The start of another non productive night

Today abang is doing night shift again. And tomorrow as well. I hate it when abang does night shift because ill always end up being not productive... AT ALL! The melancholic mood starts the minute he steps out of the door. I prepared ameer faheem's sleeping place ( oh he's a nomad now and sleeps in our room every single day on a make-shift bed huu). I pull down the curtains and blinds, switch on the fan, pull our blankets, and goodnight it is.. At 6pm huu. Occ i ransack the kitchen trying to find happy food, probably snickers that is hidden somrwhere but always to no avail, and i return to my gloomy niche, pull my blanket again, forcing my brain to shut down and sleep.

I miss abang to the moon and back

Life is like that. Goodbye housemanship

Things are normalizing though slowly. Faheem has started learning his alif ba ta, and that really got me excited! Alhamdulillah. Finally he can actually sit down and read. He read books also, which is fun.

Our fridge is not really functioning. It is a actually a hand-down item from my sister. Hers when she was still single, many years back. That really troubles me because i have started cooking regularly and it seems like i cant store frozen item. Only yesterday abang and me threw rotten frozen chicken and meat down the bin..what a waste.

Our washing machine is not functioning either. It was also a hand-down item from my sister, which wssbhanded down from her aunt in law haha. A small old semi-auto machine. How can it decide to retire at such an important moment. Just when i decide not to use the laundry service and pile up on our saving..

I am having trouble finding babysitter for ameer faheem... Because i still have night shifts and work on weekends..we are considering sending him back to kedah for the time being..just when i have started his reading sessions and teachings..

The process of buying our 1st house is still not settled yet..and our car door has been stuck for the past 2 months..we have to get in and out through the passenger door, all the while imagining we are driving a sport car with 1 door haha

I have started packing all the small indonesian tudung which i used during housemanship together with my white coat.. I dont wear white coat anymore. And i start to don back jubah and shawls just like before. Abang kata, "niqab please". I say no, not yet.

I have more time to laze around with al quran, feeling at peace just like before.. How i hope abang can join me soon insyaAllah..

Life is like that. Adjusting always aint easy.. But i have plants to water everyday and a home with a wonderful husband and kid to return to.. I'm blessed.

Lost

After 2 days of hol, finally i have to work today.. PM shift. I always feel empty and lost whenever abang is not around. Oh he has just left for work huu. And i will just sleep and sleep and become successfully non productive :( How i hope one day we can open our own clinic where abang and me can have our own consultation rooms. Then i can go to work with him and go back with him, how awesome :p

When i was about to finished my housemanship, abang 'prepared' me for independence. He brought me for handphone shopping, he repaired his motorcycle etc. You see for the past 4 months i dont have my own phone, i don't drive because i was in the same rotation with abang and i just couldnt be bothered with all those gadgets when abang was always by my side. When i first got my own phone after months, i felt sad. And i had to drive to work alone. I went shopping alone, life is not that wonderful anymore..

Oh how i miss abang..

New life

I am finally freee from the housemanship curse, though not that free as i have to join dengue team, with working hours more or less similar to that of a houseman. I dont have a choice but to despise it. I need weekends and i dont want to do night shift. But yes life has changed much. I shop for groceries nowadays. And i blog! Gosh. I have more time with ameer faheem. I start to do gardening! And i browse through cooking blog, and definitely cook. I'lk b indulging in healthy cooking from now on and yes i'm gonna update my lousy and abandoned virtual kitchen. Haihhh after 2 years i have like endless spring cleaning list to finish...