start anew

I think I'll start writing actively again as I realize that is what is keeping me on track--> writing.. I am currently feeling so wrecked.  Wrecked. Wrecked. I need my personal motivator but I think he is in an even greater need of one.. I cant walk straight when my backbone is not there. I cant look healthy and flushed when my heart is not functioning. Abang. Oh how I miss him. He's tagging in our legendary orthopaedic department.  And he is as good as a walking zombie.

If only I can describe how our life is right now---> trust me,there is nothing right about it. No better than the titanic after being hit by the storm and rough sea. Its all haywire and topsy turvy. Every single thing seems so wrong.. and The most wrong of all the wrong is.. I feel so far from Him and I hate that feeling.. which I think is not just a feeling but the truth... o ALLAH please guide us, please.. please..