Ramadhan dah bertamu, memang kesayuan tika kali pertama dia menjengah menggigit jiwa. Syahdu. Mungkin lebih dirasai bilamana Ameer Faheem dan abang jauh di kampung.

Kesibukan bekerja membuatkan aku sering terlupa bahawa aku dalam fatrah istimewa. Terkadang begitu rindu saat aku kaya dengan waktu untuk ber'malas'an atas sejadah, berehat dengan al quran, bertarung di dapur menyiapkan juadah abang dan Faheem. Rindu juga untuk menapak ke masjid dengan abang dan faheem.. Rindu untuk menghabiskan masa dengan insan insan yang hatinya begitu merindukan Tuhan supaya aku juga jadi begitu..

Kehidupan kini jauh berbeza. Mungkin pernah sekali dua sahaja aku masak semenjak mula bekerja. Mungkin pernah sekali dua sahaja aku mandikan hero kami, atau basuh beraknya. Mungkin pernah sekali dua sahaja aku benar2 memberi abang ruang untuk bermanja dengan isteri.

Saban hari aku bertanya pada diri, benarkah jalan yang dipilih? Bukankah Ameer Faheem satu pelaburan yang usia mudanya harus aku jaga dan penuhkan dengan didikan? Sedangkan jika ditanya apa yang Ameer Faheem isi kedalam perutnya setiap hari pun, aku gagal berikan jawapan...

Hati kecewa dan kecewa.. Benarlah kata seorang ilmuwan, tanggungjawab yang tersedia melangkaui waktu yang ada..

Moga Allah sentiasa memandu setiap langkah hambaNya,,

I've always considered myself as a professional 'chess' player, arranging my knights and armies to fulfill a pre-planned strategies while deciding when and where will the pawns actually become sacrifices as the troop advances. I have always have a plan well laid in the back of my mind, guiding me where to place the next step as I march on. And of course I am a person who always believe that the best plan of all plans belongs to Allah, and He has the final say.

It is an event of rarity where in the past months, I am at a severe loss as where to head to in life. I probably have arrived at a junction which I have been anticipating from time well stretched from the past, a junction where I can't see the fate over yonder, a junction which leaves me in an utterness of indecision.

It's Ramadhan again, and I'm still trying to figure out the best way of manipulating it. Probably this is the Ramadhan which brings with it the heaviest gravity of emotion..

And when 2 roads diverge, I just don't know which one to traverse..

Life as it is..

It has been a long while. I absolutely miss jotting down something as I breeze through life. It's indeed a short journey, and the worse thing is, we just breeze through it..

It's a rare Sunday off, the whole big family is taking a time out in Pulau Kapas, leaving me Ameer Faheem, Abang and bibik behind..

I don't have much to say except that I really hope I'll be done with Ortho soon. Time flies fast, as always.. and I'm entering my 4th month of Orthopaedic. CPCs all sent, CME presented and now for 2 more things to be done which are my MCQ and my Exhibition round. Haisyy.

Much has happened since I last wrote. I'll be going back to 5A starting tomorrow, spending my last month in a happening setting, I was appointed to be the timbalan penghuluwati, I've had my fair share of ups and downs of working, I am juggling hard my family life and career and keep them in a perfect balance, we celebrated our wedding anniversary in Laman Grill and treated ourself with a matching pair of handphones.

Life prescribes me with a continuous infusion of high dose of lethargy, but at the end of the day, it feels so good to return home to a caring husband and a cute kid. Alhamdulillah :)