Followers

Thursday

A hopeless wife's hope

kek yg ditempah hari ni...

I'm trying to busy myself studying, when fact is i can't even concentrate properly huuu. I'm tired baking (plus shopping for necessities, sending the cakes to the warung etc) but at least those things make my day fruitful. If I were to be asked, what do I want the most right now- it's going home.. going back to Malaysia.

Kenapa nak balik sgt3 ni? I don't intend to hide the truth- my days are super miserable when abang isn't around :( No matter how extensively I tire myself baking and such~ Oh human can never feel enough, do you happen to know that? I do. Abang g mana? abang sibuk study la of course :) I want to work, work and work. The thing is I don't know the purpose of our existence in Jordan when abang isn't around much to enjoy it haihhh~ Mode: merindui abang sgt3 and abang, pleasssseeeeee bagi isteri abang balik kerja heh heh

Oh how I hope I can sleep now and wake up after abang's graduation and then we can have a long nice holiday together!!!

Last night I dreamt of ummi and abah, that they have arrived in jordan. How wonderful! Bila terbangun....alaaaaaa mimpi je? :(

Faheem? adorable as always Alhamdulillah. Resembling mummy more and more. Emotional and such. Hobby dia cari makanan kat dapur (korek fridge and cabinet). Call Daddy 'Athiq' instead of 'Daddy'. Mummy tak jemu2 amalkan ayat untuk bagi faheem kuat ingatan, saranan dari auntie farah ;p Ayat sanuqriuka fala tansaa.. moga faheem membesar jadi anak soleh, bijak, dan membela Islam! InsyaAllah

Friday

A constant reminder...


Alhamdulillah hari ni baru boleh nak bangun lepas 3 hari terbaring. Seperti biasa, muntah, cirit birit, bloating, sakit perut. Lately the symptoms become more frequent, as frequent as any woman's menstruation huu. I wonder why.. Nak kata food poisoning, I'm the only experiencing them. abang tak pun. I try to associate them with hormonal surge etc, but it doesn't match.

I like to tell abang, "Abang tahu tak, kenapa orang tak serik mengandung? sebab diorang ngandung teruk, lepastu diorng dah lupa cmne teruknya ngandung, pastu teringin nak ngandung lagi, and during the next pregnancy, baru diorng serik semula. Tapi ayang tak mengandung pun asyik muntah2 macam org ngandung, jadi ayang tak sempat nak hilang serik, jadi serik semula." Huuu. Alasan. And then I will continue rambling something that sounds like, "Abang tahu tak, orang mengandung ni pahala dia besar sgt3. sebabnya mengandung ni susah...bla..bla..bla.." Abang seperti biasa akan jawab, "Abang nak ayang dapat pahala banyak sebab tu kena mengandung selalu" dan aku selalu akan mengelat, "tapi kalau kita diuji macam tu dan kita tak dapat bersabar, selalu merungut, nanti pahala pun hilang, bimbang dosa yang bertambah" huuu.

I personally really want to have a baby girl, sepasang dengan Ameer Faheem :) Nama pun dah lama ada, tunggu nak panggil tuannya je. But when i think of the pregnancy period it becomes like some sort of a phobia huu. Maybe Allah wants Ameer Faheem to be ready to be a good big brother before he can have a little sister.. Allah's plan is always the best!

Disebabkan hari ni baru berselera, terus teringin nak buat nasi goreng cina! teringin juga nak makan bihun goreng ummi huuu. Teringin nak lasagna, semualah teringin. But first I have to clear up the kitchen yang macam tongkan pecah setelah 3 hari tak dibersihkan huuu.

p/s: nak tahu tak Ameer Faheem suka buat apa sekarang? Dia suka mengamuk guling2 atas lantai! Instead of feeling angry towards him, aku selalu tergelak tengok dia macamtu, and tell abang, "Skit lagi dia guling2 atas lantai supermarket sebab tak dapat apa yang dia nak!" Perangai dia macam abang kecik2 (mengikut sumber yang sahih), tp aku lebih cool dari abang in handling his emotional burst. He is learning to deal with his emotions, let him be... :) alhamdulillah makin dewasa faheem ni, dah pandai nak beremosi.

Baru beberapa hari lepas, abang cerita yang waktu dia kecik, dia mengamuk sebab dia nak perhatian mak. Tapi bila mak datang, dia mengamuk lagi, dan mak tinggalkan semula. Dia sambung mengamuk sambil dalam hati berazam, kalau kali ni mak datang, dia akan senyap, tapi perkara sama berulang, dia tak senyap pun. Semalam aku suap faheem kek, tapi sebab lambat faheem mengamuk guling2 atas lantai. Bila pujuk dia, dia semakin reda, bila nak suap semula kek, dia mengamuk, bila aku tak suap, semakin kuat mengamuk. Perangai sebiji macam abang hahahaha. Nak tegelak tengok budak kecik ni. Cuma faheem ni mudah sgt3 untuk dipujuk :) bagi makanan, peluk dia, dia pun ok!

february 2012

It's already February, how time flies. I'm bracing myself for perhaps the toughest time since I graduated 8 months ago (uish lamanya dah berkarat ilmu :()- and that time would be.... abang's preparation period for his final exam. He won't b around much (busy studying with his friends) and leave poor me and Faheem at home to enjoy each other's company huuu.

Now I'm thinking of expanding my baking business seriously- creating a blog to advertise the cakes, taking orders and such. I'm also busy sewing btw, abang terkasima tengok isteri dia gigih jait tgn hahaha. Hopefully I'll get my sewing machine soon huu, hopefully... ameen. Aku jahit apa? Haruslah jahit baju sendiri haha. Abang asks me to sew something for him (since faheem has got a hand-sewn backpack), but i'm not in the mood yet. Well if you can imagine, abang drowning himself in his sea of notes (which I just can't imagine the purpose of doing that. a note at a time is more than adequate i guess haha), while i busy myself besides him making my coats and blouses and skirts haha. From time to time he throws an inquisitive glance towards me who is measuring my own body and trying them on in front of the mirror to make alterations. If I am in the mood, then I'll open my text book and study with him. Studying without any clinical experience isn't really fun. Oh yes I wish (for every single day) that I can put on my whitecoat and join em ward rounds huuu, but I don't want to be far from abang again..

If you ask me whether I think of going back to malaysia, oh yeah for every fraction of second! Abang has no objection to that, but I am afraid that once I start working, I can't apply for a long leave, which i absolutely need :( nak ikut abang g jalan this july huhuu.

Speaking of faheem, we have stopped sending him to school (his schooling days lasted for a month only haha), considering atuk's worry. Faheem ni kan, suka sgt buat perangai sekarang ni haih. Suka tantrum bila tak dapat barang. Tantrum bila org tak teman dia main (for example when abang is out, I prefer to sit on the bed, surfing the net. Faheem in contrast wants to play in the lounge), his 'knack' symptom makin menjadi2 sekarang ni (only today we found a missing electric socket on the wall in our bedroom!). Most of the times I really don't know how to handle this exceptionally genius lad huuu, oh really..... (will continue later. the lil boss is crying)