Recipe for today ;D

haven't updated my cooking blog for quite sometime, but today i don't have the option to procrastinate again. it's not that i don't cook but taking and uploading the pics are a prob for me. i don't have a handphone with camera and bluetooth. it is a handphone which i bought in my first year MBBS huhu. We usu take pics using abang's phone camera.

Hari ni tergerak hati nak buat tortilla, mcm puan anis buat utk suami dia ^_^. early in the morning faheem and me went out to buy some groceries. balik je, terus buat chocolate cake and banana cake. and then buat ayam masak sambal. lately my appetite takes a different twist (i wonder why hmm). i eat seriously more than usual and i crave for weird thins. 2 nights ago i asked abang to buy me nasi + pedal ayam (ada warung yg jual, we ate at 12am huhu). then today they sell paru lembu goreng, teringin jugak, terus order haih. yg buat ayam sambal tu sbnrnya sbb teringin nak makan paru sambal, so buat sambal siap2.

lepastu barula nak try resipi puan anis. mula2 buat popcorn chicken (abang panggil kuih ayam. kalau udang celup tepung abang kata kuih udang huuu T_T nama tak glamour langsung). lepastu barula nak masak totilla sebenar. and then buat gravy for mashed potato mcm kat kfc. senang crite ni tgh tringin nak makan twister kfc ngee~

will upload the recipe and pics later in my cooking blog insyaAllah :D

18th December 2011- Wadi Arab

Alhamdulillah today we had the chance to have a picnic at wadi arab (betul ke tak ntah nama ni). It was so beautiful SUBHANALLAH! And later we visited the tomb of Muadz bin Jabal and his son. Abang said both of them died of cholera.. May Allah bless their souls..

New Hope

I read many blogs and websites on methods of teaching a small kid, subscribed to many newsletters eg brillkid, learnt various tricks to stimulate a child, bought many educational and story books to supplement the teaching and I could sum up that I did quite a lot of things to educate my baby.

After few months of teaching Ameer Faheem, I started to give-up because he couldn't speak thus I didn't know whether he understands any of them. Furthermore nenek said that maybe at this age they are not ready to read yet. I started to believe that (eventhough I tried hard to believe otherwise), until 1 day (few days back) I noticed (I might be wrong anyway, but hey I'm trying to cling on to the slightest hope available haha) that Faheem started associating the phonics sounds that I made with the ABC which I pasted on his wall.

I love to sing this song that goes A sounds like aaaa.... apple, B sounds like behh...bee, C sounds like kkkeh...car, and D sounds like dddeh..DADDY! until z. I adapted the sound from smarthands (find in youtube). He usually likes it best when I say F sounds like ffffFFF...FAHEEM! And laugh as if that is the funniest thing in the world. Everytime I sing out the song, I point to the respective letters on his wall. Few days back when I started singing that song, he just watched and when I was about to mention the letter F (and point towards it), he started laughing out loud! I was too astonished that I laughed with him haha. It might be a coincidence anyway.

But I'm not going to lie, that if it was a coincidence, then it was a coincidence delicately planned by Allah to boost up my spirit again. Guess what did I do after that? I searched for the blog darwisy darwisya again (I read that blog a long time ago), this time around determined to seriously plan for Faheem's education. I have even laid out his daily routines (what to learn and when), I google for nutritious food ideas for him and I did some research for his school.

But for the time being, we are planning on sending him to a playgroup. But the schooling system in Jordan follows that of a university, which means they are finishing end of this month and start again in february. Guess Faheem has to wait until february insyaAllah. It's not really for educational purpose but rather for social purpose. i want him to learn how to make friends haha.

As for now, he still tries to eat his alif ba ta flashcards (by al-Furqan) which frustrates me daily, and he refuses to sit in front of the tv to watch his educational videos if i don't stay with him (even if i stay with him, he usually busies himself with something else such as trying to reach for the tv huu)

Ask me

Ask me what an HO's housewife is going through, and I can give a sincere answer. Lonely. Most of the times I think I act like a small kid crying and fighting for abang's attention and time. Urgghh how I hate that but I just couldn't help it. That doesn't define an isteri solehah for sure..... But many times I just don't care T_T.

Macamanala isteri yang suaminya keluar berjihad lama kan? Besar pahala, tapi besar juga jurang untuk terbuat dosa, bilamana ketaatan isteri jadi pertaruhan. Abang kata nak keluar ikut tabligh sehari pun, dah berjuraian air mata. Berat hati untuk melepaskan, barangkali kerana nipisnya iman.

Orang kata sifat anak itu ikut ibu bapanya. I used to question that fact... until the proof is right there before my very own eyes...

Ameer faheem sukeeee sgt merajuk...

Ameer Faheem sukeeee sgt menangis bila bangun tidur...

Ameer Faheem mengamuk2 bila daddy nak keluar rumah...

Semua mummy faham...

TAPI

Ameer faheem extra buas... mummy tak dapat handle (sebab sifat ni dapat dari daddy lah ni hehe)

Mummy has gotta be strong so that Ameer Faheem will learn to be strong too!

10th December is about to end~

orang kata harini gerhana bulan, 10th December 2011. Guess what? i can't even remember the science behind it... and I don't know what should I look for.. my mind does fail me..

It's a wonderful day.. because I have abang today. Uh I guess I only have him on saturday. Went out with him and Faheem... to get me a birthday present gee~ Thank you abang for the wonderful gift!

Org lain sibuk tengok gerhana, but I think of Ummi much! Rindunya kat Ummi... A birthday does reminds us of the one who sacrifices much for us, doesn't it?

Today Ameer Faheem starts brushing his teeth (I do it for him of course while he keeps trying to bite the toothbrush). The decision was made because he eats chocolate everyday. He roams the house all the time (he's excited that he can walk). He gets funnier day by day~

Oh 11th December is approaching...

Oh today is my birthday. Nothing special to me, but a special reminder for Ummi of course of the pain that she endured and the joy that she experienced, exactly on the same date, 25 years ago... Thank you for everything!

I am 25 years older than 25 years ago of course haha. Abang wanted to do something special for the occasion (although I was more interested in snuggling under thick blanket), and yes we decided to go to Papa John JUST BECAUSE we wanted to take photos at the same place as 1 and a half year ago, celebrating abang's birthday!

Another project~ done!

Oooopsss nampak gigi rabbit Faheem! Tgk ada wound kat tepi mata... ter'accident' dengan stroller when he was playing with it.

My little polar bear

I was planning on making cushions but it was diverted by another cheeky idea- i made a bagpack instead for my baby! And it was hand-sewn!! (I don't have a sewing machine btw)

Sewing the finishings..

Halfway through... took me 2 days to complete this

Tadaa!! the front view

backview

isi pampers faheem ;p

Well, maybe i should start working on the cushions

Calling it home

After almost half a year (or more if I add up my previous visits) in Jordan, I find that Jordan is not so bad as I've thought before. Adapting isn't always easy, but it comes naturally with time I guess.

I remember when I first came to Jordan, the first 2 weeks were the tourism week. When you visit a place for the first time, you get all excited. A tourist. Entering the third week, it is not as wonderful as before. I started whining for the differences between Jordan and Malaysia. Approaching 1 month, there was nothing I wouldn't give to be home. Experiencing winter for the first time (this year is actually my second as I was here during the previous winter), I just couldn't believe that such a cold place exists on this earth and furthermore inhabited by human!

I remember, the first thing that I whined about was cocoa powder. I wanted to bake a choc cake but it was so hard to find cocoa powder. And I said to abang, "Don't Jordanians bake choc cake??" Haha.Most of the time I whine about food ingredients which are not available here. Then the food. Sebenarnya abang tak biasa dengan benda2 pelik that I want. Specifically- what a woman want. There was one time when abang and me went to a tailor to ask about jahit tepi. Man, we all laughed when abang didn't know what to say to the tailor, throughout his 6 years in Jordan, he has never been to a tailor, so understandably his vocabulary of sewing thingy is nil.

Then I felt so weird why did Jordanians love brown. Anything brown. Brown/gold cushion, curtains, bedsheet etc. Everything. I said to abang, "Susah betul nak cari kain bercorak kat sini" Abang said, maybe they love brown because they live in a desert haha. So I brought my curtains, pillow cases, comforters, tablecloth, kitchen towel, apron (everything) all the way from malaysia haha. I love english rose pattern.

Because I am so bored at home, we go out every weekend- to balad (town). Abang used to go there once in a year but since I'm here, the frequency increases to weekly ;p Slowly I learn that Jordan is actually colourful ! And I actually think that once i go back to malaysia, I will miss a part of here. Especially balad! ;p We get quality things at cheap prices (what I love most are the soft toys for Ameer faheem and his clothes). I can find sweet potato in Jordan to make kuih keria. They do have delicious halawiyat! They have english rose curtains. There are times when i look at bedsheet and feel like, "ahhh, I just have to buy his one. it is so sweet!". And guess what I found yesterday????

COLOURFUL CLOTHS!

And yeah, my sewing projects begin here ;p I plan to make cushion cover for Ameer faheem (yang suka sangat dengan bantal tu), and blouses for me~

Projek ibu dan anak lalala~

Budak yang suka dengan bantal banyak!!!! Sampai golek2 atas bantal, daddy kata macam kucing ;p

A is for Apple, B is for bee, C is for car and clouds

G is for giraffe. Eh giraf takde mata and mulut lagi

N is for nest

T is for tree, S is for sun (snake tak siap lagi)

I just want to share a project which I've started not a long time ago, still under construction and yet to be finished ;D

Tentulah projek ibu yang banyak sangat masa hehe

I started teaching faheem ABC, alif ba ta and numbers since few months ago. Well till now I don't know whether he understands any of it, he can't even speak haha~ I don't mind anyway, it is just a fun playtime activity and of course I'm not that serious as for now.

Since we came back to Jordan, I [ehemm-cough, cough] have been informed that Piyah aka Pipi aka Safiyya Amani has been attending homeschool- kat rumah nenek! Well that kinda motivated me to [cough *you know] be at least at par with the our great homeschool teacher- NENEK! We learnt to read at quite a young age, taught by Ummi. in fact I attended kindergarten for 2 days only, before I quickly became fed-up with the morning session (because i had to wake up early haha).

BUT only RECENTLY... I received a super trustable news from the very great teacher herself (NENEK) that Pipi actually goes to school for 1 hour per day only which is from 12pm to 1pm. And out of that 1 hour, she only studies for 5 to 10 minutes depending on her mood, and spend the rest of the time roaming nenek's house!!! How funny my dear pipi hehe. Miss her much!

So back to my home-kindergarten, I made ABC cards and paste them on Ameer faheem's bedroom wall. And I drew and cutout pictures as example for each letter.

Here goes:

A is for apple

B is for bee

C is for car and clouds

D is for Daddy

E is for elephant

F is for faheem

G is for giraffe

H is for house

I is for inchworm

J is for Jamalun (Camel)

k is for kite

L is for lion

M is for mummy

N is for Nest

O is for owl and orange

P is for panda and pumpkin

Q is for quack

R is for rabbit and rainbow

S is for snake and sun

T is for tree

U is for umbrella

V is for vegetables

W is for Wolf

X is for X-ray

Y is for yellow yacht

Z is for zebra

Well really i have no other things to do...see I list down everything from A to Z!!! Hahahaha~

But as mentioned before, the project is still underway. So I post the pics of few examples which I have pasted. Well let's make learning a joyful experience! :D

Soal hati..

Have been writing and keeping it to myself lately. Probably because of their melancholic nature. I'm getting more and more emotional these days ahaha~

I'm the type of person who 'absorb' experiences quite excellently. Uh in a simpler way of explaining, I tend to internalize things that I see, I hear, etc into emotions, perceptions and even dreams thus explaining the frequent nightmares haha. For example if I (be it accidentally) hear somebody talking about simple robbery, I will usually dream about some high level robbery committed by hideous monsters armed by extra modern guns etc occurring in some nightmarish planet. That is how advance my imagination goes. Heyy it's not like I'm enjoying any bit of it, but yes it happens almost everyday huu~ Thus abang has these been carrying out these protective measures to at least minimize the imagination huu, for example, prohibition from watching freaking videos, prohibition from listening to frightening stories, no involvement in weird discussions etc..

Abang has been careful...too careful until yesterday morning when he 'invited' me to watch a video- it was actually a recording from a tv show, interviewing a mother and her 20+ year old son who lives like husband and wife after the death of her husband (which is the son's father). They are Indonesians, and they are proud to own up. How gruesome! Doing something wrong from religious aspect (any religon, man. i don't know whether they are muslims or not but if they are then it is even more messed up!) is one thing. Not realizing it is wrong from the fitrah aspect is another thing. Not feeling ashame to own up is even more unbelievable! Appearing on TV as if to tell the world, "Hey, what's wrong with that?" is so killing my sanity. They are INSANE. Oh only insane people can do that. And oh insanity can also run in family~

I didn't finish watching it, I just couldn't challenge my sanity. What kind of world am I living in right now? I kept thinking about it, and yes I still can't get it out of my mind~ How awful...

Speaking about other things...

Abang came back home on Wednesday telling me...,"Junior abang baru admitted kat hospital KAUH. AML (Acute Myeloid Leukemia)"

Me... "Siapa?"

Abang.... "Ilham Ellani. Dia MINDEF"

I replied.."Dia presented dengan apa?"

Abang..."Tak sure, abang tak tengok dia lagi. Bahaya ke?"

Me..."Kata cancer..." I refused to explain and discuss further

Friday... Ameer Faheem and me waited in front of Yarmuk Univ Mosque for abang to finish his friday prayer. When abang arrived, a friend of him came to us... explaining about Ilham's father who is coming to Jordan but needs regular dialysis. he asked abang about the procedure in KAUH

Abang..."Macamana ye nak buat dialysis?"

Me... "Abang kena tanya KAUH la procedure macamana.. Lama ke ayah dia nak duduk sini?"

Abang..."Sampai dia sembuh"

Me... "Oh ayah dia pindah sini terus ke?" (if you are a doctor [even if you are not], you will realize that leukemia is not a disease that comes and go like cough and flu.....)

Abang... "mmmm..."

Saturday...

Abang was in the toilet, I checked my FB.

al-fatihah buat ilham ellani..moga rohnya d tempatkn bersama mereka yg beriman..dr ALLAH kita dtg, kpd ALLAH jua kita kembali... cukuplah mati itu sebagai peringatan..

Me... "Abang!!!!!! Junior abang yg AML nama apa? Ilham Ellani ke?"

Abang..."Haah. kenapa?"

Me... "Dia dah meninggal....Diorng britahu dlm FB"

Abang... "Hah?????" He came out of the toilet to check his FB...

Innalillahiwainnalilaihi rajiun...

Tak habis palpitation tengok video mengarut... kini berita kematian dia menambah sesak di dada. Sesak dengan sebak dan sayu.

Aku tak pernah mengenali dia yang bernama Ilham Ellani. Tak pernah bersua wajah, juga tak pernah mendengar ceritera tentangnya. Cuma namanya meniti dibibir abang saat2 akhir kehidupannya. Tapi mungkin kerana ikatan aqidah, dia yang tidak pernah sebelum ini mencelah jalan cerita kami, pemergiannya untuk selama-lamanya mengundang seribu kesayuan. Dia yang tak pernah kukenali tapi Allah hadirkan dia dalam hidupku walaupun cuma untuk seketika, sebagai pengajaran yang cukup mengusik jiwa. Ilham Ellani baru sahaja pergi, dan apa yang pasti aku PASTI AKAN menyusulinya...

moga roh Ilham Ellani ditempatkan bersama roh orang2 yang beriman dan bertaqwa...moga roh kami jua suatu hari nanti...

Memang cukup mati itu sebagai pengajaran. Yang ditinggalkan akan meratapi, tapi yang pergi pasti lebih banyak urusannya... Ya Allah permudahkan urusan kami semua seusai meninggalkan dunia..