Just one more day!

Just 1 more day before Forensic posting will end.. And I can't patiently wait for that day... I really have to admit the gigantic regret towards the finishing holiday.. ahh life is so tiring that sometimes you forget to inhale a deep and refreshing breath..
I have my own share of bad smell, nausea and vomiting in the mortuary, a fair share in braving traffic jams and not to forget, the haunting nightmares, waking up crying during the night only to make Athiq feel stress huuu (the only irony is my increasing appetite!!)
Being in the mortuary isn't something any sane human would dream of or worst; die for... (uh-uh we-ll, as a matter of fact, one really 'DIE FOR' a mortuary haha when one can only get into the mortuary once he/she is dead). But on the other end, I have to admit that I learnt a lot. First, I learn to pray hard that my body will not be investigated and post-mortemed. Second, I think hard of what happen after death...and feel... afraid? Just imagine when you are in the autopsy room (the room where post-mortems are carried out), a dead body laid on a steel bed, before your very eyes... and you start to wonder.. What is the ruh doing? Does the ruh look at the body from above? Can the dead hear us? Can they understand? Macamane keadaan dia dihadapan Allah? Gembirakah? Sedihkah? Adakah mereka ingin kembali ke dunia dan beramal..? endless questions... And when these questions are haywiring in the brain just like neurotransmitters during seizure... you start to reflect upon your own life.. What have I done in the almost 23 years of my life? Have I done enough? Am I prepared to leave this world to meet my creator? Do I feel my life is meaningful..? Do I regret the way I treat my loved ones? I don't know... I'm in such a bizarre state of mind........................