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Thursday

Keyboard with missing letters

Do you have any idea how hard it is to blog when you have to think of all the hassle plugging in the laptop, searching for cable to connect to phone modem, fighting with your son for the keyboard...and on top of that you own a keyboard with many letters missing haihh.. thus the reason of my infrequent blogging activity past 2-3 years :p

Finally, yesterday, abang helped me to set up a workplace, where the laptop will always be plugged in with my printer at the side, connected to a wifi phone modem and a nice wide white table for abang and me to use together :) A cosy red carpet to accompany, a well behaved Ameer Faheem who understands mommy and daddy are working-at-home-mom-and-dad (on top of being doctors during office hour), plus... a keyboard with missing letters. Haha that one can't be avoided unless we buy a new one ;)

All set up, I am pretty sure i'll be blogging daily, now that i have 3 blogs to run, a fast growing online business, and priceless health and beauty tips to share!

I'll be sharing about Shaklee Collagen Powder- why every women should experience it, and why they should own them now in September 2014!

Feel free to visit drmaryamaziz.blogspot.com

Miracles Made Daily.. and today a new miracle is being spread!

Monday

when a wife is happy, the husband will definitely feels happy too (II)

Ni memang merapu meraban tahap extreme super saiya. Waktu tulis tajuk tu tadi, nak cerita benda lain. Tapi dah melalut sangat, tercerita benda lain. Pastu terpaska buat entry lain dengan tajuk sama, tapi siri 2. Kah kah kah

Nak cerita sebenarnya hari tu ada kawan ni tulis kat blog dia pasal a facial treatment that she had. It sounded so don't-ever-go-to-any-facial-if-you-don't-try-this. Sebab senang sangat terpengaruh, terus rasa nak pergi. As usual, I asked my big boss (who is not that big physically heh heh). Abang kata ok, so he drove me to Sungei Wang. And seperti biasa abang did all the talking, tanya orang kedai tu about the package, promo and such. Senyumlah isteri di hari tu sebab dapat buat facial.

Few days after that, the wife was attracted to another facial promotion. This time around in midvalley. This time around tanya big boss lagi, big boss kata ok. So we went to Midvalley. Memang best! Terus tanya abang whether I can enroll in their package. abang said yes, Alhamdulillah

When we went to Midvalley 2 weeks ago, I managed to 'visit' Tiamo, a korean shoe store. Before Raya, I went to Alamanda and spotted few pair of Tiamo's heels which I really want to own. However I didnt want to buy becuase I already had 2 pair of new shoes. But I work hard, and my shoes wont last for more than 2 months in average. Semua koyak. I dont mind having few extra pairs :) Setelah lama menahan nafsu, I am determined to own them this Thursday, when we go for my 2nd facial insyaAllah. Terpaksa kerja keras buat locum semata2 nak beli kasut Tiamo haha

When I was doing facial, the lady repeatedly (like thousand times) telling me how lucky I am to have a husband who is such a nice gentleman. I just smiled. Sometimes when I wake up in the middle of the night, I look at abang in his deep sleep and tell this to myself "If 1 day Allah takes him back, that will be the greatest test for you!" and I just feel like crying...

I dont find any harm if a husband treats his wife nicely. Because the wife will definitely treat him back nicely when she is happy :) I think marriage is about appreciating each other!

When a wife is happy, a husband defintiely will feel happy too!

Best tak tajuk tu? Hahaha. How I miss rambling here. I feel like a part of me is missing, dissolving into emptiness together with the abandonment of this blog.. But time is precious. Too precious such that I always yearn for at least 25 hours a day. Blame those who says we only have 24 hours in a day... sigh~ I can hardly find time to write here. Such a tragedy.

I haven't written about 'ME' things for quite a stretch...and for a longer stretch..I haven't written about US thing. Hmmm. Probably its true what they say.. the longer you involve yourselves into marriage, the higher the tendency to forget about US thing.. Oh maybe not.. because Alhamdulillah until now abang has never stopped treating me like his princess, not a slight different compared to the moment he slipped a ring into my finger. If there is, I think it is only because his treatment keeps getting better and better insyaallah :)

For one thing, Abang ni sporting. Sporting beyond words. I have never imagined before my marriage, that I would be married to a man who sacrifices everything that he has, every cent and every second for his wife and family. Dulu kriteria simple je: Solat cukup 5 waktu, tak merokok, tak panas baran. Itu je. Tak sangka bila melamar, tengok ada rupa, tahfiz quran, buat medic. Kata orang syokkk. Setelah tanya kawan2 dan family dia whether he has all 3 basic criteria that I have listed, he passed! Maka kahwinlah, And waktu kahwin, I was careful not to hope for anything. Probably because I come from a family where the men are conservative. haha. Men who says that women should sit at home and take care of the children while the men go out to work. You see, my father was the sole breadwinner of our family. He worked hard, but I have never seen him changing diapers of my younger bros. Simply becuse it is the job of a wife.

After marriage, I was stunned when abang celebrated all my opinions, more than his. He helped me with the dishes, laundry, ironing, he even helped me with petty things such as combing his wife' s hair. I was till being extra cautious because I thought it might be the honeymoon thingy haha.

Then I got pregnant. That was when the real scenario began. I was sick for quite long, bedridden for the first 2 months, with ugly mood swings. Still abang managed to be patient even when our bed was full of biscuit crumbs (i kept munching on biscuits to reduce gastritis), he was patient when i couldnt care less of self hygiene (although he did drag me to the toilet and forced me to bathe haha), he was patient and made tea for me the whole night to reduce the tummy bloatedness, he was patient when I crave for a food, and when he prepared it, I couldnt even tolerate the smell, let alone the taste. I thought it was merely because it was my first pregnancy, and I shouldnt hope for the same tretment after 2 years of marriage haha.

Then came Ameer Faheem. Well, who doesnt have postpartum blue? I did. Tak larat melayan appetite Ameer Faheem yang lapar all the time. Sebab tu berat from 2.6--> 3.8kg at 1 month old. Penat! Depressed! Semua ada. Selaku ibu yang muda dan agak kejam waktu tu, I cried when he cried, and at 1 point just after given birth, I gave up and refused to feed him in the middle of the night. Tired beyond description. Abang juga yang bangun, panaskan EBM, bagi faheem minum and bagi dia tidur. Hoo anak 1st kot.. bolehlah.. that was what I thought. Lepastu meroyan apa tah waktu lepas bersalin tu, setiap kali mandi mesti nak abang teman (probably because we are so used to having bath together, after given birth I felt so unattractive. Bila abang tak nak mandi sekali terus merajuk). Walhal time tu tidur langgar time waktu solat. Abang yang nak pergi masjid mestilah kena mandi cepat. Until 1 time I cried rivers, just because when I woke up abang was fully and nicely dressed in Jubah and Kopiah. Rupa-rupanya I slept from asar and when I woke up, abang has returned back from Masjid after isya' prayer!!! Dasar mak apa lah camni hahaha. Abang was so sweet, Dia sanggup temankan mandi, tapi terpaksa berdiri kat penjuru toilet supaya jubah tak basah kena air. Hahaha. we always laugh when we dig back old memories ;p

More than 5 years has passed. I am not sure whether I am ready to go through that journey again, but abang's assurance make me feel confident. I always ask things like

Abang sanggup tak bangun malam baby menangis? Nanti esok nak g kerja mengantu
Abang sanggup tak bangun malam buat teh kalau ayang sakit perut?
Abang sanggup tak tukar pampers baby selalu berak?

Now now now why do I ask those questions to Abang when i should askt he questions to myself??? Semakin lama jadi isteri abang, semakin naik lemak plak!!! Abang kata "we will adjust!"

What do I fear most of having another baby? Not the difficutly in pregnancy or the hectic life of a new mother. I fear that things between abang and me will change, that we cant simply go out and watch movies, or we cant walk holding hands when each of us has to carry a child, that we cant simply pack our bags and enjoy ad-hoc holiday, that we lose the touch of being just the two of us...

Life is frightening in certain ways..

Sunday

Kelantan kat mana yang best??

My teacher used to say, when we want to study, make sure all the gadgets are there, and the surrounding is conducive :) Eg make sure pens and papers are available, laptops are running, the air is serene, you are feeling energetic after a refreshing shower, dressed in newly laundered clothes, and perhaps a cup of cappuccino by your sde (errr perhaps a glass of rejuvenating ESP shake??) ;p

I kind of miss the days when I blogged rampantly haha. It was easy. A laptop that is available on table, a functioning connection, a clean desk..oh how I miss that. That was during the time when all that I had was a only a laptop. I was a student, and I didnt have much commitment. And that was during the time when abang and me stayed apart, adn internet was the only connection we had ;p. Pagi petang siang malam nak YM/ Skype ;p.

Welll... if you want to know how hard things are now...First now I have only one laptop which abang gave me on our first anniversary.. err..err 5 years ago? It is now super slow, overburdened, and infected with virus huu.The keyboard... now the keybiard is having holes everywhere..Ameer Faheem korek keluar the letters..

Secondly we dont have internet connection at home. I go online through my phone, and if I want to use it as a modem, the net speed would be unbearably dragging.

Thirdly, there is not much that I can do with a phone except updating facebook status *cough* so please forgive my overwhelming status in facebook. That is how it appears when a blogger tries to transform her FB into a blog ahahaha~

Fourthly, I have to drive for 30 mins to my sister's/ mother's house just to use their computer + internet. How tragic! sob sob. The suual thing is when I arrived there, Ameer Faheem always give me reasons to not use the computer, such as peeing in his pant and I had to clean him, feeling tired and would just go home empty handed. SOB SOB. Balik rumah nangis kat abang, telling him how hard things are. Nasib baik abang ni jenis dengar je isteri complain hahaha

It is not that we dont want to install the internet. Reasons would be, life is so unpredictable haha. We are moving soon, but I am not sure how soon. And I'm not sure where to either. Of course we dont want to carry too many things, hoping for a smooth and simple moving out activity. Aban katam "Sabar, tunggu pindah nanti" Ok, isteri bersabar. haihh.

Haritu teringin nak beli Coway Water Filter. Senang ada air sejuk and air panas. Abang kata, sabar tunggu pindah. Susahnya isteri nak bersabar, sebab sejak bibik berhenti kerja, tong air tu asyik kosong je.. Kalau Ameer Faheem minta susu, terpaksa bancuh dengan air panas semua, lepastu rendam botol + air susu panas dalam jag berisi air sejuk. Air panas selalu available sebab ada electric flask. Serba kekurangan kikiki. Jadi abang pun rajin masak airand topup tong air tu. Woww sweetnya, suami sapa lah yang rajin sangat tu ;p

Dah merapu rapu ni jadi lupa nak cerita apa sebenarnya. Mind you this post is gonna be very long with no picture. This is when a blogger tries to convert her blog into a novel kahkahkah. The thing about us is (yes abang and me), we just love reading this blog hahaha, narcissistic nye, and I dont really mind actually if nobody ever reads it. It's for personal use anyway. But once upon a time when it was famous (ahakksss), almost daily I would receive messages like "Salam kak, saya pembaca blog akak. Bla bla bla" Sangat suka dengan warm messages like that and I would make new friends. It was not uncommon either for abang and me to get greetings such as "Ni Ummu Ameer ye? Saya baca blog akak. Tak sangka boleh jumpa" Yang lebih tak tahan, ada orang tegur Abu Ammer, dekat airport sebab katanya selalu baca blog, tengok gambar abang, eh terjumpa real depan mata :) Truthfully we bloggers love our readers, it is like a close community :)

Tengok, melalut lagi!!!!! And dah lupa nak cerita apa sebenanrnya hehe ;p

Ok this is what I wanted to share earlier. We appealed for Kedah, but I got Kelantan so far. Why I really want to move to Kedah is becuase I want to live in our own house, make my own garden, decorate our home. Siap cakap dengan abang, kalau pindah kedah, bolehlah plan untuk dapat second baby hehe. Adalah macam terbuka hati sikit nak jadi new mommy for the second time..mungkin sebab semangat sikit boleh hias bilik baby nanti. Tapi nampak gayanya macam akan pindah kelantan huu. Abang pun agak semangat nak pindah kelantan because he wants to further his study in Neurosurgery (HUSM ousat Neuro). Abang kata lebih kurang 5 tahun duduk kelantan baru pindah kedah

*Sob sob sob sob sob*

Sedih lah juga. tapi abang kata nanti kita hire gardener untuk siram garden kat kedah, so by the time pindah kedah, garden dah cantik! yeayyyy. Alhamdulillah for the umpteenth time. Abang really knows how to cheer me up. Pindah kelantan kat mana yang best eh? Nak duduk dekat dengan beach cantik lah, senang kalau family datang nak g beach :)




Perlu pergi facial walaupun makan Set Kulit Cantik Shaklee?

Well  it is not a secret anymore (haha) that I consume Shaklee Skin Set (Set Kulit Cantik Shaklee).


My routines are:
Vitamin E
Vitamin C
Alfalfa
GLA Complex
ESP
VIVIX 


Yesterday I promised in my Facebook, to share experience going to 2 facial centres  ;p
But now, why do I need to go for facial when I have all the vitamins I need??

Because I am  a firm believer of inner and outer beauty; that beauty should be tackled two-ways.  
From inner --> providing skin with all the vitamins that it needs to thrive and glow
From  outer--> using good skincare range, a good routine of cleansing and applying day/night creams, and of course facial treatments in between (if it is feasible ;p)

I first came to try facial treatment when I was intrigued by a friend's review of her experience in a facial spa, doing facial laser. I messaged her personally and when she said it was good for real, I didn't waste anytime to ask my partner-in-crime to pay a visit to the spa. Hehe.

It was in Sungei Wang. Porbably Abang's first time going to Sungei Wang. It was my playground though once upon a time huu. I have forgotten how wonderfully cheap things in Sungei Wang are! I ended buying blouses and pants for me, Faheem, Safiyya and Usamah hahaha. They costed me RM5 per piece, I wouldn't miss such cheap bargain :)

It was a very small centre with 5 beds in small cubicles. The cubicles were separated with curtains. There was a small room at the end of the cubicles, I requested for that. I am a fully dressed muslimah, I don't feel comfortable sitting in a curtained cubicle. The spa was owned by a couple, probably in their 50s. They were so warm, friendly and humble. I immediately felt at home :)

I took a package of 6 sessions which costed RM750 (promotion price). It was quite cheap considering the treatment include laser treatment.

As it was my first time having facial treatment, I couldn't comment much on how good it was. I went back with softer skin and reduced pigmentation on the sides of nose. However because it was just days before Raya, she didn't want to extract much of whitehead and blackhead, so as to avoid a raw red face during Raya :p

I planned for the second session after Raya. Minimum is 3 weeks after the first session. But then I came a cross a Groupon advertisement- a facial laser package which costed around RM1K but offered at RM28! I didn't lose anytime to grab the offer.

So 2 days ago, Abang and me went for my trial session, and this time around it was in Boulevard, Midvalley. It was on Wednesday, it was at 2pm and I was so glad to board the train during office hour. Spare the hassle hehe.



Of course the spa was much more exclusive than the first one. The girl (workers) wore uniform and I just couldn't wait to get started...

Stay tune for a wonderful sharing about a wonderful experience in the spa..:) 


Saturday

When plain old maryam tries to get commercial haha

I haven't jot anything in this blog for a very loooooooong time and I'm telling you I miss it like anything. Writing in my other blog is nowhere near to writing here because i guess it is more formal. Everybody keeps telling me that if I want to do an online business, perhaps I would need a blog that is dedicated to my business- Shakee and not a personal blog full of nonsense ramblings GEE~ but everybody knows one thing.. Maryam al batul will always be the old plain maryam al batul, and can NEVER transform into Dr maryam aziz. My commercial name, how quirky does it sound? Hahaha my.

I have a new project which excites me now.If you have been following me since probably 6-7 years back when I first started blogging, you would know that I am always occupied withproject.

Fashionista project.
Wedding project
Baking project
Decorating Faheem's room
Sewing Project

huuuuuuu

The thing is we are planning to move to Kedah soon (as soon as our appeal to transfer get approved, and as soon as we get the key to our house insyaAllah). Hopefully by end of this year or early next year.

I guess it won't be a secret anymore. We bought our very first house in Bandar Darulaman. It has NEVER crossed my mind before that i would be settling down in Kedah. But Allah knows best :p

When I first started working, I bought a land. Quite big, because I have always wanted a house with a big garden. But we finally decided to settle down in Kedah when one day (when we were in Kedah), we stopped to buy pisang goreng. They sold em at RM1 for 10pcs. We actually gasped in disbelief in front of the makcik seller, and simply said "We must settle down here, the living cost and quality of life are much better than in KL!". There was another time when we went to a Ramadhan Bazaar in Alor Star, a stall was selling Nasi Briyani at RM3/pack. I had to ask the seller repeatedly whether the price stated is true because it sounded hoax and full of tricks. Until the pakcik seller gave me a weird should-I-call-the-police look, I finally retired and tried hard to convince myself that I was not dreaming. ~Sigh~ When you are shopping in KL , you always have to read in between lines whenever you read any promotion/SALE ads.. because they always trick you somehow or someway.

(when I am writing this, Safiyya is pretending to be a cat, meowing all the time while Faheem is the cat owner, feeding her and  stroking her 'fur'. OMG)

Ok back to the house, we bought a tiny bungalow Alhamdulillah :) A small cute house which I intend to convert into a home for Abang, Me, Faheem and baby :D It is small but I guess enough for my small family. The plus thing is, it is surrounded with an extremely wide land! For me to create a garden later insyaAllah. Secret garden pun boleh, agak2 abang nak tak buat compartment for secret garden, complete with tall walls, old door and a key? Hehehe

Eventhough it would be sometime before we can move.. we have started planning, and carry out any plans that could be carried out. So this is our baby project for now :)

If you really want to know why I am so motivated to be a shaklee consumer, simply because it suits with my theme. I can just imagine waking up in a small cosy home, surrounded with lush greeneries, eating healthy organic food in a cosy kitchen, enjoying Vivix and vitamins, while cleaning the house and laundries with organic cleaner that is so aromatic and soft to the nose and skin. A house that is safe for my family insyaAllah :)

Just a sneak peek of the very first thing that has been lingering on my mind these past few days--> THE LAUNDRY

I first start to think of the laundry when I smelled Shaklee's laundry detergent. It is soft, it smells fresh and lovely which makes me think of a lovely vintage laundry, with a window overlooking a colourful beds of flowers and smell of roses!



what is better than waking up to smell the fresh air and lay your eyes on the greeneries?



I would probably do one vintage poster like this, featuring shaklee detegent instead, frame it and hang on the wall of my vintage laundry :D

Of course i'll write in a different post regarding my laundry projects, till then stay tune :p
If you want to share your ideas or experience, please comment :D

Tuesday

Allah kan ada :)

umur shaklee saya masih belum sebulan, tapi saya rasa seperti dah lamaaa sangat bershaklee. mungkin faktor ukhuwah begitu banyak menyumbang. terasa seperti dah lama kenal, dan terasa macam kawan rapat. betullah apa orang kata, bila impian kita sama, hati pun bagai bertaut.

sibuk benar saya dengan jadual seharian, kadang sampai terlupa untuk makan. memang sendiri dah perasan, nampak macam semakin kurus. hari ni cuba timbang di klinik, rupa-rupanya dah 1kg saya hilang dlm tempoh sebulan. jangan tanya saya bagaimana untuk kurus, kerana saya sendiri bertanya pada orang lain bagaimana untuk gemuk! saya tak pernah ada masalah terlebih berat badan, tetapi pernah terlalu kurus sehingga tinggal tulang dan kulit sahaja. kalaulah ada sesuatu yang boleh saya buat untuk menggembirakan abang, sesuatu itu tentulah menambah berat dan isi!

semalam dimarahi ummi sebab melengahkan makan malam. itupun saya jamah beberapa suap nasi dengan ikan goreng lebihan ameer faheem. cuba juga untuk habiskan segelas koktel tapi banyak berbaki. mungkin Allah tarik nikmat rasa, moga hanya sementara. ummi baru nak gembira melihat saya mengambil vitamin secara konsisten, sebab sebelum ini terlalu sibuk bekerja, sempat bancuh esp je. 2 topik utama leteran ummi sejak azali yang dah lali telinga mendengar, "kamu makan sikit sangat, kamu kena makan vitamin" kata-kata ummi tak pernah tak benar, tapi kadang kekangan masa dan kurangnya semangat membuat kita seperti tak mampu untuk endah. jaga kesihatan tu kewajipan!

kadang kita rasa lelah, siapa yang lihat. kadang kita rasa berduka, siapa pula yang tahu. kadang kita berendam air mata, kita selalu lupa bahawa Allah tak pernah lepa memerhatikan hamba-hambaNya..

Allah kan ada :)

Saturday

cerita saya tentang breastfeeding

kita ni kalau nak apa2 mesti dengan ilmu. nak dunia dengan ilmu. nak akhirat pun dengan ilmu.

i gave birth approx 4 years ago. i was a student at that time. abangf was around alhamdulillah, jadi pom pom girl bersorak suruh push but he went back to jordan when faheem was 3  weeks old.

i was a medical student at that time, 4 months away from my professional exam; in which i would graduate if i pass. abang was in his 5th year and had another year to go before he can become a doctor. so i went back to kuantan with my mom. ummi took care of faheem when i attended lectures and clinical work in the hospital. i had 2 weeks of maternity leave and that was all. not more than that. berpantang tak uisah cerita, memang ke laut.

1 of the biggest challenge i faced at that time was breastfeeding. bila tinggalkan anak awal pagi, jumpa balik dah malam, in between i was busy and not able to pump out milk despite having a good breast pump, makan pun x menentu, kadang2 ada masa makan, tapi selalunya tak sempat. it didnt take long for milk production to stop. i took maxolone, domperidone, tell me i tried to keep the milk going. tapi bukan rezqi ameer faheem. ada orang kata kena minum air banyak, ada orang kata kena makan bubur kacang hijau, ada orang kata kena minum soya. macam2 lah petua. tapi kalau minum soya pun dlm kotak, bukan ada khasiat sangat, gula je lebih huu.

masa tu mana pernah dengar pasal produk shaklee tambah susu etc. i was naive. tp menyesal tu memang ada. cuna tanya inu2 yang tak banyak susu, tak dapat feed their baby, memang depress. menangis je memanjang. rasa macam a total failure at being a mother. from there i like to help mothers who really want to breastfeed their babies, because i understand what they are going through. bukan makan set banyak susu akan terus jadi supermom, banyak lagi ilmu lain kena tahu. cthnya milk supply and demand, complications that may arise etc.

when my lil sister gave birth to a handsome baby boy, i urged her to breastfeed. tapi dia kata takde susu. dahla housewife, memang rugi sangat2 kalau x exclusive breastfeed baby. awal2 memang takde susu, tapi kena hold on, relax and sabar, it will become better. so skrg dia mengandung the second one, mesti kena breastfeed! if only people know that no lab in the world can create
formula milk that is as superb as breastmilk, then they will do everything to ensure that their babies get only the best!

nothing comes easy in life, i always remember that. so is breastfeeding!
get help if u need one.

Friday

negativity

Alhamdulillah ive been with shaklee for the past 10days
and i learnt a lot during that time, ive started to get the hang of it.
Alhamdulillah that i was given a very caring upline who helped me a lot.

I really want to be serious in shaklee. Abang understands that, and he helps me in his own way. Now i dont have to urge him to take the vitamins, he eats them by himself hehe and prepare his own ESP.

Me? I am busy as always, juggling between work, locum and Shaklee. Ameer Faheem is now my new Murakkib haha, accompanying me to the shaklee HQ, COD shaklee products etc walaupun dia selalu tidur je dalam kereta.

Its true what most people say, we really have to get out of our cocoon, our comfort zone. Once i join shaklee, only i realize that i have to work hard to earn something, and doing business is not easy. Kadang2 rasa down bila sales x seberapa, tapi mujur ada kawan2 bagi semangat, ada senior yang sentiasa positive.  

abang and me, we dream of going back to kedah. alhamdulillah pembelian rumah dah selesai, yang tinggal adalah monthly loan payment yang bakal membuatkan kami miskin huhu. xpe rezqi Allah ada je sentiasa insyaAllah. aku dah berfikir2 nak renovate rumah serba sedikit, nak gunakan product shaklee for household cleaning  supaya rumah bersih and toxic free and safe for kids. you see i like shaklee products, then i sell and not the other way round. kalaupun xde org nak beli i will still buy them for my family, unless 1 day somebody can prove that is not safe for consumers. kalau ada rezqi nak plan of having another baby next year (as per abang request, not me huuu).

alih2 hari ni abang dapat surat penempatan- kelantan!!! adush kecewanya. kalau abang dpt kedah senang sket aku nak appeal g kedah, tp nmpknya makin sushlah urusan kami. tp xpe, aku ykn dgn kebolehan abg bab rayu merayu kat kkm ni hehe. tapi abang tanye pulak whether aku nk duk kelntan ke x sbb dia tringn nak buat neurosurg kat husm!! aaaaaaaa xnakkkkkk! 

haih hari ni emosi byk terganggu. lepastu abg oncall pulk... memang i am non productive again today.. suruh ameer faheem tdo n aku pun tdo jugk huhuu.

Monday

Tou have got to start somewhere

Pengalaman seminggu bersama shaklee

Saya pada asalnya tak pernah terfikir nak menjadi distributor shaklee. Nak guna untuk diri sendiri sahaja. Tapi ramai menasihatkan saya jadi ahli supaya boleh beli dengan harga murah- harga ahli. Memang berbaloi jadi ahli. Sebenarnya bayaran RM 65 je untuk seumur hidup. Syaratnya mestilah beli sekurang2nya setahun sekali. tak perlu cari ahli baru, tak perlu beli setiap bulan. xde yang stress2. So saya setuju.

Rupa2nya ada offer lagi best. Kalau beli sampai rm650, boleh dapat free membership! Memang dengar macam mahalnya! Cubalah cari kawan2 yang nak beli produk shaklee, boleh order skali. Atau cuba rancang kewangan anda supaya anda beli brg2 yg perlu cthnya kalau memang anda makan esp, beli 2-3 botol terus utk stok bulan depan. Atau cuba sedikit2 tukar barang rumah anda seperti instead of beli pencuci lantai di supermarket, belilah pencuci lantai shaklee. Atau kalau anda ingin mencuba nasib dalam bidang perniagaan, beli stok yang selalu laku seperti vit C, anda boleh jual kemudian! Dah dpt free membership and dapat beli dengan harga ahli terus!  Kan untung.

Kalau anda memang minay berniaga, bagi saya yang penting adalah support system. Penting anda mencari up line yang boleh membantu and strong shaklee family. Alhamdulillah saya direzqikan join shaklee dengan family yang sangat mantap and membantu kita untuk bermula. Saya memamg tak pernah mendalami ilmu berniaga, cuma harapkan bantuan family shaklee, harapkan sokongan suami Dan bismillah, saya bertawakkal kepada Allah!

Saya masih terlalu baru dalam shaklee tapi x pernah rasa alone. Banyak inisiatif up line kita buat coaching and training programme. InsyaAllah saya akan join 1st program dalam bulan 6 ini. Up line saya siap tolong utk cater customer saya SBB kdg saya pun terkial2 lagi dgn selok belok shaklee.

Lagi best, bukan ilmu perniagaan je yg anda dpt, tapi juga ilmu kesihatan. Kalau nak jual supplemen, tak ke anda perlu belajar dulu sebelum berkongsi dengan orang Lain? Dan ilmu kesihatan akan selalu berguna untuk diri anda dan keluarga. Sebab tu ramai orang suruh anak jadi doktor supaya boleh tolong family bila perlu hehe (walaupun sbnrnya doktor kdg terlalu busy sampai family sendiri pun terabai huhu)

Yang terakhir, kalau kita dah lihat ramai orang berjaya dalam dunia perniagaan, takkan kita nak berdiam diri and lihat je kan? Awal2 dulu, saya selalu cakap dgn abang, "si A ni dpt bonus 4 angka, si B dpt 5 angka, si C dpt 6 angka". Abang kata, " pemilik shaklee lagi entah berapa angka tak terkira, Ayang". Saya balas, " memanglah, tapi kalau kita tak Bermula sekarang, satu angka pun kita x dpt!". Kesimpulannya you have got to start somewhere! Kalau tak, orang Lain dah lama berlari, kita tersipu Putih mata kan? :)

Kalau Berminat nak join family shaklee saya yang super best, pm me now! Pm laju2 supaya anda tak terlepas kapal yang dah nak berlayar! And kita sama-sama majukan ekonomi!

PM/ Whatsapp 
0139144638

Thursday

IBU shaklee saya kata jangan main terjah je terus niaga, kna buat introduction statement and declaration dulu

So kat sini saya introduce

assalamualaikum..
sy merupakan pengedar shaklee anda bg kawasan SG buloh, shah alam dan juga pengedar seluruh malaysia melalui pos. antara set yg sy tawarkan adlh :

Set kehamilan
set menyusu
set berpantang
set kurus
Set tambah berat badan
set kulit cantik
set warga emas
set nutrisi kanak2
set berpuasa
skincare set
set rambut sihat

Saya seorang doktor jadi pendekatan saya pada supplement mungkin agak berbeza dengan ramai orang dan saya tidak dapat memberi jaminan bahawa barangan shaklee dapat menyembuhkan penyakit. Saya suka untuk berkongsi secebis pengetahuan tentang kesihatan dengan anda dan membantu berkaitan masalah kesihatan.

jd buat sesiapa yg tinggal berdekatan blh la hubungi saya utk mendapatkn sebarang produk shaklee. insyaAllah semoga kita semua sihat dan kekal
cantik dengan shaklee.

Maryam al batul azizuddin
0139144638
Shaklee independent distributor 1146319

**why I choose shaklee? Because it works!**

Monday

Mesti syumul!

Syumul is a word best used to describe Islam. It means as a whole. It is just the right thing to do once you consider yourself a muslim, you have to be Muslim in every aspect of life. You dress properly, u talk nicely, u purify or heart, u have a good connection with Allah and others. A perfect aqidah leads to a sweet akhlaq and perfection in Ibadah. Though it is never easy to be a perfect Muslim inside out, one can never use that as an excuse not to try at all.

My housemanship training for the past 2 years has been a good one, medically speaking. But it has also changed me into someone I don't like and gave me a life that I despise.

So yes I have been telling myself since forever that I want to change. I want to change in a 'syumul' manner. I'm starting slow but I do hope I will continue to progress.

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim, here goes...!

Friday

New thing

Today I mark another new thing in my life. I join shaklee. So yes I'm a shaklee distributor. So this will be my 'entertainment' for the time being. I have always wanted to start my own business, be it a bakery, boutique, clinic or whatever but Im yet to achieve that. so I guess there's nothing wrong in starting small and safe. I've been using shaklee product for quite a while, I started with esp when I first started housemanship. It was such a wonder, then I introduced abang to it. Abang liked esp also because it gave us the energy we needed to continue working but of course sometimes I was not that rajin to prepare him the drink each morning huu. Then I bought meal shake for ameer faheem. He loved it also, but then he loves almost anything.

Now that ive finished my housemanship, I am more serious into health and beauty stuff. Who doesn't want to be beautiful with flawless skin? And who doesn't want to be complimented on their youthful look right? Truth is I always enjoy it when everyday patient asked me again and again what is my age, or whether I'm a true doctor or just a student, or that I'm lying to the bone when I say i have a 3y/o kid hahaha. Semua perempuan pun cmtulah suka kna puji :p

Starting from there I seriously made my own research on how to look young always. I mean what are the food that I have to take, the supplements that I need etc. I was somehow attracted to shaklee mostly because of the price; it is quite cheap compared to stuff in pharmacies, and of course they have great testimonies which women always want to believe haha. Abang is a bit skeptical though. I'm telling you I had a hard time asking permission from him, and when he finally says "yes" I don't want to ask much. Abang beat muka seposen jugak bila wife dia suka suruh makan vit shaklee haha

To be continued...

Thursday

Ujian

Saya ni sejak dari zaman muda bukannya jenis pandai melayan budak2, sampai dah ada anak sendiri pun masih xberapa pandai. Jadi bila ada ameer faheem, memang ini satu anugerah juga dugaan besar yang Allah berikan. Allah nak uji kesabaran, juga nak didik supaya jadi seorang yang penyabar. Most of the time, bila fikirkan tentang anak, my main reason not to have anymore kid is because taknak berebut kasih sayang abang dengan anak2. Orang dengar reason tu macam silly but it is true no matter how silly it sounds..

Abang memang berbeza. Abang kata abang suka anak ramai, macam abah (my father in law). I asked "knapa abang marah faheem kalau abang suka anak ramai?" Abang kata, marah bukan indikator sayang atau tidak. Marah untuk membetulkan. Abah pun marah abang and his siblings during their growing up years.. I just nodded.

Saya bukan jenis orang yang suka marah2 tapi orang yang suka merajuk. Kalau tak tahan dengan perangai faheem, ill lock myself in my bedroom and weep.. And sms/ call abang. Sometimes i talk to ummi or my sisters. I think sometimes i am being too ambitious such that i forget to touch reality. Anak itu untuk dididik bukan lahir2 dah serba cerdik. Yes i always forget that...

Harini Allah menguji lagi. Bukan benda besar pun tapi benda remeh temeh that i accidentally exaggerate :( and i end up feeling so down and hopeless.. astaghfirullah...

Wednesday

A different world totally

Sometimes when i talk to my colleagues, i feel like im an alien coming from a totally different planet huu. Probably because they talk about movies and outing and travelling when i am more interested in discussing about pinggan mangkuk and comforter and house appliances and recipes and kids! Oh my i really think i have entered the world of makcik2 T_T.

Today i finish my time to think on how can i keep our house spick and span. Probably i have just accepted the reality that now we dont have a maid anymore T_T... Abang and me; we are both a bit OCD in housekeeping. But truth is im tired of having to vacuum the floor every single day, spring cleaning the kitchen every single day, plus thousand other things including doing the laundry, cooking and taking care of ameer faheem. On top of that i have to look good for my husband and smell nice as if im a celebrity doing nothing other than sitting at the dressing table testing which perfume smells the best and which hairdo makes me look cute and adorable haha.

Having an active 3 years old boy is another thing. I tried my best to keep his room clean but he is capable of making his room look like a tornado-hit area, without even trying! Oh man we are not yet talking about a boy who comes home sweaty and smelly and dirty after a football game. Im telling you im anticipating that!  ~sigh~

We manage to exclude his bedroom from our territory. At times i dont even bother to clean his room haih. There was 1 time he ate oat bar on his bed and the next morning i found out that the crumbs fully covered his bed. + ants of course huu. There was another time he ate chocolate cake (im telling u he is a cake lover), and smeared my white cushion. Or wipe his dirty hand on my white curtains! Just how can anybody explain the frustration im facing??

Oh ameer faheem...
I dont want to become a monster jst because of that reason. At the same time i dont want that to be the reason for leaving my house in such a mess. So i have to find a strategy on how to work out things.

Ill update later when i find one…

Gambar bilik dengan kekotoran level 1 (mild)
Wait till i post the pic of a level 5 mess!!

Ramadhan approaching

Today i feel different, because today i'm fasting. I havent fasted for quite a long time, with the busy schedule most of the time i dont plan. I always miss sahur, but when i go to work most of the time we dont manage to eat anything also. Patutnya berniat puasa je terus.

Now that ramadhan is approaching i am actually doing a marathon for puasa ganti huhu. Damn last minute. Our ramadhan for the past 2-3 years, i can say... Meaningless :( we work like mad. We dont wake up for sahur, we dont have proper iftar. Sometimes i just drink a glass of plain water at 9pm to break my fast, or grab a date. We dont go for congregational tarawih, and that was such a loss. Occ we get to go to bazaar ramadhan, of course in a hurry because work finished late and magurib was approaching or we were in uurry to start pm shift. Eidulfitr was the same. I was postcall on the first day of raya. I remember abang urging me to come back at 7am so that he can join the eidulfitr prayer while my MO refused to let me go till 8am. I cried the night i did oncall because it was very melancholic to listen to raya song while i had to work attending a ward full of foreigners. Luckily abang came to accompany his weeping wife haha. I then slept till noon. We didnt shop for baju raya, no raya food, so went back to my parents house where we continued to sleep and faheem could play with his relatives. Sedih tgk budk lain ada baju cantik, while our faheem wore an undersized jubah from years back, so no raya photos also huhu.

Sekarang dah berkira2, nak plan for ramadhan. Nak ambil sunnah sahur daily and iftar early. Nak stock up the fridge with anything necessary. Nak bawa faheem pergi tarawih. Nak khatam alquran dlm ramadhan. And nak baju raya! Nak hias rumah juga utk raya haha besarnya cita2. We are human. If ever we fly to the moon, im sure we always want to come back and smell the earth and grass. That is fitrah.. :)

Tuesday

Macam nilah..

Macam ni lah kalau ada anak.... Kena banyak bersabar.. Kdg2 melayang jugk kesabaran tu huuu. Pagi2 menangis2 nak cake, which i baked for abang's birthday.. In 2 days time... Tak sempat nak hias pun. Tak sampai hati, mummy bagi jugaklah.. Tp hati sedih tak terkatalah. Sempat jugk abang pesan suruh snap gambar despite 1 slice has gone missing huu.

Having a child really changes one's life. Ive gone through that and im not ready to go through it again. Baru kemas rumah, kejap je dah bersepah2. Baru pakai baju lawa2, anak berak kna g basuh. Baru kemas katil anak lompat2. Baru plan to have a quiet time, anak dtg tanya sejuta soalan nonsense secara non stop. Besar kan jasa ibu? Berkorban diri utk org lain.. And for that i would like to say thank you to ummi who managed to take care of us without any help! Me? Baru je bibik berhenti kerja dah menangis hari2 x larat nak urus everything.. Sbb tu i dont deserve to be celebrated on mothers day :(

Sunday

Pondering..

Lately i have been thinking, what do i really want in life? What can really make me feel happy and satisfied? Probably because i have finished my housemanship makes me think that i have more options to choose from although i still have 2 more years to go for my compulsory service and 8 more years to complete my jpa bond huu.  It seems being a doctor is not that enjoying anymore.. Or being a gov doctor is not that enjoying. Or im just sitting in a wrong place. Workload is not the issue because obviously workload currently is not overwhelming at all. Im tired of doing the same plain thing everyday. And i want freedom of time. I want to plan my own schedule and be good at it.

Ive been doing locum work quite a lot and that is quite satisfying.. Because patient say thank you and come back to you just to tell u they are better and to appreciate whatever that you have done for them. They smile. U feel that u really want to help.

Whereas working in the hosp, i dont know a big number of my patients (mostly because im working in a male dengue ward and most of them are foreigners- bangladeshi, nepalese, vietnamese and what not; whom im not even interested in communicating due to langguage barrier and other personal reasons), they are not appreciative, they are misusing gov facilities and they expect to get 5 star treatment when the number of patients are like infinity. They come, we treat and they go back well. As lame as that :( Doctors are human too..

Most of the time you r expected to become superwoman who are available anytime to report duty. I am rebellious. I have a kid and i have a husband.  Sometimes i just bring my kid to work and during oncall. I ask abang to stay with me in the ward whenever im oncall. People talk behind my back but who cares huu. Specialist sometimes gave their sharp words, hut i turn 2 deaf ears.. Sometimes i get colleagues who like to nag, who cares either huhu

I think what i get during my working years are.. I develop into someone inhumane and mean and selfish... and i damn hate that...

Working on sunday!

Badmood. 1st it is a sunday and i'm working. 2nd today is mother's day. 3rd i really dont like some people's patient management. 4th maybe im just being rebellious. 5th i think i just hate working huuu...... Glad that i have a good partner to work with today!

Brooding

I hate oncalls! And i hate abang's oncalls :((( abang is working night again and again the house becomes unbearable.. Abang must b doing some magic such that i cant live far from him, not even for a second. Mcm kena minyak dagu pun ada huhu.

Harap2 abg masuk admin lepas ni, blh kerja office hour je. Xpun g klinik kesihatan.

Today i bake a cake. Tp jenuh larang faheem usik. He has been opening the fridge all day long and dug his little fingers into my cake each time haihhh. I hope i wont get nightmare when i open the fridge and find out a big chunk of cake is missing huuu... Make me feel like i desperately need a big fridge.. The 2 sided one with multiple doors so that he cant open the top door. I have to rearrange the shelves and other foods each time i want to stuff the cake in :((
Abang kata sabar dulu, tunggu pindah kedah baru beli so that we dont get the trouble transporting a fridge to kedah. Aaaa lambatnye lagi huu....

Thursday

Unbearable

I am supposed to be working right now, but i'm blogging because i am jobless and i miss abang so much and the hours are just unbearable... Missing my warm home and warm bed and warm husband hehe :p

Taking 1 small step..

Today i work night shift while abang work day shift. I always hate that. I hate waving him goodbye, i hate staying alone at home without him.. I send ameer faheem to his nursery, as usual. I always do that. I send him to the nursery despite me not working during the day.. Because i find it very hard to take care of him alone when abang is not around.. And i dont want to become a monster mommy. So today i spend my time in a bakery shop- selling bakery stuff, and i clean my cupboard. Guess what? All my baking ingredients have expired!! Of course. Reading the labels and brands left me melancholic. Those are the ingredients which i bought in jordan.. 2-3 years back. That is how long i've stopped baking! I plan to start baking again..

And my childhood dream to open a bakery.. Probably now is the best time to do it. So ibought few baking gadgets but being stringynon that.. Thats the different between men and women.. Woman play it safe.. Eventhough while planning to start a business haha. Goodbye books and all the guilt that come from not reading them.. I do want different things in life..

Tuesday

When 2 roads diverge

Into MOship for more than a month.. I just cant decide what i want to do after this.. A part of me want to further my study and become a specialist.. That is what ive been wanting all these while.. But a part of me vote for an easier life; starting my own GP or perhaps open my own bakery, have ample time to spend with my Ameer Faheem, travelling, reading, gardening, baking..

Gosh i just cant decide!!!!

Life is treating me well Alhamdulillah. I work 4-5 days a week, i dont work long hours and i get to go home during working hours (after ive finished rounds), to cook, water my plants, do laundry, or even do grocery shopping! The only downside of it is abang is always away at work haihh. He's a paeds houseman but i think paeds posting is not that bad now. They do get 2 days off in a week.

I can even teach ameer faheem to read! Suprisingly he can sit down and read! He can read alif ba ta till kho now. Abc..not yet. He can count till 10. Probably not as advance as other kids but that is really an achievement for me and him :) alhamdulillah. He likes to speak english though sometimes i cant understand anything hahaha i think because he watches english cartoon. He can read doa makan in full, he is very cunning, sometimes asking for things in a cute way such as, "mommy, faheem nak milo boleh x? Boleh x mommy?"

If there is 1 thing i cant wait right now.. It is to settle done..but of coursr many things have to b done before that can happen.. :) may Allah ease

Wednesday

The start of another non productive night

Today abang is doing night shift again. And tomorrow as well. I hate it when abang does night shift because ill always end up being not productive... AT ALL! The melancholic mood starts the minute he steps out of the door. I prepared ameer faheem's sleeping place ( oh he's a nomad now and sleeps in our room every single day on a make-shift bed huu). I pull down the curtains and blinds, switch on the fan, pull our blankets, and goodnight it is.. At 6pm huu. Occ i ransack the kitchen trying to find happy food, probably snickers that is hidden somrwhere but always to no avail, and i return to my gloomy niche, pull my blanket again, forcing my brain to shut down and sleep.

I miss abang to the moon and back

Sunday

Life is like that. Goodbye housemanship

Things are normalizing though slowly. Faheem has started learning his alif ba ta, and that really got me excited! Alhamdulillah. Finally he can actually sit down and read. He read books also, which is fun.

Our fridge is not really functioning. It is a actually a hand-down item from my sister. Hers when she was still single, many years back. That really troubles me because i have started cooking regularly and it seems like i cant store frozen item. Only yesterday abang and me threw rotten frozen chicken and meat down the bin..what a waste.

Our washing machine is not functioning either. It was also a hand-down item from my sister, which wssbhanded down from her aunt in law haha. A small old semi-auto machine. How can it decide to retire at such an important moment. Just when i decide not to use the laundry service and pile up on our saving..

I am having trouble finding babysitter for ameer faheem... Because i still have night shifts and work on weekends..we are considering sending him back to kedah for the time being..just when i have started his reading sessions and teachings..

The process of buying our 1st house is still not settled yet..and our car door has been stuck for the past 2 months..we have to get in and out through the passenger door, all the while imagining we are driving a sport car with 1 door haha

I have started packing all the small indonesian tudung which i used during housemanship together with my white coat.. I dont wear white coat anymore. And i start to don back jubah and shawls just like before. Abang kata, "niqab please". I say no, not yet.

I have more time to laze around with al quran, feeling at peace just like before.. How i hope abang can join me soon insyaAllah..

Life is like that. Adjusting always aint easy.. But i have plants to water everyday and a home with a wonderful husband and kid to return to.. I'm blessed.

Tuesday

Lost

After 2 days of hol, finally i have to work today.. PM shift. I always feel empty and lost whenever abang is not around. Oh he has just left for work huu. And i will just sleep and sleep and become successfully non productive :( How i hope one day we can open our own clinic where abang and me can have our own consultation rooms. Then i can go to work with him and go back with him, how awesome :p

When i was about to finished my housemanship, abang 'prepared' me for independence. He brought me for handphone shopping, he repaired his motorcycle etc. You see for the past 4 months i dont have my own phone, i don't drive because i was in the same rotation with abang and i just couldnt be bothered with all those gadgets when abang was always by my side. When i first got my own phone after months, i felt sad. And i had to drive to work alone. I went shopping alone, life is not that wonderful anymore..

Oh how i miss abang..

Sunday

New life

I am finally freee from the housemanship curse, though not that free as i have to join dengue team, with working hours more or less similar to that of a houseman. I dont have a choice but to despise it. I need weekends and i dont want to do night shift. But yes life has changed much. I shop for groceries nowadays. And i blog! Gosh. I have more time with ameer faheem. I start to do gardening! And i browse through cooking blog, and definitely cook. I'lk b indulging in healthy cooking from now on and yes i'm gonna update my lousy and abandoned virtual kitchen. Haihhh after 2 years i have like endless spring cleaning list to finish...

Thursday

Missing my Ameer Faheem

Missing my Ameer Faheem. Missing him like crazy. Dah lama Ameer Faheem duduk kedah. Dah 2 minggu. When we call him, he says, "Daddy ambikla faheem bawa balik rumah faheem". Sayunya. Sometimes I cry alone and sometimes I sleep on his bed. Sometimes I feel like bombing my workplace for stealing my time with him. I really want to bring him back, but with the current work demand, I cant afford to take care of him without the aid of a maid.

Abang selalu cakap, kita kena selalu ingat, orang yang paling banyak berkorban di permulaan kehidupan kami yang susah ni adalah Ameer Faheem.Dan abang selalu cakap, Ameer Faheem akan selalu jadi nombor satu dihatinya, tak kira berapa ramai anak yang kami bakal ada insyaAllah. Betul cakap abang. Ameer Faheem yang bersama mommy diwaktu mommy berjuang untuk final exam. Ameer Faheem juga yang bersama kami ketika abang mengharungi tahun akhir di jordan. Ameer Faheem yang bersabar dengan kami ketika kami letih pulang bekerja dan kurang sabarnya. Kadang2 dia menangis bila dimarah, kadang2 dia merajuk diam, kami pula yang tersentuh. Ameer Faheem bersama dengan kami ketika kami berpindah randah sepanjang 5 tahun berkahwin. Bermula dengan saat aku mengandungkan dia, kami tinggal di rumah sewa abang dengan kawannya. Kemudian kami pindah ke rumah sewa sendiri di Jordan selepas mommy graduated. Pulang ke malaysia, kita berteduh di rumah nenek untuk seketika. Sebelum kita berpindah ke rumah sewa bersebalahn hospital. Sekarang kita tinggal di kuarters hospital pula. Jauh perjalanan Ameer Faheem bersama kami.

InsyaAllah ada rezqi kita dapat berpindah ke rumah kita sendiri tak lama lagi. Berkobar2 semangat mommy nak hias rumah biar selesa untuk kita sekeluarga, dan bina garden yang cantik tempat Ameer Faheem main dan membesar. Berkobar2 juga nak hias bilik Ameer Faheem, biar jadi syurga dunia untuk Ameer Faheem.

Memang masa dengan Ameer Faheem sangat terhad. Dan Ameer Faheem jadi rebellious kerana itu. Kadang2 susah benar untuk bersabar dengan kerenah 'rebellious' berselikan kepenatan bekerja, tapi insyaAllah mommy and daddy akan ada banyak masa untuk Ameer Faheem selepas ini. InsyaAllah. Moga ada rezqimu Ameer Faheem.

Kadang2 mommy marah bila Ameer Faheem wakes me up, telling me that he wants to poo in the loo. Sometimes I just turn a pair of deaf ears to him when he says "mummy faheem nak kencing", and tell him to pee in his pampers. Sometimes I ignore his request to bathe himself. Sometimes i am in such a hurry to entertain his choice of clothes. And most of the times, I don't have time to prepare meal for him.

May Allah give me strength to change things soon..

Friday

Moving on..

Moving on to a new phase of life.. and preparing myself to bid farewell to housemanship. I bet I will never miss that one, just as how I have never missed my schooling days or university life or whatever that I have left behind..

Whatever that I have gone through, are the things that make me into the present human, but to walk back the paths that I have long left is a definite no no insyaAllah :)

Finishing housemanship means, one have more touch with reality. I am now more concerned of the SKT (Performance Evaluation) which I have totally abandoned during my exhausting housemanship days I am concerned of the static monthly salary just because I have never submitted the SKT haha. I start to plan for Ameer Faheem's education and daily fulfilling activities; which I never before had the chance to do so. I start choosing book for his bedtime stories and feeling determined to eradicate all the indonesian slang and words in no time. I start packing to move out to a new place (although it might be end of this year), a thing that I have always enjoyed in the past (packing!). I managed to peek into the cartons of teasets and dinnerware which I have collected for the past 2 years. I am familiarizing myself to the concept of locum and introducing myself to GPs haha. Abang and me have a sketch book now where we sketch the plan of our dream house everyday, despite not knowing when it will turn into a reality.

Hello better life :) InsyaAllah..

Thursday

I am old

Bismillahirahmanirrahim

I'm still a houseman. Finishing Emergency Department (my last posting) soon insyaAllah.. Oh my how I cant wait to finish it off huuu.

I havent write for months I think

I'm doing ED with abang. It's damn fun Alhamdulillah!! We work in the same shift, we go on ambulance ride together, we join the same rounds, we attend the same teachings, we deal with the same group of superiors "Fabiayyi alaa irabbi kuma tukazziban?"

So which of the favors of your Lord would you deny?

The downside of it is.. we meet Faheem less and less

Oh we dont have bibik for the past 1 month. She actually decided to call it a quit and I didnt do anything to stop her from going. That's life. We send Faheem to a babysitter, he stays there for 2 nights until we finish our shifts and we would pick him up and spend time with him for 1.5 days before we actually send him back for 2 days again.. It is cruel for him and for us. Luckily he is such an independent and understanding young lad who rarely question. He straightaway understand when I tell him that Mummy and Daddy are going to work. Sometimes when he feel sad and lonely I guess, he tells us that he wants to stay with nenek instead of going to the babysitters house.. that is when I will cry and ask for a huge favour from nenek..

You see taking care of our Ameer Faheem is not a simple business. He is still hyperactive as how he was (I guess since he was in my womb) Our Ameer Faheem develops physically very fast. He managed to turn prone before he was 2 months, and progressed very fast from there. He can now play football very smartly. He talks non stop like daddy, he is emotional and rebellious like me, and has a very hot temper which I'm trying my best to cool it down. He cant read yet, but he can pray and recite simple surah and doa :)
Sometimes I think we spoil him too much, but sometimes I think we do that to cover back the times that we leave him behind.

Oh I cant wait to finish my housemanship and plan for a better life for Abang and Ameer Faheem.

I guess I slipped away when he grew up, a thing which I always regret.
I think the last time I left him for work, he was a fragile baby, feeding on milk and requiring diaper change regularly.
Now when I come back, I have a young boy who runs to me after combing his hair and ask me, "Mummy, handsome tak faheem, mummy?" and when I said Yes, he smiled with a thumbs up sign.
I have a boy who wants to brush his teeth before going to sleep and insist to use daddy's talc and hair gel after bath
I have a boy who wakes me up in the morning, asking for nasi goreng, sausage, nasi lemak and coffee
I have a boy who refuse to go to bed because "Faheem lapar, nak nasi"
I have a boy who insists to put on himself his shirt and trousers, and insist on wearing underwear
I have a boy who talks about car, motorbikes, trains and buses
I have a boy who reminds me to switch off the lights and fans before going out
I have a boy who actually chooses his footwear for outings
I have a boy who complains all the time, very bossy, and have a speech diartrhea with and indonesian slang

Haihhh I am old..