Faheem

Maybe it's time for me to jot down something.. 1 week more before the final exam.. and me? I'm working hard to at least make the log book 'passable' huhuu.

Yesterday Faheem went for his 1st month checkup + vaccination. And his weight? 3.8kg Alhamdulillah :) There's a hikmah why he was born 1 month earlier I'm sure hehe or else I'd have a hard time to push him out!

Breastfeeding? Not progressing that well haih, well I'm not supposed to give an excuse that I'm busy, but truth is, really I fail to exclusively breastfeed him huu. It's an emotional roller coaster for me. First, people keep saying that I'm undernutritioned, thus explaining Faheem's continuous cry due to hunger huu. Susu badan tak cukup zat lah, susu sikit lah sebab tu Faheem lapar walaupun dah menyusu etc. Sedih jugak when I remember that abang has spent not a small amount of money to buy the breastpump, bottles etc. Sedih when I feel that I'm unable to provide him with the luxury of breastmillk. When you say exclusive breastfeeding, it is not just in the sense that you don't mix it with formula milk, but really breastfeeding a baby is a labour motivated by love indeed. And everytime I breastfeed him, I should say, "From mummy with love!" haha. Truth is, Faheem memang lapar. Just imagine that he can finish 6oz of milk when normal baby drinks 2oz 2 hourly! I keep asking him "Ada jin ke dalam perut faheem ni?? Huuu" Kalau baby biasa feeds for 20 minutes, Faheem ni sejam pun tak cukup huhu, serious macam kebuluran. well he's famished all the time anyway. And really I can't stay up all night breastfeeding him when I have a hectic schedule waiting for me every single day.. another excuse perhaps..

Having a baby provides one with a way different kind of life. I have to fit my schedule into his schedule haha. But despite all that, just looking at him give me such a happiness that nobody can explain. Watching him growing up (or even better- pumping his body up!) presents me with a satisfaction that only a mother can understand. And at times, I just sit down and unbelievably ask myself, "I am a mother? Really, I am a mother?" and I would just say Alhamdulillah for everything that Allah has bestowed on me.

Faheem ni pelik sikit, sebab mulut dia bisng sangat2! I think he takes after the dad who is talkative haha. kan abang kan? He doesn't cry much, but he produces all kind of sounds which can be lumped into 'engine rosak' name anything. enjin kereta rosak, radio rosak, enjin motor rosak etc, and sometimes macam bunyi Tot! I want to write more on Faheem, the things that he does to brighten my everyday mundane life.. but perhaps some other time..