Written 8 days before my wedding haha

This was written 8 days before my marriage..

8 more days to go before I will be officially tied to A'thiq. Feeling? Stressful & Worried. Stressful? Yup, i think it's the continuum of yesterday's incident.. I smsed him, asking his whereabout. Told me that he was about to board the plane. Yeay Alhamdulillah! Abah told me to delay my plan to go back to Kuantan tomorrow morning. So the latest plan is to buy Shah-Alam Kuantan ticket, Saturday 9am.

Abah will fetch him from KLIA tomorrow morning. In the first place, he asked me to go to the airport with him, then he changed his mind. Feeling? I do miss him a lot and badly want to see him but.... i'd rather meet him for the first time after a long period, on our wedding day.. and i'd rather talk to him for the first time as his wife.. why? I'm dead afraid of the emotional outburst.

He called me this evening but I refused to answer. Why? Again it's the emotional outburst. I was worried that I might have cried when I listened to his voice through the phone. Why? Simply because I miss him so much, a fact that I have never shared with him

A friend called me just now, but again I refused to answer.Why? Not in the mood. I am currently extremely insane!

He told me to log into his Yahoo account for I was assigned to do something.. accidentally saw an email folder entitled Zaujahku Sayang (My beloved wife) containing all my emails. Oooppsss probably he forgot about that when he asked me to log into his account huhu. Feeling? My Lord, that was the last thing I need!! Currently in such a rindu-rindu state, I wouldn't want any induction dose sigh~

8 more days to go?? I just can't wait for his first husbandly kiss hehe. My exams? errrrr forgot bout that... :p

Written 7 days before my wedding haha again

Written 7 days before my wedding..

Me: Athiq, is there anything that you would like to share with me? I'm worried...

Athiq: Maaf.. ana belum btul2 stabil,, (T_T) xsampai ati nk cerita..xnak Batul susah ati n risau.. Lgpun kurang dari 10 hari je lg.. InsyaAllah, everything under control. I learnt a lot today.. Lots of Hikmah from Allah. Jgn bimbng sgt3 k.. Batul prepare n settlekan apa2 yg patut k.. Take Care!- P/s: hebatnya Ujian Allah.. Subahanallah! Nti memang BETUL2 berkualiti! MasyaAllah.. :)

Me: Okay.. w'pun mana mungkin hati ni tenang till i know u r perfectly ok.. waktu dgr brite, rasa nak menangis n giveup, tp bila lama fikir2 smula, baru sedar ni tarbiyah dr Allah :) kita pilih jalan sukar dengan harapan diberkatiNya, pasti ujian pun xsdikit kn? Ntah bila jd isteri, dpt brite nta xsiht d Jordan tp xdpt bantu selain dr doa, tntula tabah & sabar yg buatkn kta dpt harungi saat getir mcm tu kn? Bykan sabar n doa. Allah pasti bantu! :)

He said: Yup! That is 1 of the parts i'm really in love with you most.. Be positif k.. :) InsyaAllah ana kheir. Apa2 nnt ana maklumkn k.. at least hari akad nikah ni byk modal nk 1st talk n share wif my WIFE! (^_~) Do keep praying for us k.. Barakallahu feek! :)

Me? Eit sempat lg terlepas keluar word 'love' tu eh??! En abang, 9 hari lg before nikah kita, sabar2 eh!

Baru td dpt berita dr Ummi, A'thiq met with an accident on his way to the airport. Kesannya he couldn't board the flight which he was supposed to take.. Sepatutnya sampai Malaysia hari ni, now dah tertangguh.. aku memang risau.. sampai i couldn't concentrate on my study. I opened Dutta bat amazingly I couldn't read even a line..

Hati memang tak tenang. Risau. But of course I don't want to burden him more. So I do what I usually do- act cool huhu.

P/s I almost forgot about this.. It was really stressful huu..

For Maryam

eh bit pun menyibok nak tgk tudung???

sembonia wedges

jubah seluar

prayer mat

The list of my things::::

1. 2 whitecoats

2. prayer mat

3. jubah seluar

4. sembonia wedges

5. handbag

6. tudung huu

7. watches

8. huu tak tau lagi

9. duit mahar

10. wedding ring (most important hehe)

For A'thiq

a pair of baju melayu (sepasang with my jubah seluar huu)

trousers

neck ties & shirts

prayer mat (beli sepasang with mine hehe- same colour but different designs)

All these before I 'process' them into real hantaran huu. By the way, being the DIY girl (or hardware girl as Yasir calls me), i plan to make them all by myself. sorry to my friends who have offered to do it for me at a very cheap 'buddy price'.. really appreciate it :) I'll upload the completed hantaran later k

Hantaran

People keep asking me about hantaran. Initially i was neither keen nor interested in making hantaran, because i like things which are not suitable for hantaran. for example i don't like black formal shoes, but i thought it would look weird if i buy soe funky girly sandals for hantaran. that kind of thing.. but in the end we agreed on hantaran because we were afraid our families would feel kinda.... shocked should we cut on too many traditional things haha.

the thing is i went shopping alone for my things (because i am such a cerewet person thus i wanted to buy my own things) and i bought athiq's gifts as well. pheww up to a point that i felt so tired and was thinking of crying and leaving all the gifts in the shopping complex huuu.

But all in all, for athiq, i bought:

1. 3 shirts

2. 2 trousers

3. 2 neckties

4. 2 whitecoats

5. 1 pair of baju melayu

6. stethoscope (abah yang beli)

7. ophthalmoscope & otoscope (abah beli jugak hehe)

8. prayer mat

9. homemade chocolates! hehe

as for my things and all the pics, i'll tell later k :)

1st draft of my wedding invitation card

1 have 3 designs. the card will be a 2-sided card. on 1 side, it is going to be in english, and on the other side, it's going to be in bahasa melayu. my family prefer the pink for bm, and definitely yhe white for english. all designed by me hehe.

Sequins and beads

My wedding gown dah siap. And currently I'm working on it sewing beads and sequins. Aiyaa I wonder how many bride in this world design their own wedding gown and invitation card, sew on the beads and sequins herself, and do almost everything from A to Z sendiri hahaha. Because i do almost everything by myself except for the catering and b0oking the hall. i enjoy it so much and I want as much my own personal touch as possible for my wedding. I'll upload the pic later when it is finished. And I wonder whether my veil and tudung are ready or not. Still with Kak Shahmah..

Updates & updates

Whoaaa it took me such a long time to post a new entry. It's the dark mood huu. Few updates on my upcoming wedding :) Have I told you that I have bought the wedding veil? Hmm it is a piece of white net material, with pink flowers sewn on it (sulam) I hope it suits my gown. The pink flowers are a bit more pinkier than my gown though and the white veil is a bit whiter than my gown.. but never mind.  The veil is still with Kak Shahmah.

By the way, let me introduce K. Shahmah :p A tailor living in IM8, a very jovial and happy lady and I extremely enjoy the visits to her house. She sews my veil for me, and she is very keen in doing it that she offered to do it for free! 
She does a lot of work on the veil, hemming it and such fine finishings, and I can't wait for the veil to be ready!!

As for the card, I designed everything myself (I am such a D-I-Y person!!!) and I showed it to Athiq. He LOVES the card, and I feel relieved.. When I asked him to guess the colour of the card, he answered PINK. I told him that he was wrong, and he was so surprised that colours other than pink do exist in my world haha. He was quite right actually hehe because my card was creamy white with pink flowers. That's the english version huhuu. The malay version is in black. 

Ummi and Abah examined the design and they did not object. I guess they are satisfied. But Ummi asked me why do I have to make the English version. I said because I wanted to.. I want the english card (it's not the language, but it is the design and style) but i can't forget about the malay version (and i have to keep reminding myself that I am breathing the air of Malaysia :p) Asma' was so fond of the design that she told me to keep the editable one until her marriage and she just want to change the details haha. But I told her to make other design, It is copyright!

Yesterday I have bought the kain for athiq's wedding outfit and for my gown ALHAMDULILLAH :) Cream in colour

Crinoline

I'm trying to decipher the secret of crinoline haha. Crinoline is the 'petticoat' which makes a wedding gown looks full and kembang huu. I found a good guide here. Now I definitely need it but how could I make the crinoline? sigh~ our sewing machine has broken down....

Invitation card is next

Yesterday, I make the invitation list, and A'thiq chipped in those he would like to invite..especially his lecturers in matriculation. I have surveyed the invitation card. And I found a really cheap card at www.kadkahwinku.com. Only 0.25c per piece if I order 1000 pc. So RM250 in total. That is extra cheap. It is such a waste to spend my money on expensive card because they are going to be thrown away by everybody anyway. I'll upload the picture when the cards are ready

And again A'thiq didn't make a fuss out of it. I asked him how much does he expect for the card price.. and he said RM2.50. Such a naive man hehe (sorry a'thiq) bancruptcy will definitely be my titile if i order 1000 piece of invitation card at RM2.50 per piece!!! He said he liked them.. so another thing settled. Alhamdulillah, for easing my job.. :)

My wedding dress cloth is going to arrive tomorrow! insyaAllah

Finally I get to update this blog after such a long time. Well...what's the update? Umm I have bought the cloth for my wedding dress. Actually I bought 2 pieces- 1 pink and 1 purple..and I still can't decide which one will I use. Ahh the clothes are going to arrive tomorrow. They cost me RM340, but it is not often I buy such expensive clothes (they sure are expensive in my perception!! I'm not loaded anyway)

They are a bit different from the usual wedding dress because I personally despise the traditional wedding dress huu. one main fact is- they are body hugging, secondly... i don't know. you know the kebaya etc..such baby T in disguise urghhh!!

I'm thinking of making a gown. And I have consulted my usual tailor- Mak Cik Zi. She agreed to make it. I told her it's the english gown. And she doesn't mind at all. I asked my family as well whether they agreed on my choice.. well it is not going to be a white english wedding because it is just not so original, but i would rather say.. a merge between the east and west hahaha. My gown is going to be something between the normal jubah and english wedding gown. But ummi warned me not to make a vintage victorian gown hahaha because she knew just how much i love the vintage and victorian!

And kakak said my whole family checked out the cloth in the internet including abah. Yup I know that I am such an internet shopper, but i have never once 
imagined in my mind that i am going to buy my wedding dress also from the internet!! Athiq said the designs and colours suit me :) But 1 thing about him, he doesn't really care about fashion.. or  he doesn't care about fashion AT ALL. Included is his own clothing huu.

Abah is a bit doubtful though.. he was afraid that i might not like the texture of the clothes,though the design looked very sweet but.. the usual stubborn me.. i bought it anyway, provided that i keep it a secret from him hehe until i have received it and satisfied with it and ummi and my sibs were all IN the secret haha.

So I am planning to go to Kamdar tomorrow, to buy the lining for the gown. The cloth is thin and transparent actually. And I am planning to buy athiq's cloth also. But I still can't decide whether I want a satin or what.. my budget is thinning!! The cloth is RM180. And I have to think of the tailoring cost which may easily reach RM100. And the satin? The wedding veil? The hijab? Oh my.. i'm such a big waster!!

Actually yesterday I went to Kamdar while waiting for my passport photo to be ready. I found a french lace cloth which i extremely love.. 
but the price is RM125 per meter. So i should just forget about it before Athiq get mad at me 
for being such a big spender (He always comment on this weakness of mine)

So.. can't wait for tomorrow! :)

26th January 2009

Though I think it is a bit late, but I am still very happy to start blogging about my wedding planning :) To start with, my engagement took place on 27th May 2007 (whoa such a long time ago!!). It was a small occassion but significant (to me at least hehe). 
That was the first time I met his family.. and such a big family!! I have 5 siblings, and the 
youngest was 14 at that time, he has 10 siblings and the youngest was 3 months old!!!!

I clearly remembered that day, I was SOOO tired of cooking (we cooked ourselves huuu) that I went to sleep at 11am. And when his family arrived at around zohr, I was fast asleep!!!

Only when my mum cried at the top of her lung and Umar playfully told me "Bapak mertua mu da sampai", I drowsily walked to the bathroom to take my bath!! Haha and truthfully I was not anxious at all, probably because he was not around (he was faraway in Jordan. Trust me I couldn't even breathe when he was around and still.... so if i faint on my wedding day, you should remember the provisional diagnosis- Hypoxemic attack secondary to psychosomatic apnea k).. so I think I passed gracefully :)

But I didn't receive my engagement ring until later- somewhere in August. That was explained by his homecoming from jordan during his holiday. He bought my ring himself in Jordan :) And he came with his cousin to meet my abah. Yup, you are right, I didn' dare to meet him, 
and he went back with frustration after handing in the ring and we exchanged our gifts (ummi was the mediator hik hik). 
I just wanted to avoid the apnea :p

Truthfully we wanted to get married a.s.a.p but my abah couldn't disagree more. So we 'pestered' him until he finally said "YES" 2 years later!!! Can you just imagine the emotional roller coaster ride that we went through the whole 2.5 years!! (the engagement was 6 months after he first proposed me) It was damn terrible. I wanted to talk to him so much, I wanted to share my life with him, I wanted to feel cared and loved by him.. but everything was just... IMPOSSIBLE.

We rarely sms each other back then. And by the word 'rarely', it means EXTREMELY RARE. Don't even mention phone call, it was to me (my personal opinion back then when i was such a inexperience perfectionist) the most sinful thing haha. But i was extremely depressed. And we fought each other almost everyday, and I didn't even know why did we agree to get engaged! It felt like hell.

Ummi helped us a lot. Whenever he was depressed, and he just didn't know how to handle my terrible EQ and emotional breakdown, he would consult Ummi. Whenever I refused to contact or contacted by him (which was almost all the time), 
he would consult Ummi and asked her how I am doing. Whenever I felt like breaking up with him, 
I would consult Ummi. Whenever I felt the depression was too much to be handled, I would 
consult Ummi. So you see she was and is still our relationship counsellor. She is just soo great, 
we love her sooo much!!

My advise: if you are such a strict person on Islamic syariah esp on muamalat, and you won't feel at ease having free communication with the opposite sex, or you want to avoid any syubhah, please don't be engaged for too long. It was a disaster, and it was terrible. Many a time I thought of breaking up, because the relationship was so stressful (He was a great person to me, and the fact that I couldn't share my life with him throughout the engagement period was so unbearable, that I just wanted to forget about him and marry somebody else)

But alhamdulillah after 2 years being engaged, we have learnt a lot. We still fight each other now, but we become friends again after just a short while. We learnt not to be egoistic. Most of the time (remember that, akhi) I would be the one who apologize first eventhough I feel it is not my fault, and he would follow (It feels so nice :>) We don't involve Ummi in our occassional little fights anymore hehe. We sms each other occasionally, and YM, and call but we are still very careful and strict on the forbidden romantic part huhuu. Everything is very sophisticated and formal, and I think I sound like a robot on the phone! -sigh-.waiting for the day..

I have grown close to his family especially his sister who quite frequently calls me, thanks Huda:) And I found out that I have so much in common with his sister, Eizzah regarding cooking, and we just can't stop exchanging recipes whenever we meet! or even through sms haha. And his mum is such a great tailor that I can't wait to learn something from her!! because I am also fond of sewing. Allah has planned everything perfectly insyaAllah.

There is so much to tell! I'll write from time to time insyaAllah :)