I have nothing to revise (specifically pretending that Kumar & Clark has never existed!) well I need 11 hours of sleep everyday sigh~, the 2 weeks had really gone by quite unsatisfactorily..and I have 5 more weeks to go before the exam. Gosh!! (Including the 2 pre-exam weeks when I have to endure abang's presence haha) I guess all in all 3 weeks left for me to do some significant exam prep huhuu...
Baby prep is going on according to plan Alhamdulillah. I manage to prevent myself from indulging into the shopping thingy. We have this warehouse Parkson Sale in megamall kuantan, and the whole village is talking about it..going crazy over it as well, and it is such a big sin for me not to pay an honourable visit..so that was what I did. Surprisingly, I managed to come home empty-handed!!! I was not lured into emptying my pocket gee :D
Abang asked me to make a table of a list of things that we have to buy (given that our baby has nothing much to inherit. The second baby on my side, and on abang's side), and I searched the internet for the price range..and we meticulously calculated within the affordoble range insyaAllah. Well, it's a good thing that mummy is such an avid internet shopper :p. The list was completed during my elective, and abang gave his approval so purchase after purchase was made..and till now I think we are 60% done with the shopping! Whoa. One will do the same when the husband is not always around.. and we decide to finish everything by raya..perhaps abang will be back again by the time baby is ready to see the world!
Till now, (this list is more to update the dad :))baby already has her own white wooden crib, with crib set, mattress and all alhamdulillah (ni beli sebab sale :D), set tilam kekabu for travelling or put the baby merata-rata, breastpump set (Spectra 3) including the backpack, milk storage bottles and cooler bag- semangat yg terlampau nk exclusively breastfeed baby huu, sterilizer, 10 pieces of cloth diaper (gambar cartoon comel hehe), sleeping bag (this one was bought by abang upon mummy's request ngee), a basketful of clothes (pun beli ngan abang dulu2, plus the rompers given by my brother, Umar and mittens hat n boots given by alia), and miscellaneous things such as brush bottle, bulb syringe hehe (and all are pink!).
I'm more than glad to have Ummi who counsels me on the thing that we need and we don't need. Things like "Cukuplah beli baju! Banyak sangat. Ummi dulu, beli 4 helai je sebab waktu tu tak mampu sgt, lepastu basuh la hari2"
Me: Err I do laundry once a week huuu
Yg Umar ni lagi ntah ape2, "Eee buat ape beli sterilizer?? Ummi basuh dengan axion je!"
I was like, 'how does he even know Ummi guna axion waktu dia baby dulu2??' so i just answered "Ummi rebus atas api la botol2 dulu!" That is actually true.
The nausea is still very much testing my patience, although I now eat rice up to 4 times a day huu (seriously rasa lapar mcm kebuluran) plus titibits (bread which used to be my main meal huu) in between my current main meals. The weight is spiking high!! But never mind, I eat when I feel famished and hypoglycaemic so i guess that's normal. If makan lambat sket je, akan muntah2 haisyy.
I guess that's all for now, got the elective report to be completed and submitted on monday, the 5 clerking sheets to be submitted on friday, and should start working on my case write-up huuuuu.... still not in the mood to be hardworking T_T
Tomorrow will be the 11th week (the week changes every sunday), I still vomit once daily, in the morning, and that explains why I usually come late to the ward huu..sometimes I really question my own commitment in being an IM (internal medicine) students..with the unnegligible absence, excessive sleeping while pretending I have nothing to revise (specifically pretending that Kumar & Clark has never existed!) well I need 11 hours of sleep everyday sigh~, the 2 weeks had really gone by quite unsatisfactorily..and I have 5 more weeks to go before the exam. Gosh!! (Including the 2 pre-exam weeks when I have to endure abang's presence haha) I guess all in all 3 weeks left for me to do some significant exam prep huhuu...
Baby prep is going on according to plan Alhamdulillah. I manage to prevent myself from indulging into the shopping thingy. We have this warehouse Parkson Sale in megamall kuantan, and the whole village is talking about it..going crazy over it as well, and it is such a big sin for me not to pay an honourable visit..so that was what I did. Surprisingly, I managed to come home empty-handed!!! I was not lured into emptying my pocket gee :D
Abang asked me to make a table of a list of things that we have to buy (given that our baby has nothing much to inherit. The second baby on my side, and on abang's side), and I searched the internet for the price range..and we meticulously calculated within the affordoble range insyaAllah. Well, it's a good thing that mummy is such an avid internet shopper :p. The list was completed during my elective, and abang gave his approval so purchase after purchase was made..and till now I think we are 60% done with the shopping! Whoa. One will do the same when the husband is not always around.. and we decide to finish everything by raya..perhaps abang will be back again by the time baby is ready to see the world!
Till now, (this list is more to update the dad :))baby already has her own white wooden crib, with crib set, mattress and all alhamdulillah (ni beli sebab sale :D), set tilam kekabu for travelling or put the baby merata-rata, breastpump set (Spectra 3) including the backpack, milk storage bottles and cooler bag- semangat yg terlampau nk exclusively breastfeed baby huu, sterilizer, 10 pieces of cloth diaper (gambar cartoon comel hehe), sleeping bag (this one was bought by abang upon mummy's request ngee), a basketful of clothes (pun beli ngan abang dulu2, plus the rompers given by my brother, Umar and mittens hat n boots given by alia), and miscellaneous things such as brush bottle, bulb syringe hehe (and all are pink!).
I'm more than glad to have Ummi who counsels me on the thing that we need and we don't need. Things like "Cukuplah beli baju! Banyak sangat. Ummi dulu, beli 4 helai je sebab waktu tu tak mampu sgt, lepastu basuh la hari2"
Me: Err I do laundry once a week huuu
Yg Umar ni lagi ntah ape2, "Eee buat ape beli sterilizer?? Ummi basuh dengan axion je!"
I was like, 'how does he even know Ummi guna axion waktu dia baby dulu2??' so i just answered "Ummi rebus atas api la botol2 dulu!" That is actually true.
The nausea is still very much testing my patience, although I now eat rice up to 4 times a day huu (seriously rasa lapar mcm kebuluran) plus titibits (bread which used to be my main meal huu) in between my current main meals. The weight is spiking high!! But never mind, I eat when I feel famished and hypoglycaemic so i guess that's normal. If makan lambat sket je, akan muntah2 haisyy.
I guess that's all for now, got the elective report to be completed and submitted on monday, the 5 clerking sheets to be submitted on friday, and should start working on my case write-up huuuuu.... still not in the mood to be hardworking T_T
Friday
Ucapan terima kasih untuk abang :D
Entah kenapa sejak akhir2 ini lebih selesa berbahasa melayu..simptom ibu mengandungkah??
2 hari lepas ada tulis entry tapi takde mood nak publish. Konon2 nak upload gambar scan baby 3 hari lepas :), pun takde mood nak transfer into lappy. Dah ukur Crown-Rump Length (kepanjangan kepala sehingga bontot baby :D.. 2.5cm, 9 minggu 2 hari ). Baby sekarang Alhamdulillah cukup 9 minggu (huu sungguh tidak sabar untuk menghabiskan first trimester).
Lusa akan pulang ke Malaysia..abang dah mula nangis2 huhu, tapi emosi saya terbantut. Mungkin sebab tengah sakit + risau macamana nak naik flight sorang2 + transit kat Kuwait 9 jam huuu. Dan Ummi menunggu di Malaysia dengan sotong masak kicapnya!!!Tak sedih untuk berpisah ke? Kurang sikit..sebab........................ insyaAllah abang pun akan pulang ke Malaysia sebulan selepas saya pulang :) InsyaAllah waktu tu dah sihat berbanding sekarang. Tak sabar tunggu abang balik untuk shopping barang baby! Mesti banyak raya sale :D Tapi bila abang balik semula ke Jordan, saya pasti akan menangis dengan teruk, sebab abang takkan balik lagi sehinggalah time saya nak bersalin insyaAllah T___T
Dan...saya sangat rindu dengan baking dan cooking! Tak sabar tunggu abang pulang ke Malaysia untuk masak macam2 (hopefully dah tak nausea la huuu) dan masak berbuka puasa untuk family :D
Tak sabar tunggu baby kakak lahir..mungkin 2 hingga 3 minggu lagi insyaAllah.
Akan masuk posting Internal Medicine isnin ni... huu perjuangan tahun akhir sebagai pelajar perubatan saya bakal bermula.. tahun yang busy untuk grad..and untuk jadi mommy insyaAllah :) (menggatal tak? orang busy nak study, saya sibuk nak baby jugak huuu. well one can never stop challenging him/herself, can't he?) Doakan urusan saya dipermudahkan.. La hawla wa laa quwwata illa billah!
Saya sangat teringin nak BABY GIRL!!!! Da siap sediakan nama kalau baby girl hehe. Tapi abang nak baby boy huuu. Tak kira, kena shopping barang pink jugak :D
Saya pasti rindu saat bersama abang.. mengenangkan menghadapi kesakitan mengandung dikala jauh dari family dan insan2 berpengalaman.. kami menggunakan segala bagai cebisan2 ilmu 'kampung' untuk dipraktikkan haha. Tapi 'kampung' tu lebih kat abang la haha. Saya suka ke farmasi beli ubat macam2, kalau perlukan prescription, siap jumpa Dr utk minta prescription..oh sungguh tak bagus.. abang???? hehehe
Haa ini apa yang abang 'dera' saya sepanjang saya sakit:
Abang suruh seterika perut beralaskan selimut untuk kurangkan angin (dia kata mak pernah buat kat dia), tapi saya berkeras taknak sebab takut baby tak tahan panas (siap nangis2 cakap taknak, nanti baby panas haha)
Abang suruh saya duduk dalam posisi pelik2 untuk keluarkan angin dari badan huuu (pun saya taknak buat)
Abang sapu minyak angin kat perut, satu hari tu dia letak minyak angin bentuk love kat perut, hari esok dia buat bentuk smiley pulak (ya Allah suami aku ni), lepas tu urut perut macam uli roti canai huuu (waktu tu berharap sangat mak cik midah yang selalu urut ummi ade kat jordan untuk urutkan haha), tapi abang urut perut saya rasa lega :p
Ubat abang yang paling mujarab- air teh panas yang dia buat..selalu berjaya untuk hilangkan rasa nak muntah dan kurangkan angin.. satu malam berkali2 abang bangun tidur untuk continuously supply air teh (terharu huu)
Kalau sakit, abang sukaaaaaaa sangat tanya
"Ni siapa yang ngada2 ni?" Saya jawab "baby"
"Ni ayang yang nak makan ke baby?" Saya jawab "baby"
"Kenapa perut banyak sangat angin ni?" Saya jawab "mesti baby banyak kentut"
Last2 abang cakap "Kenapa asyik salahkan baby je??????????????" Hahahaha
So hari ni bila abang tanya
"Ni baby yang sakit ke mommy?" saya jawab "mommy"
Semalam abang pergi kedai, konon2 nak belikan makanan ruji mommy iaitu biskut kering. Waktu tu saya sedang sangat sakit. Abang pesan supaya saya miscall dia selepas 10 minit..sebabbb orang kedai tu suka sangat sembang dengan abang and abang takut tersangkut lama!!!! Abang keluar je saya tertidur (konon2 waktu tu pesan supaya abang belikan dark chocolate untuk kurangkan rasa nak muntah) Abang balik lewat tp saya tak sedar pun.
Abang kejutkan, dia tanya nak chocolate tak. Saya pun angguk dan ambil chocolate yang abang hulurkan, lepastu terus tertidur lagi (tidur yang tak nyenyak + mimpi pelik2 sebab nausea yg teramat), sambil pegang chocolate tu sehingga subuh..dan tempat yg saya pegang..chocolate tu dah melt sebab haba dr tangan haha. Abang ambil semula, dia jemur kat udara sejuk diluar supaya chocolate keras balik. Kenangan, kenangan :) yang akan sentiasa saya kenang
2 hari lagi bersama abang,, berpisah sementara untuk renew cinta dan rindu (ngee) dan bertemu semula insyaAllah. Terima kasih abang!!
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