Today's pessimism

I shouldn't feel too happy in view of my unfinished case write-up. And yet I'm thinking of starting the second one huu because I'm pretty sure I won't have time to do it when Athiq is around ~sigh~ a not so hectic life of Family Medicine nowadays but yet tiring.. I wonder why. How I hope Athiq will appear this instant right in front of me huu~ Another 9 days that of course are perceived as 9 years before his arrival, really I can't wait for that moment! May Allah be with us along the way..

Family Medicine isn't that bad. Especially when I have started to feel at ease roaming the KK Beserah compound plus lazing around and socializing with my group mates in the discussion room (uprolling my eyeballs. Huh, such a blissful life) Well, the scandal was there, yet I feel indifferent. I guess people can spit on my face and I can remain feeling indifferent huu. A very schizophrenic trait which I'm having- living in my own world haha (with my family of course).

Lately I enjoy the clinic posting so much. Especially when Dr Aznan takes the class. Why? Empowering. Because I feel that he gives us chances to handle patients, of course under his supervision. And I am currently feeling very excited to manipulate the Ultrasound machine hahaha (Ah-Long Dude, we definitely have an important mission before the posting ends!! :P)

And today Ah-Long Dude and me spent quality time in the Emergency Room, doing wound dressing (incompetently of course) and venepuncture. Of course my patient, a nenek who had diabetic foot 'berleter' throughout the procedure because she was not really confident in me hahaha, I just pretended that I was deaf. In this kind of thing where skill is needed, you won't get the skill if you don't practise. And in the process of acquiring the skill, of course many will complain. It is as if they are made to be 'guinea pig'. It's quite true in a sense. As if I have other options... (sigh again).

I am still brooding over the Ulu Tembeling riverine trip, especially when Abang will be in Kedah for 1 week while I face the river with fear, and phobia and anxiety huu that is so unfair :(. I am hoping for the impossible- for him to join the trip. What a pathetic childish wish.

Anyway, Good Luck Abang in your final exam :) Do your best! Happy Fasting everybody

This is the first entry REALLY3 MEANT FOR PUBLIC :D

I don't know how do I end up in the industry, but fact is I guess I am now a self-authorized dealers of abaya, jubah, blouses and tudung huu and huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. It's not my business actually (as I personally think that I should start a business with a different nature, namely.....) but I'm helping my stepmum to expand her business.. and since I like blogging so much, I think abah is trying to hint that I should at least do something profitable rather than mumbling aimlessly here haha, so I guess that's it. Do visit ummuameerboutique.blogspot.com (Yeah yeah I know I'm taking all the fame by putting my name 'Ummu Ameer's Boutique' haha, but hey I am the one who created the new blog geee so I guess there's nothing really wrong with that..) Nak tengok2 je pun boleh, kalau nak beli lagi bagus :D But I have to apologize before hand for the terrible photos, because
1. First, I don't have the wealth to hire a professional photographer
2. It wasn't me (who took the photograph) or else it would be worse
3. My sis took the photos in half an hour, and she had to cover racks and racks of jubah, she was so tired and I think she got a hypoglycaemic attack thus the tremor huhu
4. I was rushing to go back home from my stepmum's house because I had a virtual YM date with A'thiq so I urged Asma' to just take whatever pic that she could and get done with it.

Haven't uploaded many more, so keep checking it out k (the blog) :)

A love letter for Abang from his wife who is madly in love.

I should be reading the latest Diabetes CPG for the tutorial tomorrow.. and yet I can't stop myself from writing this..
Yes? Oh yes, I'm in such a fragile mood. After the old folk home visit? Nope. Missing abang? Of course. Worried about something? Sure. Depressed? Of course not. Going home? InsyaAllah tomorrow! :p
Well, I mentioned once that I was eagerly waiting for something. I guess it won't be a secret anymore huu. It's abang's homecoming in 2 weeks time insyaAllah :)

I dedicate this song to abang (have been listening to it for quite some time but TODAY, it gives me a new meaning...). And today it moves me to tears.. the emotional me? Oh it's just me missing abang every now and then

Di daun yang ikut mengalir lembut

Terbawa sungai ke ujung mata

Dan aku mulai takut terbawa cinta

Menghirup rindu yang sesakkan dada

Jalanku hampa dan kusentuh dia

Terasa hangat oh didalam hati

Kupegang erat dan kuhalangi waktu

Tak urung jua kulihatnya pergi

Tak pernah kuragu dan slalu kuingat

Kerlingan matamu dan sentuhan hangat

Ku saat itu takut mencari makna

Tumbuhkan rasa yg sesakkan dada

Chorus 2x:

Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja

Semua kutrima apa adanya

Mata terpejam dan hati menggumam

Di ruang rindu kita bertemu

Abang, everything about that song is true, except for the 'Kau datang dan pergi oh begitu saja' because I know pemergian abang adalah satu perjuangan yang kita saling merelakan, kepulangan abang adalah saat yg sangat3 dinantikan, dan antara dua itu, kita saling merindu..

I cracked jokes and laughed when I sent you back to Jordan for the first time after our marriage..
Would I be able to laugh for the second time?
I prevented myself from crying when you kissed me goodbye
Would I be able to do that again?
I keep teasing you now when I see you cry while webcaming or during phone calls
I wonder can I stay that calm after this?
I have (after trying very hard) adjusted and adapted to your absence
Would I be able to adjust following another separation?

And for all those reasons.. I'm worried of your homecoming because it will surely lead to the second separation. And yet I miss you unnegotiably, abang! Abang, be patient for another 1 1/2 year ok :) Surely you can do it!