Ini cerita malam tadi

Last night I went to Medical ward (8b and 8c) to look for branula (the needle poked into a patient for drug or fluid adminstration) as I was determined to at least fill something in my logbook (we could ask for the Dr's signature when we do procedures like inserting a branula or taking blood).

To my surprise, my first patient was an englishman probably in his 50s or 60s. He had stroke with left sided paralysis. I gulped when I realized I had to insert a branula in him, simply because he was surrounded by so many family members!!! And I just knew how the westerners are like....

I didn't ask about his background. But when i talked to a woman (I assumed she was the wife), the woman asked me to talk to the patient himself. You know they expect the Doctor-Patient relationship to flourish haha. And of course they didn't know that I was just a medical student!

Then when I had all the things ready, I asked for the patient's permission and started to work on the branula. I was so unlucky when the family members crowded around me, getting closer and closer, trying to get a good view of what I was about to do. 

And you know how westerners are like, they are CURIOUS unlike us. They are thirsty for INFORMATION, again unlike us. Inserting a branula is like bread and butter of ward work, but the family memebrs turned it into an amazing experience for them~ merely by watching a medical student inserting a branula!! hahahahaha

Ok, here's the story---->

I pushed the blood-taking trolley to the patient's bedside. They watched the trolley in a very interested manner

I put the necessary things into the kidney dish, and they looked eager to know the list of things..

I wore the disposable gloves, and they kind of 'usha' my hands haha- pakai glove pun best ke. I thought they were trying to see how sterile would I go. So aku yg jahat ni put on the gloves slowly, giving them the curiosity of watching me at work haha.

Then I searched for a chair pulak, and sat on it, and took the patient's hand trying to search for a big vein (well I can only insert a branula in a BIG vein, otherwise it won't go in. I am not an expert at it actually :p)

Pastu pukul2 the dorsum of the hand (the medical students would know that this is the trick done by the nurses to make the veins more visible as if they are going to jump out of the skin!)

So when I was about to push in the needle- that was the CLIMAX! They came closer and mimicked the angle of my hand, give running commentary just like the Croc Hunter, telling each other that a doctor need to be very skillful, and the angle of needle insertion has to be precise bla bla bla. It was really funny. 

And then they asked regarding the heparin, its purpose, so I enjoyed the extra minutes explaining to them that it is used to prevent blood clotting haha (a first year medical student pun dah tahu, so i am far from brainy by knowing that hehe, but you know still it was kinda enjoying to do the explanation. Sungguh jahat)

Finally they were curious about the tegaderm- the clear plastic used to secure the branula in place. And I sadly explained the last bit- regretting that the session has ended hehehehe

By the way, what I learnt from that event, it won't hurt me to ask silly questions. It may sound silly to others but if it is going to be beneficial for me then why not?? And I am going to train my kids to be curious and outspoken just like the westerners, so very opposite of me :)

Rare cases and a CAMERA

Alhamdulillah I have presented the ovarian teratoma case to Dr Azha this morning :D And today I managed to observe quite a number of cases in the operation theatre.

There are just soo many things to tell within such a short time huu. I'm having a headache but it DEFINITELY has to go away (because if it doesn't then I'm going to pretend its disappearance huhu) as I am determined to go to the ward tonight.

Early this morning I started my day by visiting my patient (an 8 year old girl with ovarian teratoma), and one couldn't be more true if they say I was dead anxious to present the case huu. But to my expectation the patient was far more anxious and frightened than me. She is still very young, and the idea of undergoing an operation was very unacceptable to her! So I sat beside her bed, talked nonsensely (my expertise haha) to her. Her mum planted the idea that she was going for a photography session, then I said she would even sleep during the session, and would only wake up after the 'photography' session had ended. A thin (normal la kan) and small sized girl, she gave me the permission to do the inspection on her abdomen. And I made a fuss and excitedly asking her whether she had got a baby inside hahaha. She looked exactly like a pregnant women in probably 6 months of pregnancy!! Sungguh comel hehe- a mini mum! But of course the real truth threatens to be ugly as malignancy (cancer) couldn't be ruled out huu (how much luckier I am not to be tested with such thing~ entahkan aku mampu bersabar dengan keimanan yang tipis ini). Itu cerita dalam ward

This morning I was appointed (unofficially of course) by the surgeon (Dr Anita) to be the camerawoman in the operation theatre, using her camera. Ovarian teratoma in an 8 year old girl is rare! And a huge one~ At that time I really wanted to have my own photos. For the previous rare cases which I had the chance to witness, I used Hana's handphone camera to capture all the photos, or sometimes (for example in the siamese twin delivery) I used the nurses' haha. Menumpang orang je tau~ The thing is my handphone is not equipped with a camera haha how uncivilized :p Ummi's handphone pun ade camera. Then I was desperate as the surgeon was about to cut the patient and plucked off the ovary, but I still didn't have any picture of the cute girl. Huu sedih sedih, truthfully at that time I was determined to buy a camera on the very same day.  And to be truthful, I didn't manage to capture any personal picture until the operation has ended. Sedih sangat la konon2nya.. Suddenly I was reminded of Asma' who suggested that I buy a camera..

After a while I joined the operation in the next operation theatre (OT). Placenta praevia with suspected placenta accreta. Placenta accreta is a very much rarer event (which was emphasized by Dr Anita in a surprised tone when I innocently asked her in not a very interested voice haha, "Is it rare?"). And the OT was packed with paeds doctors, O&G doctors, nurses, very much similar to the delivery of simaese twin. Surgery was conducted by Dr Hakim (my mentor hehe). I was excited to look at the placenta becuase I thought they were going to take out the uterus as well and I would be able to appreciate the adhesion of the placenta to the uterine wall, take some pics etc. Again I felt upset when I realized that I had no camera (by the way Hana for some reason didn't join the operations today so i couldn't use her handphone camera)

Until Zohor I kept thinking of buying a camera and Asma's suggestion. Then I took a nap. I pondered upon the matter for such a long time and in such an unimaginable depth.. until afterwards I felt so upset with myself huuu

I think I am most ungrateful with whatever that I have. When I was about to enter clinical years, I asked abah for a car. He bought Shika Jr and lends it to me. It makes my life much easier but then there are so many people without a car. Ada yg anak dah 3 orang pun tak mampu beli kereta, then I realized how arrogant I am...

I still have lavender-kun and I am thinking of buying a new laptop huhuhuu (for some reason which i thought I could justify huu) , luckily my fiance was fiercely against it.

ALHAMDULILLAH :)

And now I feel sad JUST because I don't have a camera when everbody else's handphones are equipped with 1~ my dear batul, do you realize that you are being so UNREASONABLE??

So I push away the thought of buying a camera huu, I guess a handphone is enough. And He gives me a good brain which can store the images of the rare cases which I have encountered insyaAllah. THANK YOU ALLAH!

The fact and fate finally accepted! Err it's not very suitable for reading huu

I guess my "be-happy' regime works so far (hahaha) Alhamdulillah, does one really need a regime just to be happy??? (wonder.. wonder) :p But today I managed to FINALLY almost finish my part of the obs notes- save 2: Obs Analgesia & post partum haemorrhage (huu after such a looong time), and because I have decided that I should at last act like a mature and responsible medical student (and here I am innocently wondering why does that sounds so weird and nerdy??) and happily accept the fact that I'm an MS!! btw MS doesn't mean Multiple Sclerosis or Mitral Stenosis, it is the nurses' way of addressing Medical Student~

So here I am feeling happy despite being at the end of 4th week of O&G posting and my logbook is far from full.. no worry, it signals that i have to work harder :) And so many things just don't work the way i want them to be but then again almost everything in this world happens to be like that (huh). 

If I were to be given the opportunity to choose, then I would choose to be the Sleeping Beauty (it coincides with my main interest which is sleeping) huu, and wait for a handsome prince to come my way, plant a kiss which would waken me up in a dreamland. But still in reality I choose to stay wide awake in the labour room (though sometimes i keep drifting into dreamless slumber in the ward pantry huu) or roaming the gloomy HTAA compound (probably because I am guessing it right that nobody is going to fulfill the silly dream of the sleeping beauty hehe:p), clad in the ugly and much-despised white coats (instead of flowing glittering white ball gown or lacey and frilly sweet white nighties embedded with cute silk pink roses), allowing my olfactory receptors to recognize & digest the nauseating smell of liquour and ketone breath (well I'm going to smell that way when I deliver a baby as well huu) instead of delightfully enjoying the scent of lovely chocolate fragrance or the homely bread smell in our kitchen..

I choose to force myself to stay wide awake while enduring 'boring' yet extremely important lectures in the dull lecture halls or the not-so-attractive seminar rooms instead of lazing around with Ummi watching Indonesian sinetron (gah)

I choose to be drilled while doing presentations to the Doctors or to be scolded by the nurses  instead of relaxing at home enjoying cup after cup of chocolate drink while entertaining myself with books (because obviously i don't really drink caffeine, including cappucino haha)

So the point is, if one think being a doctor is glamorous, then the person is deviated 36o degrees! I have choosen a path which i was not familiar with (there isn't even a doctor in my family), i have gone through the long and extra dark phase of resentment and regret, BUT I THINK (lately) i have just started to accept everything with gratitude :) Alhamdulillah I think I am in the acceptance phase :) How I hope I will continue to be in acceptance throughout the worst period which is housemanship years!

But still in the not-so-bright a life, He continues to entertain me with things that I love doing (hehe). Occasioanlly the poor MS still had the chance to step into the cool shopping complex last week.. and treated myself to a pair of wedges! (hahaha) 

And because I am not-so-happy-to-go-to-the-hospital-yet-i-feel-so-guilty, He send the rain (the dark clouds threaten me with buffaloes-and-elephant rain) so that it justifies my feeling hehe. Alhamdulillah. But still the ovarian teratoma case which i intend to present in the operation theatre tomorrow awaits me (hopefully i can present huu)

If i still have the chance, I would like to say thank you to Ummi & Abah who had bravely and patiently endured my resentment and regret all these years , my extra dose of crying and sulking, my ample whining and stress huu

Thank you to my sisters who have shown their endless support in my accidental quest to become a doctor.

My 2 brothers whom I love very much just for being my brothers!!

Thank you to my comrades who have helped me in going through the worst period in Kuantan, especially the clinical years huu

Thank you Kak fatin for your own recipe of Chicken Soup which managed to boost a little of my motivation

Thank you to those who have imparted their knowledge to me throughout my 23 years of life

Thank you Prof Nasa for the fatherly talk which succeded in planting a bit of positivism in me

Thank you to those who have existed in my life, excellently playing any role be it big or small in my life play

Thank you to you who have opened the gate of your life and allowed me to walk through it.. and be a significant part residing in your heart

above all, THANK YOU ALLAH for granting me such a wonderful life in this world, surrounded by wonderful people. And I am begging You for Your mercy and love to grant me with such wonderful life in the hereafter..