3 weeks

3 weeks into O&G.. there was a day when I felt like I couldn't move on..when I wanted so much to march on forward, but there isn't a path which I could identify..when I felt like the future was a bleak monent placed in a infinite yonder, and my heart seemed to drown in horrible blend of palpitation and uncertainties..that is O&G to me.. Abang kept saying, "you have survived Ortho & Paeds, why shouldn't you survive this one? I don't know and I don't know.. Allah has always planned something for each and everyone..

I just want to stop, for few precious moments, to remember that I am a doctor- no matter how lame and unappealing it sounds. And abang has been very kind to bring me to Big Bad Wolf on the very first day the sale started. It was a shopping spree that spanned from 12am-6am! A happy me tagging abang home with a trolley luggage full of children books! Plus 4 books for me, and 1 book for abang. Ameer Faheem deserves it!. He sacrificed so much by not having enough time to spend with us throughout his growing up years. May he grow up to become one tough mujahid!

I actually went there this morning for the second time.. this time around with Yasir. Abang is tagging in Medical. I brought home 2 novels! Not a romantic one of course. I love reading crime thingy.. And also few interior design and garden books, for abang and me to browse through before going to sleep.. a habit which we have adopted for quite some time..

A piece of earth to grow a garden

Bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Now I do feel old, when December is welcomed with school-related stuff. Hey we actually registered Faheem for school next year :P December approaches, we start to peep into the wallet so as to pay the school fees, extra notes to buy school uniform etc. Our Ameer Faheem is indeed a grown boy Alhamdulillah. He should be, as he has a new adik (cousin) now.

He is much much tolerable now, less naughty, understands instruction and keeps saying "Gi Solah" (Pergi sekolah) We brought him to the open day, and he seems to enjoy having colleagues. He talks much exactly like Daddy, he lullabies me to sleep when I come back home from work feeling very tired, and he sings a lot!
(Faheem suka gosok kepala mummy and daddy sambil cakap "Sayang, sayang" and kiss us, and massage us hahaha kelakar betul. He copies exactly what we do to him. Tapi geli betul bila jari halus dia urut, rasa macam kena tickle)

I'm finishing paeds soon insyaAllah. 4 more working days before I move to the  'Department Orang Garang', O&G to be specific. I welcome paeds farewell with a very open heart :).

Am recently very much reminded of a scene in the Secret Garden story, when Mary Lennox stood before his uncle in his study, and was asked "Tell me what do you want? Is there anything that you need?" And she answered, "I want a piece of earth, to grow a garden.."

I don't know from where this garden craze surfaced, but that's what I keep telling abang, "I want a piece of land, to grow a garden". Obviously we dont have a land, we live in a flat :p. But still being an accomodative husband, abang brought me to the plant nurseries in Sg Buloh, and we chose the trees that we like and surveyed the price hahaha. That is one thing about abang that I doubt I can find in anyone other than him, he is absolutely like my sisters when we were small, we believe in dreams, that someday it will come true.. He listen to my 'secret garden' plan, we talk on how our dream house will be, we just believe that a dream won't always be a dream if only we act on it insyaAllah.

P/s Asma gave birth to a cute boy 2 days back, and my sister in law, Huda just got married Alhamdulillah. 

P/S Abang I love you!

Sometimes you just have to pick yourself up and carry on!

I was scrolling through my facebook profile page when I came across a pic of an orange carrying its own self... with those wordings.

Oh i've forgotten about that, but what a much-needed reminder.

It's true, sometimes you are not even laid with any choice but to force yourself and just move on..

I've gone through few adaptive phases which at times really drain me out. First it was the marriage-during-studying period. I've gone through that, yeah I've gone through that.. alhamdulillah

Then it was the ' oversea housewife' period- I actually asked abang every single day for permission to go back to Malaysia

Was followed by single-and -independent career woman period, when abang was busy for his final exam, I  came back with Faheem, and I was busy adapting as a houseman. Working is not as tiring as being a housewife, trust me!

Then abang came back, when my depression level was at the peak. Simply because I had to be a superwoman, struggling to juggle between career and family.

When abang started working, I experienced paroxysmal stress haha, because abang is no more my abang who is always available to bring me shopping, going for holidays, available 24 hours to treat me like a princess.

But human always adapt I guess, and they learn as they traverse life. I learn that life is not always a bed of roses, in fact it is a sea of lavenders! Beautiful in its own way. When I see abang coming home everyday feeling very tired, I love abang more and more! A husband- wonderful and responsible as always.....