My study experience (1)

Hampir terlupa menunaikan hajat seorang ibu-cum-student, Nurul :D, yang minta nasihat tentang cara study. Em Nurul macam tersalah orang je untuk minta nasihat huhuuu.. takde apa yang istimewa untuk dikongsi, pencapaian dulu pun biasa2 sahaja.. tapi Alhamdulillah ala kulli hal..

Mencoret kisah kehidupan ketika study dulu, I had a longstanding history of studying in a day school. I went to SMK Subang (I cycled to school), in the meantime went to boarding schools twice, first in Form 2 (for 2 weeks) and second in Form 4 to KUSESSS (SBP Kuala Selangor) for 4 months. Memang kes tak tahan duduk asrama. Homesick. Took both my PMR and SPM in SMK Subang. Sekolah yang mempunyai reputasi buruk sebagai sekolah tempat pelajar dibuang, anak angkat polis dsb. Well, I am proud of the school, I love the teachers, dan yang pasti disitu aku mula mengenal erti kehidupan.

Then I went to MCIIUM (yang skrg dipanggil CENFOS), reading pre-medicine. Masih boleh tahan. Because I could go back every week, it was quite near to our house, and many a times I went back home during weekdays huhu. Still homesick.

After 2 years, I graduated from MCIIUM, and went to Kuantan. That was when my major problem started huhu. Kuantan campus was 4 hours drive from our house, and my homesickness was very severe such that I thought of quitting medicine haha. I went back home fortnightly, and sometimes weekly huu. Those days were my dark days. I cried every single day, I started to abandon my study, I took exams for granted, but Alhamdulillah Allah helped me along the way, and He showed me what was best for me.

Because I was so fed up (haha), in my first year of MBBS, I decided to get married, so that I won't feel too lonely. Tapi entah macamana takdir Allah, I got engaged to a man who was studying thousand of kilometres away from home! In Jordan huu. Lagilah susah nak dapat permission nak kahwin huhu. But I kept praying and praying and praying to Allah to show me what was best for me. Seriously waktu tu rasa sangat serabut. In the meantime I started to make my own 1-page, computer-printed medical notes, to make myself busy. I planned to stay at home throughout the revision weeks at the end of each posting, but of course I couldn't bring home the bulky and heavy lecture notes!. With time, I became so obsessed with this compact notes hehe. I found it easy to read, and in the same time, my colleagues started asking for the soft copy. Really I enjoyed sharing them! I incorporated the notes given by lecturers and also used few textbooks. Initially I took 1 whole day to finish making a note, but after years, i took 5 minutes to finish making a note alhamdulillah. It was stressful initially when your friend has finished reading many lectures and you are stuck with 1! And definitely hunching in front of the computer for hours caused severe back pain. But I tried hard to be patient. Practices make perfect! By the time I finished my 2 years, I have 3 big A4-sized own notes which my friends call 'Maryam's Book of Spells' haha because I designed the cover just like a spell book. I was influenced by the Charmed series actually :p So I throw away all the lecture notes (given by lecturers). And the 3 books are

1. Book of anatomy (including embryology and histology) and physiology

2. Book of pathology and pharmacology

3. Book of miscellaneous (microbiology, immunology etc)

As for the book 1 and book 2, i arranged the content according to systems. I can still remember:

1. CVS

2. RS

3. GIT

4. HBS

5. UGS

6. Endocrine

7. MSS

8. Neurological system

During the revision week before my first pro, I brought home the 3 books, studied in the leisure of my own home and came back to Kuantan 2 days before the exam. Alhamdulillah I passed.

Then i started my third year. My first clinical year. During this year we were required to acquire the skills to make a diagnosis. 4 rotations- Paediatrics, Surgery, Internal Medicine and O&G. I didn't lose time to start making new notes. At the start of each posting, I will list down all the lecture topics, seminar topics etc. Then I will study according to systems. I am the type of person who likes to compartmentalize everything haha. For example, we had 10 weeks for each posting. So I allocated the first 8 weeks for serious studying and making notes. For paediatric, I have 8 major systems to be covered, so a week for each system. The first week is for CVS for example. I glanced back at the embryology, anat and physio of CVS (in my preclinical spellbook), then I list down the Paediatric CVS topics which I needed to cover in thet 1 week (plus making notes). Few tips which I can give are:

1. Don't procrastinate. If according to your study schedule, you have to finish Congenital Heart disease, Heart Failure etc by TODAY, then do not go to sleep at night without finishing what you have planned earlier. If you procrastinate today, you will procrastinate tomorrow and the day after tomorrow and at the end before the exam, you will feel that there is just too much to be covered!

2. Don't spend too much on a topic. For example, I have seen someone who wants to study about cholelithiasis, and that person opened Snell (Anatomy book), opened Netter (another anatomy book!), trying to compare things. You want to study cholelithiasis and not anatomy, so stay focused. Yes anatomy is important but now is not the time to compare the anatomy stated in different books! So that person ended up spending the whole night on cholelithiasis alone! Macamana nak habis study huhuu.

3. Read fast. The first time you read a topic you may want to spend a little more time, say 15 minutes if it is a short topic (obviously 15 minutes are not enough for Congenital Heart Disease). But the second time you read it, no more than 5 minutes should be spent on it! Memorize the important points, the differentiating features etc. For example if a child comes with shortness of breath, what are the differentials? And how can you differentiate each differentials etc.

4. Discuss with friends. Discuss doesn't mean you need to have a study group. I don't have a study group. I study alone. But I have a study partner with whom I discussed usually few days before exams, after both of us have a basic idea of the whole posting, and we try to highlight important points. I don't prefer the idea of attending a study group when I still can't imagine the structure of a topic. In short, I don't like to come empty. I will only drift to something else while somebody is teaching huhuu. But different people have different preference so know your preference :)

At the end of my third year MBBS, I finally got married haha. Alhamdulillah. Married but stayed apart was to me far far far more tolerable than staying single. Life became much happier for me. Allah gave me a bestfriend with whom I could share every single thing in life. Alhamdulillah and alhamdulillah. My homesickness has reduced in intensity.

In 4th year, I moved out of the hostel, to a pink house which i shared with Mimi. That was really fun! To have your own home, where I could bake and cook, which I could decorate and kept clean hehe. Moving out of the hostel was a BIG relief. I had many things to do to lessen the pressure. Medicine itself was not a burden, but the life was! Far from home, stuck in such a small hostel cubicle, nothing much to do other than studying haihh. That was when i started baking cakes and sell them! (Adoi sempat lagi jual cake huhu. That was for fun :D)

Orang kata 4th year ni honeymoon year. But of course not to me. I don't study as hard (or as stressful) as everybody else, when most people are stressfully studying, and yet I don't honeymoon like everybody else, when many people are honeymooning I guess hehe. The word is 'consistent'. I used 4th year to the most. During my family medicine posting, I used it to update my 3rd year notes, mostly IM. In FM, you will learn chronic diseases (esp HPT, DM, Asthma etc) in details, including the management. During this posting I finished reading the CPGs (which is extremely important), took out the important points and made notes out of them (so that I don't have to read the CPG again in final year). In FM, you will also learn a bit of Paeds, O&G, surgery, so I made notes and compiled them with my 3rd year notes. In public health, I took the chance to revise my biostatistics (in preclinical year) so that I don't have to study them again for my final pro. We also had specialize postings- which are important. But I (as usual) incorporated the topic into my 3rd year postings for example

1. Anaesthesiology was incorporated into my Surgery notes

2. Dermatology was incorporated into IM

3. Radiology was divided into all 4 major postings

4. ENT stood by itself

5. Ophthalmology also stood by itself

Entering 5th year, the first posting was such a horror. it was IM. I had hyperem. Of course I didn't attend ward, didn't cover my patients, didn't fill up my logbooks except for few to get a Pass haha. I attended bedside teaching for an hour few times per week only to make sure my attendance is not affected. I didn't study at home, luckily abang was in Malaysia at that time, and he helped me a lot. Hantar g hospital utk attend kelas 10am, tunggu depan hospital at 11am to fetch me home hehe.

Masuk je 2nd posting which was O&G, I started to sprint. Habiskan notes IM and in the same time siapkan notes O&G. Sebabnya utk 5th year, we have to know how to manage and treat the patient in detail. So I update my 3rd year notes, repair here and there and hey my notes were ready to be printed and bound! I made them halve A4 size. still my spellbooks, but smaller version :D

Adush panjang sangat ni... I'll continue later with

1. Mcmna study waktu pregnancy?

2. Mcmna study waktu bersalin?

3. Mcmna study dengan Ameer Faheem?

4. Bila masa nak buat semua notes ni?

5. Mcmna nak tackle pro?

Ramadhan kali ini..

Alhamdulillah, berpeluang lagi untuk memanjakan diri dalam bulan ramadhan. Cepatnya masa berlalu, kali ini dah ramadhan ketiga aku bersama abang. Dan ramadhan kedua bersama ameer faheem (ramadhan pertama waktu ameer faheem 5 bulan dalam rahim hehe). Hati memang terlalu berharap agar ramadhan kali ini menjadi ramadhan yang paling bermakna antara tiga ramadhan yang pernah kami harungi bersama.. aura kehadiran ramadhan kali ini pun dirasakan hadir dengan kemegahan yang tersendiri, ketawadhukan yang berbeza, kesayuan yang menggigit jiwa dan yang pasti semangat yang membara! Semangat untuk mencari kembali 'ruhul jadid' berbekalkan iman2 lapuk yang masih tersisa...

Ramadhan itu tak pernah berubah! Sentiasa ramadhan yang sama. Ramadhan yang serupa. Sesungguhnya iman kita jugalah yang menjadikan ramadhan itu dipandang dengan persepsi berbeza.. dan dimanfaatkan dengan cara yang berbeza.

Mengimbau ramadhan lalu aku dan abang, Ramadhan pertama hadir ketika aku dan abang masih baru bergelar suami isteri, dan baru sahaja bertemu setelah perpisahan yang lama. Pastinya bila bertemu, terlalu banyak perkara ingin dilakuan bersama, terlalu banyak cerita yang ingin dikongsi, terlalu letih meraikan kedua2 belah keluarga, dan yang pasti kami travel merata-rata tempat sehingga acapkali abang memberitahuku 'sebahagian besar usia abang habis dalam kereta!" Hehe. Barangkali urusan yang banyak itu mencuri waktu untuk beribadah, cerita yang panjang itu mengurangkan waktu untuk membaca al-Quran, keletihan bersosial tidak memungkinkan kami untuk bertahajjud dan masa yang dihabiskan di jalanan membuatkan kami sering terlepas untuk berjamaah tarawih di masjid..

Ramadhan kedua kami bersama.. Abang berpuasa Alhamdulillah sebulan penuh di Malaysia. tapi aku? Masih dalam fatrah mabuk mengandung, masih harus bersabar menahan loya, masih teruk muntah2, dan yang pasti memang tidak mampu untuk berpuasa. Memang, aku tidak berpuasa sebulan penuh! Kasihan abang, bersahur sendiri, berbuka juga sendiri dan bertarawih juga sendiri. Malah ketika berpuasa terpaksa pula masak dan sediakan makanan untuk isteri yang memang lembik dan emosional hehe.

Ramadhan kali ini? Kali ini di Jordan. Waktu berpuasa lebih panjang dari Malaysia. Berpuasa ketika summer, memang menguji. Sahur 3.30am, berbuka 8pm. Tapi alhamdulillah aku memang dah marathon ganti puasa sebelum ni, yang baru sahaja selesai 2 hari sebelum 1 Ramadhan (hehe), maka keletihan 1 Ramadhan tidak begitu terasa. Ameer Faheem sudah besar, maka kami bawa dia ke masjid untuk bertarawih. Masjid Jaamia'h Yarmouk. Tentulah dia seronok, ramai kawan di sana :p, walaupun dia menangis juga dihujung2 solat kerana terlalu mengantuk. Tapi Ameer Faheem memang mudah tidur, mummy bagi bantal dan botol susu, dia tidur tergolek atas carpet masjid, ditengah2 kehingaran orang bersolat, di antara kesibukan ratusan manusia mengabdikan diri kepada Allah.. Moga Ameer Faheem menjadi pemuda yang mencintai masjid. Ameen.

A continuation of the previous post haha

Ameer Faheem selalu kepanasan and suka tidur bawah kipas. Bila dah letak atas tilam, dia golek2 sendiri untuk baring betul2 bawah kipas

Ameer Faheem yang tak suka panas. Putera lilin betul!

Well here I continue..

Kakak moved to a new house yesterday (the house besides the house next door!), haha biarkan dia pulak penat :p. I can't wait to go back home (Malaysia). Plus I can't wait to manipulate her sewing machine [evil laugh] which was previously in Sepang and too far away from Ummi's house. I have too many sewing projects being planned huuu.


Today I bake oatmeal cookies!


lately I think I have a whining overdose but not to the extent of producing toxicity I'm sure. Things like, "abang, I have cracked heels because of the cold floor (before we put the carpet)", "abang, jari2 ayang melecet sebab gunting carpet", "abang, jangan balik lambat tau", "the list goes on and on. as usual he gives his lazy replies such as, "Suami ayang tak kisah pun, takpe" or "Mak tak pernah pun complain pasal kulit rosak. Tak penting pun" Dushh I really don't know whether I'm lucky or not huuu. In turn, abang has such a severe medical student syndrome I think haha. There was 1 day when he came home, telling me he was worried as to whether he had cancer or not! Colon cancer to be specific!!!?? Aku pun buat gaya malas layan. But I still asked him what made he think that way, and he gave me a list of reasons, and suddenly at the end of the explanation he said "Tadi waktu round (kat hospital), tgk colon cancer patient. Dr cakap kalau dulu orang tua2 je cancer, sekarang orang muda yg dpt cancer ni". Patutla. Ok, I still managed to make a poker face uhuuu. Then we went out, walking along syari' jamiah searching for a weighing scale (here there are few people who bring their weighing scales and we pay them when we want to weigh ourselves). 53kg. He made such a big fuss about that. (His usual weight is around 55kg). I told him that we did heavy work for the past 1 month, that's the best explanation. When we have settled down, he'll gain his weight back. 2 days later, he weighed himself again. 49kg. Again he told me that he's getting even more worried uhuuu. Then I said even a cancer patient won't lose 4kg in 2 days huuu, plus he looks perfectly normal to me. That night when I had dinner with him, he stopped early because he said he was already full. Sebab abang dah makan kuih kasturi dengan sangat banyak before that. I actually threatened him by saying "Esok abang timbang 45kg!" lepastu abang gelak menyembur, habis kena seluar and meja. Abang, abang.. macam2 huhuuu.


Ameer Faheem pulak, has started to smell when he sweats. He really reminds me of my bros when they came back from the field after football games (during their schooling years). Smelly and soaked in sweat yuckkks. That is how Ameer Faheem smells uhuuu. Dahlah bau peluh (he usually sweats after playing outside or after bouts of crying), pastu nangis2 nak peluk mummy jugak. Lepastu suka nangis sambil hisap jari, bila nampak mummy, terus keluarkan jari (yang penuh dengan air liur) dari mulut nak pegang muka mummy, pegang hidung mummy aiseh segala yang busuk2 ni mummy sabar je lah bau haha. Faheem ni memang pantang tengok orang makan, mesti dia nak. And he really doesn't mind eating anything, tak memilih langsung. An excellent trait that he inherits from abang :D Really abang is not choosy at all in many things.


Because of the difficulty in managing two boys in the house, finally I won the award when abang said "Ayang ni suka berleter la". Maka aku terasa seperti seorang perempuan bersanggul dan serabai memakai kain batik, yang berdiri di tangga di pintu rumah sambil menjerit2 kat anak-anak, sambil tangan memegang senduk untuk memukul anak yang degil. Haihhh. That is life as for now~